And yes, I recognized how ironic that sounded considering I was poo-pooing my own mark, but this wasn’t about a mystical stamp. It was about real connection. These two had it. It was a shame they didn’t realize it.
“You staying the night?” Jen asked me.
“Yep. You two want to pop over once your shift ends?”
“Can’t,” Thomas answered with a grin. “Got a date.”
Finally. “I knew you’d hooked up.”
Jen froze, and her cheeks went red, but Thomas simply looked confused.
Oops. Talk about grabbing the wrong end of the shit stick. “I mean, I knew you’d hook up with someone soon. Hot guy like you.”
Jen shot me a relieved look.
Great save, Fee.
Thomas shrugged. “You know, if you’ve got it, you’ve got it.”
“I actually have a date, too,” Jen said.
Thomas looked surprised. “You never said.”
“You never asked,” Jen retorted with a hint of tartness.
Thomas merely blinked at her. I could almost hear the cogs whirring in his brain. Yes, Thomas, other people do find Jen attractive. Look at her. Can’t you see it? Aha, yes, you’re jealous. I wonder why that is?
It was time to exit this weird revelatory moment. “Where are the reapers?”
“Kitchen,” Thomas said, but his gaze remained fixed on Jen.
I slipped from the room. Sometimes, it took a nudge for you to realize your feelings. Maybe knowing that someone was interested in Jen would make Thomas realize how he felt about her.
I headed down the corridor, past the control room, and to the kitchen at the back of the building. Dayna, my second in command for Deadside, had an espresso machine in there. Lesser demons had a thing for caffeine, it seemed, and I was totally on board with that.
Voices drifted through the wood. Annoyed, raised voices.
“Does she think we have nothing better to do?” an irate female voice demanded.
Instinct had me pausing outside the office door and slipping into eavesdropping mode. Piss off, guilt. This was about me, I was sure of it, and my inquiring mind needed to know.
“She’s reliant on the other Dominus for travel,” Dayna explained. “She’ll be here. I’m sure of it.”
“Oh, yes. A Dominus without wings or teleportation powers, how could I forget,” a male voice said sarcastically. “Here to do the fucking easy work while we bust our asses out there every fucking week, keeping the streets clean.”
“Nox,” Dayna admonished. “You don’t get to speak about your Dominus that way. Not in front of me.”
“Peiter was a Dominus. Vale was a Dominus. This demon raised as a human is a dud,” he snapped back.
“A Dominus is supposed to lead their reaper team,” the unnamed woman said. “Freya is injured because we didn’t have a Dominus with us last night. We’re a reaper down because this new Dominus can’t be bothered to return our calls. We can’t work like this any longer. We shouldn’t have to. There’s a fucking code. A fucking process.”
“Sariah …” Dayna sounded fed up. “I’ve explained that Fee is in training. She isn’t ready to be out in the field yet. Azazel won’t allow it.”
“Allow it?” Nox said. “Is she a Dominus or not?”
“Enough,” Dayna snapped. “Cut the attitude before I cut you. You don’t know her. She’s not like the other Dominus, but that’s not a bad thing.”
My heart warmed toward the demon who was defending me, but there was no ignoring the hint of doubt in her tone. The weariness at having to stick up for me. I cracked my shields and bit back a gasp at the cocktail of emotions that hit me. Anger, anxiety, fear, and doubt mingled to create a toxic atmosphere that was almost choking.
Shame heated my cheeks because the reapers were right. I needed to be out there. I was a Dominus, and it was time to act like one. I slammed down my shields and stepped into the room.
All eyes zeroed in on me. Dayna was leaning against the sink, clutching a cup of coffee, and three other demons sat around the small, round table where the staff took their lunch.
The female had a crimson mohawk and horizontal pupils in her yellow eyes. Sariah, no doubt. The two guys had almost identical features, except one had obsidian horns that curled like a ram’s, and the other’s horns rose up like a stag’s. All three demons’ skin glowed with strange silver symbols, tiny symbols that covered their arms and necks. And all three demons glared at me.
No point pussyfooting around. “I heard everything you just said.”
Sariah paled. One of the guys cursed softly under his breath.
“Look, Fee,“ Dayna said. “They didn’t mean any offense. They were just venting. It’s been tough out there. Reapers rely on their allocated Dominus for a host of things and … It’s nobody’s fault.”
Wait, did she think I was pissed off? “Whoa. I’m not disputing that. I get it. This is on me.”
The reapers exchanged confused glances.
“I’m new at this, and I’m learning, but I want to do this well. I want to be there for you. I want to be out on patrol with you.”
“Then maybe return our calls?” the guy with the stag horns said.
“I didn’t get any calls. Hell, I didn’t even know I was meant to be patrolling.” It sounded like I was making excuses. That wasn’t what I wanted. “That’s not your problem. I need to get my shit together, and I promise you, I will.”
They traded looks again, then the demon with the stag horns nodded. “Fine. In that case, you’ll come on patrol with us tomorrow night?”
Excitement and fear swirled in my stomach, and then assurance and power rushed through my veins. It was my Voralex and this place. It was with me, telling me I wouldn’t be alone out there.
I smiled. “I’ll be with you.”
“No, you won’t,” Azazel said from the doorway.
The demons, my reapers, looked to me for a response. I was their Dominus, not Azazel. I was their leader, at least I was supposed to be, but here he was speaking for me, and it hit me that that’s all I’d been subjected to since becoming a Dominus.
Conah, Azazel, Mal, they made my decisions for me. They spoke for me. And yeah, I was new at this, and there were inherent risks that were specific to me, but I’d allowed it to happen. I’d given up my voice because I was afraid and unsure. Because I was so out of my depth. But every new role in life came with a learning curve, and I was damned good at anything I set my mind to.
I turned to face Azazel. “I don’t need your permission to do my job.”
No one owned me. Not Conah, not Mal, and not Azazel. I was bound only by the limitations out of my control, like the fact I couldn’t get from the Underealm to the human realm. I was beholden to them because of that simple fact. But I didn’t need their permission to do my job. The scythe chose me for a reason.
I was worthy.
“You’re not ready,” Azazel said.
But I was. I was as ready as I would ever be without any actual practical experience, and he knew it. I could see it in his eyes. This wasn’t about me. It was about the minute amount of risk that presented itself every time I left for the human world. The risk that I might die in some unknown manner and activate the curse to fuck up Lilith.
But a vampire couldn’t drain me dry because Dominus blood sucked for them. It could tear open every artery and hope I bled out, but I’d fight back. A mouth could attack me, but without a Dread to finish me off, it was unlikely it would be able to maim me enough to incapacitate me before the scythe did its thing and healed me. And, yes, there was a dagger out there, but the hooded figures that had it had gone to ground. As for Lilith’s minions finding me now that I’d been stripped of the shielding Azazel had placed on me, well, they could do that anywhere, but to be honest, with all the unrest in the Underealm, Lilith had better things to do with her time and resources.
Based on those facts, I was pretty damn invincible.
“You’re not ready,” Azazel repeated, but he didn’t sound so convinced now.
Probably because I was staring at him with a blank look while I processed all the ways I was fucking ready.
I gave him a closed-lip smile. “We’ll just have to see, won’t we?”
Chapter Ten
Yay to me for standing up to Azazel. Then why was my stomach trembling with nerves? Because this was me going at it alone. Jumping into the deep end as team leader.
It would be fine. It was like any other leadership role, except I had to kill monsters and heal my team if they got hurt. Yep, my scythe could heal them. News flash to me.
“Are you all right?” Dayna asked.
I stared at the empty doorway where Azazel had just stood. He hadn’t argued any further with me. Instead, he’d given me an undecipherable look and then turned on his heel and left.
Left me with no ride to the Beyond.
Left me stranded.
Point taken, big guy.
Shit, I hadn’t thought this through. Okay, pull it together. “I need you to sort my comms so I can get messages from my team. I then need you to take me to the wounded reaper.” I looked at my team. “I’m going to need one of you to be my designated ride.” The stag-horned demon was the biggest. “You can have that privilege.”
He arched a brow. “You want me to carry you?”
I stared at him levelly. “I don’t have wings or teleportation, so, yes. I’ll need you to get me in and out of the Underealm. You’ll need to come pick me up whenever I call. Can you do that?”
Sariah answered for him. “Yes, Dominus. Nox will do it.”
The stag dude nodded. “Yes, Dominus.”
“And you can quit with the Dominus shit. My name is Fee. Use it.” I flicked my wrist, and my scythe bloomed to blinding life in my hand. “Okay, how do I pick up these souls you have for me?”
Transfer of souls from reaper to scythe was pretty easy. I touched them with the blade, and it sucked out the souls they were carrying. Simple. It took less than five minutes, and then the glyphs that had glowed on their skin dulled and vanished.