“I know what you’re doing,” Gabrielle whispered. “I’m doing the same thing. I won’t change my mind, Gary. I choose you. Every time, I choose you. It will always be you.”
He didn’t answer. He was a Daratrazanoff and he felt the heavy responsibility of his bloodline. He had a duty to the prince, to his people. He was a shield now. A protector of his people. He had all the power and skills, but he also had the brain he’d been born with. He knew he was a huge resource to the Carpathians, and Mikhail and Gregori recognized him as such.
Gabrielle was correct when she said the prince and Gregori would discourage any romance between them. Still, he also knew, when he dropped from vivid, real emotion to absolute nothing at all, they would try to cushion that fall. It would be brutal. He was intelligent enough to know why the Carpathians’ emotions faded over time and why, when they were restored and their lifemate was taken from them, that abrupt nothingness sent them into a dangerous killing frenzy known as the thrall.
He wouldn’t endanger Gabrielle. He had to find out when it would happen. How much time he had. If he had fifty years, he would take those years and give them to her. If he didn’t have at least that many, he would have to give her up. She wouldn’t forgive him. That would be the price he would have to pay to keep her safe. She would always feel as if he abandoned her. Rejected her.
“Think about it, Gabrielle. I’ll do some research and see what we’re looking at. We’ll talk in a few days.”
She shook her head, clinging to him. “If I let you go now, I’ll lose you. Make love to me. Give me that.”
Sheer torture. He felt as if his heart was being ripped out of his body. “Honey, if I touch you, I will never have the strength to walk away. I think you know that. We have to know what we’re getting into before we make a decision.”
She tore herself out of his arms. “You’ve already made up your mind. God. I hate them. I hate what I am. I hate that I have to live my life according to their rules. That some man I don’t know or love can dictate to me what I can or can’t have. I don’t know if he even exists and he’s ruling my life.”
She turned and ran away from him, charging through the field of Night Star flowers. The stalks bent toward her, as if bowing as she passed, and then sprang back up. Gary watched her flee, hearing her weep as she raced down the mountain, her gown flowing behind her. He wept with her, his tears bloodred, dropping on the petals of the flowers surrounding him. Even as he looked at the droplets, the red faded to a dull gray.
Gary blinked rapidly to clear his vision. With Gabrielle’s departure, all color was gone from his life. She’d taken it with her. He stood there a long time. Minutes. Hours. He didn’t know. Staying still. Knowing if he moved, he might shatter. She took her bright light and left him in darkness.
“Gary.”
He closed his eyes. The voice held too much compassion. Mikhail Dubrinsky, prince of the Carpathian people, stood to one side of him. Gregori was on the other. Guarding. Watching over him. To protect the others, or defend him? He didn’t know, but Gabrielle must have returned while he stood alone and they had come to him.
“You knew.” It was an accusation.
“I suspected,” Mikhail corrected. “I hoped, for your sake. I feel the love you have for her. It is very strong. I wanted it to work out, but the chances were . . .”
“Zero,” Gary said, tasting bitterness. “She couldn’t have held the other half of my soul, nor could I hold hers. I had hoped she wasn’t another man’s lifemate. That she was psychic, but that she wasn’t a lifemate. Not all psychic women are. When she was converted, I held on to that. I didn’t make a move, waiting for another to claim her. They didn’t. She was mine. She belonged to me.”
“Gary,” Gregori said, his voice gentle. “I’m sorry.”
“I gutted her. She’s so hurt.”
“She’ll come to terms with it,” Mikhail said.
For the first time Gary looked at the prince, met his eyes. He knew there was fury in his gaze, but Mikhail didn’t flinch. “She was gutted. I did that to her. You both knew I would lose my ability to see in color immediately. You should have warned me.”
He was looking directly at Mikhail so he saw the shock on the prince’s face. Mikhail looked to Gregori. Gary followed his gaze. Gregori looked just as shocked.
“You’ve lost color?” Gregori asked.
Gary nodded. The sense of betrayal faded with the shock on their faces. “Yes. Tonight. Nearly all at once. When she left, she took the last of the color with her.”
“That isn’t good,” Gregori said. “If it happened to you, it will happen to the others as well. Not Zev. He has his lifemate. But Luiz. And he’s a De La Cruz. That’s going to be brutal.”
“How long before I lose my emotions?” Gary asked.
Gregori’s gaze sharpened. “Do not even think about living with Gabrielle, Gary. Do you have any idea how dangerous that would be?”
“That’s for us to decide. I want to know how long I’ve got.”
“Gary,” Mikhail said, turning Gary’s attention back to him. “We had no idea you would lose your ability to see in color, at least not for a couple of hundred years. We should have known better. You have the blood, the memories and experience of the ancients. Of course you would also have the loss of emotion and color as so many of them had no lifemate and neither do you.”