I made my way back through the containers to the main gate. In Aedh form, I slipped under the fence, but re-formed in human shape almost immediately. The pounding in my head was far worse the second time around, and I stumbled to the nature strip and lost everything I’d eaten that day.
Then I called a cab and went home.
“Hey, stranger,” Tao said from the kitchen as I slammed the front door shut. “Sounds like you need coffee.”
“I need coffee, sleep, and a shower, and not necessarily in that order.” I headed for my bedroom, stripping my clothes off as I went. “Did the electricians and gas people come to the café today?”
“Yeah. Everything has been checked and cleared. I pulled a few strings to get the council inspector in tomorrow, so we should be able to reopen on Friday.”
“Fantastic.”
I kicked off my shoes as I entered my room, then noticed a pale blue envelope sitting on my bed. It didn’t appear to be a bill of any sort, and while the address was typed, there was no return address on either the front or the back of the envelope. I raised it to my nose and sniffed, but couldn’t smell anything more than crisp paper, ink, and the faintest wisp of exotic wood and oriental spices—Tao’s scent. Whoever had handled this envelope before him had done so very carefully.
I half wondered if this was yet another letter from my father and flipped it over, sliding a nail under the rim to open it.
The sheet inside was the same blue color as the envelope. Obviously, whoever sent it liked matching stationery.
I tugged the sheet out and unfolded it. And discovered it wasn’t a letter, but rather a warning.
I know where you live, it said.
And I know what protects you.
Chapter 10
For a minute, I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Then fear set in and I began to shake so badly that my legs wouldn’t support me and I dropped onto the bed.
He knew where I lived!
Fuck, oh f**k.
I stared at the letter for several more minutes, then, without warning, started to cry.
Fiercely.
Uncontrollably.
The sobs were so bad my whole body shook with them and though I was gulping down air like a fish, it caught in my throat and made it even harder to breathe.
Tao was suddenly on his knees in front of me. He wrapped his arms around my body, making soothing noises low in his throat as he pulled me onto his lap and rocked me as gently as a father would a terrified child. It felt like a furnace had wrapped itself around me, and it went a long way toward chasing away the chill that had enveloped my body.
But the tears continued to fall. In anger, in fear, and in frustration. For everything that had happened, for everything I’d lost, for all those who had died because of me, and for all those who might yet die because of me.
Because I was sick of monsters chasing me and sick of people using me.
And because I knew, no matter what, there was no going back. This path, this journey, was leading me inexorably into darkness, and I knew with every fiber of my being it was a darkness from which I would not escape.
My mother had sensed this destiny long, long ago. Had, in fact, told Aunt Riley when I was still a child that I would be involved with angels and demons and god knows what else, and she hadn’t been sure if that involvement would be for the side of good, or for evil. She’d never actually said anything to me, of course, but I’d known. She’d had her secrets, but this was one I’d uncovered fairly young—too young to understand the true depth and cost of such darkness.
I understood it now.
Understood, and feared it.
I’m not sure how long we stayed like that, but it was certainly long enough that Tao’s legs had to be cramping. He never said anything, just continued to hold me long after the tears had stopped falling. Eventually, I lifted my head from his shoulder and said, “You wouldn’t have a tissue on you, would you?”
“No, but I can produce a handy sleeve.”
He offered me his left arm. I made an odd sound that was caught between a laugh and a sob. “Thanks, but it’s too nice a sweater to ruin with snot.”
“Snot can be washed off.” He gently thumbed away a remaining tear, then placed his hands on my h*ps and lifted me onto the bed. “Now, do you want to tell me what that was all about?”
“It was this.”
I handed him the letter. He read it quickly, then met my gaze again, his expression curious. “Who is it from? It doesn’t seem the sort of thing the Raziq or your father would send, and they’re the only crazy people currently in your life, aren’t they?”
“Well, there’s Hunter and the vampire council, but this isn’t from them. It’s from someone who brings a very fresh approach to the business of being insane.”
“Well, you do seem to attract them.” Amusement ran through his voice, but there was concern in his eyes.
“Yeah, I do.” I rose, stepped past his legs, and walked around the bed to grab a tissue, blowing my nose before adding, “I met this one on the astral plane. Apparently he’s been killing people and taunting the Directorate for a week, but now he’s decided to turn his attention to me. Why, I have no idea.”
“The insane rarely need a good reason to do anything.” He studied the note for a moment, then threw it on the bed and rose. “Have your shower and then pack. We’re getting out of here.”
“Why? I mean, this place is more secure than just about anywhere.”
But even as I said that, I remembered that this foe could astral-travel and was apparently able to interact with people on both the plane and the real world while in that astral state.
And though we had the latest in security gadgets in our apartment as well as wards designed specifically to keep Aedh out, it wouldn’t keep out a human in astral form.
He knew where I lived.
All he had to do was wait until I was asleep and vulnerable. And because Azriel couldn’t interact with the astral plane, he wouldn’t be able to stop him.
Azriel.
I wanted the comfort of his presence so badly it hurt, and it was rather surprising that he hadn’t appeared, given the stress I’d been under. But then, he was a man fighting for control and warring against need while trying to do the job he’d been sent here to do. And as our all-too-brief kiss had proved, it was a war he was losing.
And while part of me did want him to lose that particular battle, I knew in the long run it wasn’t for the best. Whatever my fate might be, whatever my future might entail, it wouldn’t involve Azriel. It couldn’t. He was reaper, I was a half-breed werewolf-Aedh. We were two very different species physiologically, if not emotionally.
Even if, right at this point in time, what we both secretly hungered for was exactly the same thing.
“This place might be secure,” Tao said, dragging me out of my thoughts, “but if this guy is as bad as you say, then we must go somewhere he doesn’t know about. Stane’s.”
I frowned. “But I don’t want to drag Stane into danger—”
Tao cut me off with a snort. “Oh, trust me, Stane is more than able to take care of himself. Besides, his place is almost as well protected as this apartment, especially with the wards Ilianna gave him still online.”
I had forgotten about those, though I doubted that even wards designed to keep demons out would deter astral travelers. “But that doesn’t mean we should risk—”
Tao touched a finger to my lips. “No arguments. I was going to Stane’s for the night, anyway, as it’s game night and we’ve planned to shoot the shit out of people online. So, get ready while I go ring Ilianna.”
He walked out. I gave in to the inevitable and went to have my shower, lingering long enough to get prune skin. Once dressed, I packed several days’ worth of clothing and other necessities, then slung the bag over my shoulder and headed out.
“Ilianna’s going to stay at Mirri’s. She’s not happy about it, though.”
Mirri lived in an apartment building in Carlton, and while it was well enough protected magically, there were apartments both above and below Mirri’s and they weren’t well soundproofed. Ilianna hated the sensation of so many people surrounding her, as well as the fact that you could hear every little movement in the other apartments.
“I’ll ply her with her favorite ice cream when we all return home,” I said. “That’ll ease the grumpiness.”
“You’d better make it a couple of tubs, then.” He ushered me out, then set all the various locks and alarms. “Oh, and she said to tell you that the Brindle witches haven’t noticed any unusual activity along the ley lines, which means the magic is being contained.”
“Did she say if they were going to follow up the possibility of containment?”
“No.” He opened the car door and ushered me in. “But you’d think they would. I mean, they wouldn’t want anyone controlling that sort of magic, would they?”
“I wouldn’t think so.” But then, when it came to the Brindle witches, who really knew what they would or wouldn’t want? Certainly some of their actions so far had surprised the hell out of me.
Stane greeted us with a cheerful hello and several boxes of pizza. He kissed my cheeks, then waved his free hand toward his bedroom. “It’s all yours. I’ve even changed the sheets.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I mean, you don’t use the thing, do you?”
He grinned. “I do tend to sleep on one of the couches, granted, but that doesn’t mean the sheets were clean. I don’t dust and it was thick on the bed.”
I laughed, then rose on my toes and kissed his cheeks. “Thank you. And enjoy your pizza and online destruction.”
“What, you’re not going to join us?”
I shook my head. “Right now, all I really want is to sleep.”
“We’ll try to keep the noise down.” Tao squeezed my arm gently, his touch light but comforting. “Yell if you need anything.”