The dream flashed through my mind.
He’d drink me to death.
“That’s it,” he said, clearly seeing that I understood. He turned to the Oracle. “The only way to stop this is for me to drain her, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Her blood heals you. All of her blood will return your immortality.”
Fear scrabbled inside me like an animal in a cage. I desperately reached for solutions. “What if he just drinks a little, but more often? Daily or weekly? Would that work?”
11
Grey
My heartbeat thundered in my head as I stared at Carrow.
She was willing to let me drink from her at regular intervals to keep my miserable life. The beast inside me roared, wanting to claw its way to the surface.
Survive.
I swallowed hard, clenching my fists. If we tried that, the beast would win. I could still taste her blood on my tongue. Still feel the warmth of her beneath me, hear her moans in my ear. If we tried that again, I would never stop. The beast would rise. It wouldn’t stop at small amounts meant to keep me mortal. It would want it all—it would want immortality.
“No.” I tried to keep my voice gentle.
Instead, I wanted to rage. This wasn’t how anything was supposed to happen. I’d been in control for so long, and suddenly,
it was all slipping away.
I looked at the Oracle. “How long do I have, precisely?”
“Like I said…three weeks? A month? Time is calling you, and it will be too strong to resist soon. If an injury doesn’t take you first.”
“This is crazy.” Carrow strode away, then back, pacing with restless energy. “Fate has decreed that we are meant to be together, but it would tear us apart. No happily ever after, no matter what.”
“You know that would never happen, anyway,” I said.
She jerked back, a hurt expression crossing her face, and self-loathing streaked through me. “What? I’m not good enough for you? You don’t care for me at all?”
The beast inside me roared, this time with anger. It wanted her as much as I did, and that was the problem.
“I have a solution,” Carrow said. “Yet you’re ignoring it. My blood heals you. Therefore, it can keep you alive if you only take a little.”
“It won’t work, dear,” the Oracle said. “The beast inside him would never stop. If he gets a taste of you, it is all over.”
“I don’t believe that,” she said.
“Well, you should.” My voice was hard. “For some insane reason, you believe that I’m a good person. But there are parts of me that you do not know.”
She scowled. “It feels like you're giving up.”
“I’m not. If there is a way to stop this, I’ll find it.” Until I’d met Carrow, I might not have even fought my fate.
Bloody hell, I was lying to myself. Of course I’d have fought it. I was an animal and always had been. Going easily into that good night would never be in my nature, even if I didn’t much like my present.
With Carrow, I very much liked my present.
More than liked it, in fact. Going to hell after finding her? It’d be worse than torture.
“I’ll be leaving.” The Oracle drifted away, becoming more transparent.
“If you discover anything, let me know,” I said. “Anything at all.”
She nodded and disappeared.
Carrow stared at me, her face white. “Why are you being so stubborn?”
I moved toward her, unable to help myself. Gently, I gripped her arms. “You don’t understand the thing inside me. The monster that I truly am.”
“You have control.”
“I do, yes. Until I taste your blood. Last time, it took everything I had to stop. And now that the beast senses our end…it will fight harder.”
“You speak of it as if it’s not yourself.”
“I shouldn’t. Because it is me.” I shook my head, images floating in front of my mind. “The things I did in my past…”
“That was a long time ago. Hundreds of years ago, when you were still a victim of the blood lust that takes new vampires.”
“It is no excuse. And the beast…that’s my way of thinking of the actions as not my own. Yet they were.”
“You’re different now.”
“Maybe, but not different enough.” My gaze traced her features. I wanted to kiss her. Desperately. “You should go.”
“No.”
“It’s safer.” I drew her scent into my lungs, unable to help myself. “Aren’t you afraid?”
“Never.” Sadness flickered in her eyes. “Our plan to not fall for each other was pointless.”
“Fate doesn’t care about our plans, I’m afraid. This wheel is already turning and will continue to turn.”
“Then it doesn’t matter what we do.” She leaned up and kissed me. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pressed against me. Her form was long and lean, softness and strength.
It was the best damned thing I’d ever felt.
I groaned, unable to help myself, and took her in my arms, kissing her as if my life depended on it, careful to keep my fangs in check. I couldn’t taste even a drop of her blood, not with the beast ready to rise at the slightest notice.
“I want you,” she moaned, moving her lips to my neck. She kissed a path down the skin there, sending fire flicking through my veins with every press of her lips.
I tilted my head, giving her better access. When her tongue swiped across my skin, warm and hot, a shudder ran through me.
It’d been years since I’d felt anything this good. Since I’d wanted anything like this.
Only with Carrow.
I ran my hands down her slim waist, pulling her closer to me. Greedily, I gripped her full hips and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around me, pressing her heat against my stomach. Again, I shuddered.
There was no way I could resist this.
“Carrow, I want you.” The words were torn from my throat. “More than anything.”
“Yes.” She kissed me hard. “Yes. Now.”
I carried her toward my bedroom, heart pounding.
If we were going to be damned, then we would have this. It didn’t matter if we fell for each other or not—our fate was determined. So damn it, we would have each other tonight.
I reached the bed and lowered her down, trying to treat her as delicately as she deserved. She fisted my shirt, pulling me on top of her.
Her thighs were parted, and I fit perfectly between them. She moaned and arched her back, running her hands over my shoulders and down to my waist.
I yanked my shirt over my head, desperate to feel her hands on my bare skin. Desperate to touch every part of her. Quickly, she tugged her shirt off, taking with it the simple bra beneath.
My gaze riveted to her breasts. “Beautiful.”
She ran her hands over my shoulders, pulling me closer against her. My hips fit perfectly in the V between her legs, and she began to move against me, seeking friction. The pleasure made my breath catch in my throat. I gripped her thighs, drawing away.
In a few swift movements, I had her jeans off. Then her underwear. The sight of her took my breath. I knelt between her thighs, my knees on the floor, and
looked up at her. “May I?”
Eyes wide, she nodded, her golden hair glinting in the light.
I bent my head to her, tasting her. A groan rumbled up through my chest, impossible to stop. Her taste and scent surrounded me, and I fell into it.
Heaven.
It wasn’t long until she was shuddering beneath me, crying out in a way that made me desperate to sink inside of her.
She pulled at my shoulders. “Now, Grey. Please, now.”
I rose, divesting myself of the rest of my clothing as she watched. She dragged me on top of her, the heat of her skin making me dizzy.
A thought tugged, dread uncoiling. “I don’t have protection for you.”
“I’m on birth control.” She wrapped her legs around me, her warmth sending a shudder through me. “Please. Now.”
I hadn’t been with a woman in centuries, so there wasn’t a risk giving Carrow something unsavory.
“Are you sure?” It took everything in me to hold back.
“Yes.” She arched against me, and I groaned.
My resistance crumbled. Her heat and warmth were such a contrast to my cold life, and I’d never wanted anything so badly in all the centuries I’d been alive.
Our bodies joined, and pleasure exploded. It stole through me until there was nothing but the two of us. Together.
Carrow
I woke with the sun on my face and delightfully sore muscles. The bed was empty but not cold. A robe had been laid out for me. I pulled it on, the smooth fabric gliding like water over my skin. It had to be silk.
I found Grey in the living room, a tray of coffee and muffins in front of him.
“Grey,” I began, “about last night—”
He looked up, his icy eyes flashing. “We can’t discuss last night.”
“Um—”
“I can’t, Carrow.”
I blinked at him, confused by the quick about-face. It had been amazing, and he couldn’t even talk about it?
He rose, shoulders tense but eyes soft. As ever, he walked with lethal grace as he approached me. “I will say only this. It was the best night of my miserable existence. But if I can’t have it again—which I can’t, because there is no future in which both of us survive—I do not have the strength to discuss it.”
“Um…” I was completely at a loss for words.
A knock sounded at the door.
The smile he gave me was small but genuine. Sad, too. Then he turned to answer. “That should be Miranda. She’ll have the ingredients we requested.”
He opened the door. As expected, Miranda stood there, along with Eve. Her raven was nowhere to be seen, but she was dressed entirely in dark purple leather that matched her hair.
“Please come in,” Grey said.