“After she engineered my pardon, no one would ever believe our families weren’t in bed together.” Red capped the tips of his ears, and I curled my fingers into my palm to prevent them from tracing the burn. “I didn’t mean that literally.”
“Of course not,” he replied, an undercurrent swirling through his tone I couldn’t pinpoint.
“Do you think the master would come if I invited him?” An introduction to the man himself was the purpose, after all. “Do you think he’s that bold?”
“I believe he’s that eager.” Linus sat upright, appraising our surroundings. “The Lyceum was in an uproar for weeks over Heloise Marchand’s death at the hands of a sentinel.” He let me absorb the fresh sting of knowing a friend had shot one of my twin cousins dead to spare me before continuing in the same measured tone. “The whole Society is now aware Dame Marchand attempted to reconcile, and the evidence suggests you’re not interested in an alliance. This is his best chance to meet you, present his case, and win you over before the Marchands woo you away from him.”
“Heloise is dead.” I hadn’t known her, but she was family. The way she died? That was the worst part. Knowing I had relatives out there and having them prove I was a commodity and not a person to them. No wonder Mom cut them out of her life before they ruined mine. “I don’t see the Marchands renewing their offer.”
“You’re a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Grier.” Linus sounded pained to remind me. “Heloise might have died on your property, but you didn’t pull the trigger. That gives them room to maneuver as far as public opinion goes.”
Lucky for me, I had Linus to back my version of events. Otherwise, Taz might not have walked out of the Lyceum except in chains. As it was, thanks to Boaz, she had been scooped up at the curb and placed into the Society’s version of the Witness Protection Program to keep her safe from Marchand retribution.
“I hate balls.” I slumped in my seat. “I hate all this.”
“Maud loved you too much.” He dipped his chin. “She shielded you from the reality of your station.”
The slap to my pride made me want to hit back. “That’s what mothers do.”
For better or worse, Maud had followed Mom’s example to the letter.
“Not all mothers have that luxury,” he said softly.
Not even my own. I could no longer recall the exact timbre of Mom’s voice or the way she smelled or the stories she read me at night. But I remembered her telling me she loved me enough for two parents.
A sigh moved through my chest, still tender from the run-in with Boaz. “That was low of me.”
Time and drugs and abuse, both physical and mental, had left me with soup for brains.
At rock bottom, sometimes even now, I wondered if I had invented the idyllic childhood with Maud and Amelie and Boaz. In Atramentous, I replayed the happiest memories until they frayed around the edges, taking on a worn and faded quality.
How much of what I accepted as the truth had been stitched together with a thread of reality to hold me together one more night? How much of my past had been overwritten by a desperate mind shoved past its breaking point? How much had I lost? And would I ever recall it in more than fits and spurts?
“I envied you,” he confided. “Maud adored you. She would have done anything to protect you.”
Ignorance wasn’t bliss from where I sat. “Look where that approach landed me.”
He shook his head like I still wasn’t getting it. “I wished she were my mother.”
The stark admission cut me to the bone. Until I entered the picture, he had been a double heir. Lawson and Woolworth. All I owned had once been promised to him. “She loved you too. So much. She was so proud.”
Linus was the gold standard, one I could never meet. She loved me, but she respected him.
He bowed his head, auburn strands gliding forward to conceal his face.
“Your mom loves you too.” Unable to resist, I raked my fingers through his hair and found the strands as cold and smooth as silk. “She lights up when you enter the room. You can’t fake that.”
“She does,” he agreed, flicking his gaze up to mine, “but power is her first and greatest love.”
Heartbroken to agree with him, I pulled on a grumpy face and nudged us toward a safer topic.
“I’ll throw the stupid ball,” I grumbled with a side order of extra pout. “On one condition.”
A crease gathered across his forehead. “I’m listening.”
“The first dance is you and me.” If I had to suffer through getting dolled up and smiling until my cheeks split, then so did he. “I’ll also go ahead and reserve the last one. I’ll be ready to cry uncle at that point, and I need someone to hold me accountable until the final guest leaves.”
A flush crept up his neck. “I don’t really…”
“We also have to work out a secret code.” The one Maud and I used when she was desperate to escape her sycophants might work. “That way if one of us needs rescuing from an obnoxious partner, the other will know to save them. How about tugging an earlobe? Classic move, really.”
He cleared his throat. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather—?”
“You’re good at everything. Literally everything. You can’t tell me you’re a bad dancer.” We had the same instructor, though we didn’t share classes. He was two levels ahead of me. “Am I the problem?” His earlier warning rang in my head. This ball would declare my allegiances, not his. I had counted him in my number without asking. “I assumed you would…” be in my corner, “…attend.” I mashed my lips together. “You don’t have to go with me. You don’t have to go at all.” Now it sounded like I didn’t want him there. “You could escort your mother or maybe your…”
“He doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Hood supplied helpfully. “I’ve worked at the Faraday for ten years, since before he moved in, and he never brought anyone home.” His eyes held mine in the rearview mirror. “Until you.”
Pleasure curled through my chest at the confirmation. “He told me.”
He also mentioned how outing one of his lovers to his mother would be the highlight of the Faraday concierge’s career. One of his lovers. As in there were or had been several.
Chastity was not a requirement for my friendship, obviously, but hearing he had lady friends shriveled my lady bits. I expected better from him, I realized. And better, thanks to Boaz, meant celibate. An impossible standard when men their age, with their looks and their resources, weren’t virgins. Heck, I wouldn’t still be one if given half a chance. So why did it gnaw at me each time I was reminded Linus had a life before he was thrust into mine?
“The first dance is symbolic.” Linus pitched his voice low. “You would be choosing me above all others. Given the location, people would talk. They would think you and I…” his throat worked when he swallowed, “…were more than what we are.”
A ball as a precursor to an engagement party was what he meant. A testing of the waters prior to the big announcement. A stigma that would brand me as his when our living arrangements had already set tongues wagging.
“I don’t care.” I squared my shoulders. “I am choosing you above all others. You’re my friend, and I want you with me.”
Hood released a shrill whistle from between his teeth as he twisted forward.
“I care.” Linus reached for the door. “Find someone else for the first dance.” He cranked it open. “You can have as many other dances as you want, but not that one.”
This time when he climbed out, he didn’t wait for me but started the walk up to the house alone.
“Don’t push the dance,” Hood advised without turning. “Clearly it means something different to him than it does to you. Until you’re on the same page, you ought to let it go.”
“Therapist and chauffeur.” I made a face at him. “How did I get so lucky?”
“You’re as good as pack while you’re under our protection.” A grin dented his cheeks. “That means you receive the benefit of our collective wisdom.”
The line might have worked on me if I hadn’t met Hood at the Faraday, but I had, and I saw how he interacted with guests back when that’s all I had been to him. The way he treated me these days made me think of how he joked with his mate and brother-in-law. In many ways, the Kinase pack had adopted me, and it was more than being their client. Linus had that pleasure for years prior to me and had warned me off the watchmen. Had the pack been all cuddles and comradery, I doubt he would have worried so much when Hood took a specific interest in me.
Questions about the woman I reminded him of, the one he hadn’t been able to save, lingered in the back of my mind. He told me my scent reminded him of her, but as much as I wanted to ask, the answer was a sore spot between him and his packmates I didn’t want to risk prodding until I knew them each better. And the inkling I experienced at the reminder the gwyllgi had worked for vampires was still brewing.
There were also other potential NDAs to consider. Asking them outright would likely get me nowhere. I would have to be sneaky. “Will you come to the ball?”
Scratching his ear, he squinted at me. “Are you asking in an official capacity?”
“Lethe might enjoy one last glam evening before—” I clamped my mouth shut before I betrayed Midas’s trust, “—things get tense.” I had almost insinuated she might want to dress up before her baby bump turned noticeable. “They’re bound to get worse after I open official channels with the master, right?”
“I’ll ask.” A silly little grin curved his lips, and I wondered if his thoughts had traveled the same path as mine for different reasons. “It’s been too long since she had an excuse to go all out, and an official invite provides us with the perfect cover for mingling with your guests.”