Blushing, mostly because she was now thinking about why she hadn’t eaten in more than twenty-four hours, Beth piled food on a plate before snatching a bag of blood and returning to her seat.
She glanced toward Odilia as she sat down, but the woman was sitting silent and still, her eyes closed. Wondering just how awkward this was going to make things between them, Beth sighed and set the blood aside for now to concentrate on the food. She did her best not to think about Scotty while she ate, but that was impossible. Her body was still humming from what he’d done to her, and really he hadn’t done much. A kiss and a squeeze and she was as shaky as a virgin on her wedding night.
Closing her own eyes briefly, Beth pondered what it was he wanted from her. She knew he didn’t want her. Well, he did, but only in a physical way. As far as she could tell, Scotty didn’t want her for anything else, not as a mate, or he would have claimed her a century ago. So what were they doing? Was it a fling? An affair? And if so, how long was it supposed to last? Was this just a vacation thing for him? Over once he returned to England? Or were they just going to be eternal bed buddies, sleeping together every time they crossed paths over the next millennium or so, or until he came across another possible life mate who was perhaps more suitable?
Suddenly depressed, Beth opened her eyes and set her half-finished plate on the table. She then slapped the blood bag to her fangs and turned to stare out the window at the earth below. Everything looked so small from up here, she thought, and then smiled faintly and closed her eyes. Maybe this insurmountable problem fully occupying her mind, and seeming so large, was really just as small, a hiccup in her life. If so, wouldn’t she feel foolish for wasting so much energy on it?
In truth, Beth supposed it was foolish either way. Whether the problem was large or small in her life, sitting here fretting about it wasn’t going to solve anything. It wouldn’t even change the situation. She couldn’t change it. There was no way for her to make Scotty accept what she had done in her past, if that was why he wasn’t claiming her. All she could do was change her present behavior, which meant she had a choice—either she accepted that he could not and would not claim her as a life mate because of her past, or she whined and cried about it.
The choice there was an easy one. Whining and crying never achieved anything. So she had to accept it. That being the case, she now had two more choices: enjoy the fling—or whatever this was she was having with Scotty—for as long as it lasted, or protect herself, and avoid him at all costs until he left Canada. He wasn’t the only immortal out there. Surely there would be other possible life mates for her? She just might have to wait a millennium or two to find him.
“I would ask you what you are thinking, but since I can read your mind it is unnecessary,” Magnus said lightly, drawing a scowl from Scotty.
“Ha ha,” he muttered, not bothering to tear his gaze away from Beth to look at his friend. “Yer wit is staggerin’, Magnus.”
“I like to think so,” his friend admitted, and then arched an eyebrow at him. “So what is it that Matias said to you back at the house to get your knickers in such a twist?”
Scotty glanced at him in surprise. “Ye ken Matias said something, but no’ what he said?”
Magnus shrugged. “Your thoughts are mostly fretting over whether Matias was wrong or right, but not what about. So . . . what did he say?”
Scotty hesitated, but then admitted, “Matias thinks I wanted the three-on-one mind wipe performed on Beth because I can no’ accept that she was a—her past.”
“Hmm.” Magnus nodded solemnly. “I see.”
“Which is ridiculous. I suggested that because she was half-mad when we rescued her and suffering under the memories of what had been done to her. Wiping her mind seemed a kindness then.”
“And now?” Magnus asked.
Scotty frowned, but admitted, “She’s better now. As ye said in yer reports, she seems to have found a way to deal with it.”
“So, now you are glad you did not perform the mind wipe on her,” Magnus suggested.
“Nay,” he said at once, and then added, “She’d still be better off if it was done. It would be easier on her if she did no’ have to carry around all those memories about what happened to her. She’d be much happier without them.”
“Hmm.”
“I do no’ care that she—what she did.”
“Hmm.”
“That was over a hundred years ago. It has nothing to do with now,” Scotty assured him.
“Hmm,” Magnus repeated.
“Oh, stop with the hmms and say whatever ’tis ye have to say already,” Scotty muttered, turning to look at Beth again. Whenever Magnus nodded and hmmed, he had an opinion he didn’t think Scotty would like. Unfortunately, it was also something he usually needed to hear.
“I just find it interesting that you cannot seem to even bring yourself to give name to Beth’s profession as a mortal.”
“What?” he asked with surprise.
“You keep avoiding saying what Beth did,” Magnus pointed out almost pityingly. “You keep using phrases like ‘what she did’ and ‘her past,’ neatly avoiding calling her a prostitute.”
Glowering, Scotty turned back to look at Beth. She wore no makeup. Her skin was porcelain, with a light dusting of freckles across the nose. Her sweet, full lips were rosy despite a lack of lipstick, and when she blushed with embarrassment, or flushed with excitement, her cheeks also took on a rosy hue. She was petite, and she was beautiful, with the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. She did not look like a conniving, money-hungry whore.
“Feck,” he muttered as that last thought ran through his head. He did have issues with her being a prostitute. All this time he’d been telling himself that he was waiting for her to heal. And he had been, he was quite sure, but so long as he’d been waiting for her to heal and hadn’t been able to claim her, Scotty had been able to avoid dealing with the issue he had with her former profession.
“It is understandable that you would have issues with it,” Magnus said as if he’d spoken aloud. “We come from an earlier era, one that forged our morals and opinions. We were taught prostitution was an abomination to our Lord God. Of course you would struggle with it,” he said gently, and then added, “It is just a shame you were not admitting to yourself that this was a problem for you so that you could have dealt with it earlier.”
When Scotty merely grunted and continued to frown unhappily, Magnus said, “I suggest you avoid her for the time being, at least until you can sort yourself out. If you can accept her along with her past, including her years in a brothel, then all is fine and well. However, if you cannot, then it would be kinder to leave her be and allow her to get on with her life. But you cannot have it both ways.”
Scotty didn’t respond except to tighten his lips. He didn’t want to let Beth be. He wanted her in his life. He also wanted her in his bed, naked and moaning. He wanted to plunge himself into her over and over again until she forgot every last man she’d bedded over the years.
“You mean until you forget every man she may have had in her bed over the years,” Magnus said quietly, still reading his mind. “Because that is the problem, is it not? Beth has already left that past behind. It is you now struggling with it.”
Scotty closed his eyes. Magnus was right, of course. He was the one tormented by her past. He’d managed to ignore it and pretend it wasn’t an issue all this time because she was so damaged and had needed to heal. But now she had healed. He could claim her . . . if he could just accept her past and get over it.
“I advise you not to confess your issues to Beth,” Magnus said now. “She had a tough life as a mortal, and has worked hard to overcome it. I will not have you insulting or hurting her because of your own hang-ups.”
“O’ course I will no’,” Scotty muttered. He had no desire to hurt her. This was his problem.
“You should not sleep with her either,” Magnus added now, and when Scotty turned a surprised face his way, he pointed out, “Sleeping with her if you cannot ultimately bring yourself to claim her is cruel. And it would make you just as bad as the men in her past who used her for their own pleasure, or for profit.”