What bothered me most about Sam’s “advice” was the part about figuring out my mission. I’d done that, hadn’t I? Charlie was my mission. Keeping her safe, keeping her alive, that was all that mattered. So what was Sam talking about? Something else I was supposed to be doing at the same time? But then why would John be involved?
I eyed the couch, but I was out of throw pillows to chuck. There was nothing to do but get up and get dressed for work.
The rest of the day was blissfully uneventful. I called Quinn’s body shop, and his contact promised they’d have the Jeep as good as new by late afternoon. They would bill Maven directly, and even drop off the Jeep in its usual parking spot behind the coffee shop. I was a little amazed at the speed and service, but for all I knew Maven had pressed everyone at the garage to give her special treatment.
I had an afternoon shift at the Depot, but business was slow with all the students obsessing over finals, and I got to spend a quiet afternoon restocking shelves and solving simple problems for the cashier. Customer’s coupon won’t scan? No problem. Give me bad coupons over snake monsters and paternity issues any day.
In between customers and restocking, I couldn’t stop thinking about Emil’s visit. Even setting aside whatever Sam had been trying to tell me, I had no idea what our biological father wanted from me. If his goal had been to let me know he wasn’t a deadbeat who’d abandoned Sam and me, the message had been received. But what if he wanted a relationship? How would that even work? I’d heard of adopted kids who found their biological parents (or vice versa) but those stories were always about children or petulant teenagers, not witches in their thirties. If Emil wanted to spend time with me on holidays or . . . I don’t know, go to baseball games or something, I had no idea how to handle that.
Besides, I had a family. A really great family. And two jobs, and a vampire boyfriend. Even if I wanted to spend time with Emil, where would he fit into all of that? I could just picture my mother’s crestfallen face if I told her I wanted to start prioritizing time with the biological father I’d just met.
Sam’s voice spoke up in the back of my mind. I never knew if this was her actual spirit talking or my subconscious’s interpretation of what she would say, but I’d gotten used to it. Setting aside what he wants from you, what do you want from him?
That was the problem, wasn’t it? I had no idea.
The sun wouldn’t set until nearly eight, so I had time to kill after my shift ended at five. I had originally planned to go home and work out before getting ready for date night, but while I was still brooding at the Depot I got a whole series of silly texts from my cousins Anna and Elise. They were at the Pearl Street pedestrian mall, getting manicures at Ten20 and shopping for a birthday present for Elise’s girlfriend Natalie. Now they were demanding that I join them for dinner. They sent increasingly silly threats—one involved breaking into my house and putting my underwear in the freezer—until I had to text my surrender. Vampires can’t eat anything other than blood and a few sips of water, so I couldn’t imagine Quinn taking me out to dinner for date night. I might as well eat. Smiling, I turned the car toward downtown.
Only a year earlier, I would have blown off my cousins, certain that they were just throwing me a pity invite. I’d felt that way a lot in the months after Sam’s death—not just grief-stricken, but rudderless and resentful. The army had spit me out, Sam was gone, and I was an empty shell. I just assumed any request for my presence was made out of guilt or obligation. Who would actually want to spend time with someone who so obviously couldn’t get her shit together?
Really, it was Charlie who had saved me. Keeping her safe from the Old World had given me something to focus on, and then I’d been pulled into this whole other life. Quinn and the Pellars and Maven and the other vampires, a big new world of complications.
Was I better off? That, I couldn’t answer. But I did know that I could go enjoy my cousins tonight, when a year ago I couldn’t.
I found a metered parking spot downtown and walked through the pedestrian mall to meet Anna and Elise. It was a beautiful spring evening, and there were plenty of people out strolling the shopping district. I paused for a moment to smile at the kids climbing on the big stone-and-metal animal sculptures near the toy store. I’d brought Charlie here back in March. She’d clambered up and down the statues for over an hour, and I’d had to bribe her with ice cream when it was time to go. God, I missed her.
Something in my peripheral vision sent up a red flag in my mind. I twisted my head, expecting to see someone staring at me. Nothing. I scanned the crowd of shoppers, but no one froze or quickly turned away. So why did I suddenly have that familiar panicky feeling that there was a target on my back? I stayed there for a long time, scanning the crowd with heightened awareness, but I didn’t see anything that could explain my sudden paranoia. It was maddening, but eventually I had to just move on.
The moment of panic made me late, and Elise and Anna were waiting for me outside Illegal Pete’s, a burrito joint right on Pearl Street. Anna was twenty-seven and just finishing up a graduate degree. She had a big heart and had spontaneously developed a New Age streak as a teenager. Elise, on the other hand, was a uniformed officer with Boulder PD and my closest cousin in age and temperament. Both of them had the Luther biological trademarks of dark brown eyes and honey-blonde hair, although Elise’s was cut short and Anna’s flowed down her back. They looked like they could be sisters, and I felt a stab of displacement.