“I’m done talking about this.” There was steel in my voice. “I have more important shit to focus on. A child died.”
“And it wasn’t your fault.”
“No. But if I’d pulled my finger out and trained harder from the start, then maybe I’d have been faster, stronger, something … Maybe I could have saved him.”
“Fee—”
“No, Cora. It’s my job to make sure that never happens again. Not on my fucking watch.”
I brushed past her into the corridor beyond and strode toward the steps. I loved Cora, God knows I loved her, but I needed space to grow into this new role on my terms.
I took the stairs two at a time and walked smack bang into a solid chest. My gaze shot up to meet sapphire.
“Conah …” Oh, fuck.
Chapter Two
It was a miracle I’d outmaneuvered Conah for so long. A miracle I’d managed to avoid this conversation, the one that was hovering on his parted lips.
“Hey, you …” I sidestepped him with a bright smile on my face, but he mirrored me. “I need to get pas—"
He gripped my biceps. “Not today, Fee. Today, we talk.” He grabbed my arm and tugged me down the corridor. I should have pulled free, but the rational part of me, the part that knew this needed to happen, put the brakes on evasive action. He led me up another flight of stairs and through a set of ornate double doors. A huge bed dominated the room, and the scent of jasmine—Kiara’s scent—hung heavy in the air.
She’d been in this room with him.
They’d been in this room. Together.
What was I doing? I didn’t belong in here. I yanked my arm from his grasp. “I doubt Kiara would like me being in here with you.”
His jaw tightened. “Fee, I’m sorry. I should have told you about her.”
And there it was, the admission that proved that it hadn’t all been in my head. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders to know that whatever I’d felt between us hadn’t been one-sided.
“Yeah, you should have. But it’s okay. I’m fine, and I’m happy for you. Kiara is a wonderful person, demon, whatever.” I took a breath. Calm it down, Fee. “She’s really nice.”
He smiled tentatively. “I noticed you two have been spending a lot of time together.”
I shrugged. “We click. Like I said, she’s nice, and she bakes, so …”
He looked relieved. “I’m glad you two are friends. I care about you, Fee, more than I …” He pursed his lips and was silent for a long beat. “Cards on the table,” he continued. “I’m attracted to you, but attraction fades, and what I have with Kiara is a soul bond. Our betrothal ensures peace between the kingdoms.”
God, this was awkward and embarrassing, and shit, I wanted it over. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I get the picture. I understood as soon as Kiara got here. Nothing happened between us, Conah. It’s fine. We’re good.”
The words had a cathartic effect, and in that moment, I truly felt good. This had been an attraction, nothing more. Shit happened. People got over it. Simple.
I turned toward the door, but he grabbed my arm again.
“So, why were you avoiding me?” he demanded.
Why did he look pissed off? Why was he in my personal space? Shit, he was too close to ignore. My body, which so far had been dormant, flared to life with awareness. My breath came faster, my skin flushed with heat, and my eyes focused on his mouth.
“Fee …” His voice was a rasp of hunger and longing.
I closed my eyes and exhaled through my nose, blocking out my traitorous body’s response. “I’ve been avoiding you because I was embarrassed, okay. I needed some space and time.” I looked straight ahead at his chest. “You’re too close. I stink. I need a shower.” I tried to pull free, but he held on.
“I like the way you smell,” he said.
My heart flipped, and my stomach did a forward roll. “No. Nope. You can’t say shit like that to me.”
He released me. His mouth parted as if he was shocked at his own words. He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
And therein lay the problem. I backed away. “Yeah, so am I.”
“Fee.” He looked at me imploringly. “Mal and Azazel aren’t the only ones who want to keep you safe.”
My smile was forced, a mere action that didn’t reach my heart. “I’m not safe with you, Conah, and you know it.”
There was no being friends with Conah. Not right now, and maybe not ever, because there was no denying the fizzing sexual attraction between us, and until that faded or died or whatever, we’d need to keep a distance from each other.
I closed and locked my bedroom door and then made my way to the bathroom, stripping off as I went.
“Humansss have such ssstrange bodies,” Cyril said from his coiled position on the bed.
I yelped and clutched the shirt I’d just pulled off to my chest. “Fucking hell, Cyril. How did you even get in here?” I tugged the shirt back on quickly.
“Nooksss and cranniesss, Fee. Nooksss and craniesss.”
I took off my comms watch and placed it on the dresser. I doubted the device was waterproof, not that I’d been contacted on it or had the opportunity to use it yet. Conah, Mal, and Azazel’s comms were linked to mine, so I could send them a message or a signal I was in trouble. It was fitted with a locator.
“We talked about privacy, Cyril.”
“That’sss why I’m here. To get some.”
I bit back a smile. “What? You don’t like bunking with Cora?”
“My face may not reflect it, but I’m giving you a flat look right now.”
“She’s not that bad.”
“Then you bunk with her.”
“Nope.” I headed to the bathroom.
“Fine, let me sssleep here.”
“Nope.” I turned on the shower.
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want a snake in my bed.”
“You didn’t sssay that lassst night.”
“My legs were aching, the constriction helped me get to sleep.”
“So, you only want me for my body?” He sounded genuinely hurt.
And if anyone was listening to this conversation, they’d be totally weirded out.
“Besides, your room gets all the sunlight,” he continued.
I shook my head. “Fine, you can hang out here if you want, but I need to shower before I head to the Academy with Mal.”
I’d deliberately picked a day Conah didn’t work at the Academy for my weekly visit.
There was a knock on the door, and then Iza entered carrying fresh towels, but the usual pop to her step was absent.
She carried the towels into the bathroom and reemerged a moment later and headed for the door.
“Iza?”
She stopped and turned to face me. “Yes, Fee?”
“What’s wrong?”
Her eyes widened. “Nothing’s wrong, Fee. Everything is fine.”
She was lying. “Seriously, Iza, you can tell me if something is bothering you.”
“No. No. I love it here. I value my job, and I enjoy serving you.”
She was acting super weird. “But something is wrong, isn’t it?”
She shook her head.
“She’s lying,” Cyril said. “She’s upset, I can sssmell it. She jussst doesn’t want to lose her job.”
He was right. I could sense it too. “Iza, you’ve been a wonderful friend to me since I got here.”
She looked surprised. “Friend?”
“Yes. Friend. And, as a friend, I want to help you with whatever’s bothering you. It’s what friends do.”
Her shoulders sagged. “My brother owes money. A debt he took to ensure me a place in the lottery for noble service.”
“Wait, you have to pay to work here?”
“No, no. The payment was to be considered for noble service. A noble service is the best employment any lesser demon could ask for.”
“And now your brother can’t pay back the debt?”
“I’ve been sending home money, but Riaza has been sent.”
“And Riaza is?”
“A debt collector. A killer. The loan has been called in five years early, and if my brother fails to settle in three days, he will pay with his life.”
Oh, God. “How much?”
“Fifty ichons.”
Was that a lot? It didn’t sound like a lot, but what did I know.
There was a rap on the door, and I looked over to find Mal leaning against the frame. “How was the workout?” he asked.
“Do you have fifty ichons?”
He frowned. “What?”
“Ichons. I need fifty of them now. I’ll pay you back if you tell me what the conversion is.”
His gaze dropped to Iza, and his brow arched. “And what do you need it for?”
“Iza’s brother’s life is in danger. I need it to clear his debt.”
“How do you know she’s telling you the truth?”
Iza visibly bristled, eyes blazing, but then quickly tucked in her chin to hide her reaction. Mal was a Dominus, her superior. She couldn’t defend herself. But I could.
“How do you know she isn’t?”
He opened his mouth to retort, but I held up my hand. “Do you have fifty ichons or not?”
“Of course, I do. I’m a fucking Dominus.”
“Then please send it to Iza’s brother.”
“I’m not your errand boy, Fee.”
He was probably sick of toting me around everywhere and having to watch my back all the time, but that wasn’t my fucking fault. None of this was.
“Then find me a fucking way to do shit for myself. You won’t have to be my ride anymore.”
“So that you can swan off and get yourself killed?”
“This is bullshit, Mal. I’m not an idiot.”