“You can’t know all that.”
“I feel their blood calling to mine. If you are still and you know what to look for in your mind, you will feel it as well. When they are both fed, we will first work on the shield in your mind to prevent your father or brothers from harming you and then together, we will do the same in theirs.”
Julija wasn’t certain what to think. Could it be true that she was far more Carpathian than mage? She was extremely good at casting illusions. “Isai,” she said in protest.
“Think about what you do and how fast you became good at it. Your father is not going to let on to you that you hold the power of both the high mage and Dragonseeker. He keeps you in line with pain because he has no other way. You have dared to break away from him and he has to get you back. You are too valuable to them.”
Calmly he instructed the male cat to stop drinking from his wrist. The cat snarled at him but backed up to allow the female to take his place.
“Let me, Isai. You’ll be too weak for us to build shields or fight enemies. We still have to find the book and get it somewhere safe.”
“They both need to recognize that I am head of the family. I will give the orders to them the same as you do. If we keep these animals alive, they have to recognize the authority and obey all laws of the Carpathian people. Turning animals is strictly forbidden, although I have heard that was done with wolves, and now, clearly with these cats as well.”
She wasn’t certain how to feel when he made himself head of the family, but the fact that turning an animal was against the laws of the Carpathian people and he hadn’t killed the two cats outright made her like him even more. On some level, she knew that if he took these cats under his protection, he would fight to the death for them.
“What happened to the leopards, Isai? The ones that slept above you and most likely hindered your ability to hide from your enemies.”
He gave her another one of those priceless grins. It was faint, but amusement climbed into his eyes, lighting them, turning them into those gleaming jewels that managed to send a wealth of butterflies winging their way through her stomach. He reached out almost lazily and scratched the top of Belle’s head.
“They lived out their lives and I buried the last one right before I lost my emotions. They stayed with me for years and yes, they did give away my resting places and mostly hindered my ability to use flight, but it was worth it.” Again, he was gentle in pulling his wrist from the cat.
Julija liked watching his fingers stroke the cat’s fur. She found herself mesmerized by the way he murmured softly and reassuringly to the animals.
“You do have a few good traits, lifemate,” she said, trying to sound casual. She was opening a can of worms and she knew it. She wasn’t certain she could ever accept him and his authority. She had been on her own and there was no way she would ever be able to make herself into a “yes” woman. She liked who she was, other than coming from her murderous family. She laughed at that thought.
He quirked an eyebrow, and she decided to be honest.
“I was just thinking that I like who I am right now. It took me a long time to come to terms with who I am, but then I realized I liked myself in spite of coming from a murderous family. They are not nice people and introducing them to you won’t go very smoothly.”
His lips did that fascinating quirk that gave away that he was feeling amused. She couldn’t help but stare in fascination at the way just that curve to his mouth softened the harsh lines in his face.
“You are just buttering me up so I will tell you what my tattoo says.” He held out his hand and pulled her to her feet, once more waving his hand toward the center of the chamber so the two chairs were back. “It will not happen . . .”
Her heart dropped.
“Yet. Go sit in one of the chairs and call the cats to you. I will connect with you first and help you build an impenetrable shield so Anatolie cannot get in your head. You will have to give your consent, little mage, to allow me into your mind. I will not force you.”
“This is going to weaken you.” She turned away from him quickly, hurrying across the chamber to the comfortable chairs. She didn’t want to look at him because she wasn’t certain how she felt about letting him into her mind. She was very, very confused when it came to the entire lifemate custom.
She was his lifemate. She was certain she was. The pull between them was too strong. It was just that she had lost her ability to trust and he would see . . . She closed her eyes as she sank into the luxury of the chair. He would see into her past. She didn’t want to go there. Not ever. She couldn’t face that particular betrayal, nor did she want Isai to see how naïve and silly she’d been. How deeply her humiliation had gone.
“Julija?”
Could his voice be any more patient? Any gentler? Why couldn’t he sound like the dictator from hell? She tried to conjure up the feel of his hand hitting her bottom, but even that eluded her when his voice stroked over her skin like a velvet rasp.
She touched her tongue to her lips. “There are things in my past I’m ashamed of. If I open my mind to yours and give my permission, you can see the things I don’t want to remember or think about ever again.”
“I can erase these memories from your mind.”
Her gaze jumped to his. She only saw his compassion. There wasn’t morbid curiosity. She couldn’t imagine him taunting her with her stupidity. She couldn’t stop the little shake of her head. “You would still remember.”
“I would not care.”
“How could you not?”
“You still do not entirely understand the concept of lifemates, Julija. I would protect you from anything, including these memories that make you sad. Right now, the most important thing to do is protect you from your father. He is bound to strike again soon.”
“When my brothers get close to this place, he’ll do so then to distract me.”
“Then let me help you, sívamet, before he strikes at you.”
Julija had to make up her mind immediately. Either she trusted him, or she didn’t. Isai was pale after giving both cats blood. He’d been careful not to take too much of hers because he didn’t want her weak. He needed to feed. It would be easy enough to find a camper and then return to her, but she knew he wouldn’t until all of them were protected.
“Will I be able to see into your mind?” Her heart beat far too fast and for the first time since she was a young child, she couldn’t seem to command it to a steady rhythm.
He heard, of course. He stepped close to the chair, in between the two cats, and very gently used his hands on the inside of her thighs to open them to him. He knelt down between her legs and suddenly, fear and apprehension mixed with erotic hunger and a sense of urgency.
He took her hand and pressed it to his chest over his heart. “Feel that. Let your heart follow the beat of mine. Breathe with me.”
His eyes held hers captive and she found air moving through her lungs in time to his. Her heart found the exact rhythm of his and beat simultaneously. She had no idea what to expect, but it wasn’t his mind pouring slowly into hers. Nothing had ever felt so intimate. Nothing had ever been so sensual. He found places in her mind, those torn, ugly memories that she couldn’t fix in herself and somehow, he just filled those cracks, the shredded places that kept her apart from everyone else.
He didn’t feel in the least triumphant, but more a part of her. More as if he wholly belonged right there. Once he was in her mind, she knew it would be difficult to be alone again.
He had left his mark on you. A mage mark, not a sliver of himself. He cannot see through your eyes, but he can reach for this mark. It is uniquely his.
Alarms went off in her head. Don’t try to get rid of it. He will know.
Kislány hän ku meke sarnaakmet minan, I have been dealing with mages from nearly the time I was born. I am well aware that your father will eventually strike at us. First, we will build your shield so when I remove his mark, he cannot retaliate.
Isai, Anatolie is a very powerful mage. In his own right, he might actually equal Xavier in power. He will not tolerate interference. I had no idea he had put his mark on me. He’ll find out about you.
You are not thinking straight. He has taught you to fear him. He already knows about me. The cat returned to your brothers with my blood in its claws.
That was on her. She jammed her fist into her mouth and tried not to rock back and forth like a child. Fear of Anatolie often did that to her, although she’d always kept her terror private and didn’t allow it to stop her from her plans to break away. By choosing not to try to kill the shadow cat, she had put Isai directly into Anatolie’s path.
He has your blood. Do you know what a mage can do with someone’s blood? The thought was terrifying to her.
Yes. Work with me. You are of that lineage, too, Julija.
She knew he could see the chaos and fear in her mind. The cats sensed it and became mere shadows, slinking through the chamber, red eyes gleaming as they tried to ferret out the threat.
You said yourself I am mostly Carpathian.
That does not make you less, sívamet, it makes you more. You are the best of both worlds. You hold the power of both. You do not need me to do this for you or even with you, but you have me, and I am willing to be your protector.
She pressed her lips together and signaled for Belle and Blue to return to her. She didn’t want them to become so agitated that they struck out in fear or aggression.
I would much rather we work together. She knew he was an ancient and a Carpathian male. It was ingrained in them to protect their women and children at all times. She had been raised mage and she would always want to stand by his side to aid in the way she could. She was very aware he could see that in her mind. Another strike against her with a man born and bred centuries earlier in a culture where the men took care of their women.
Soft amusement slid into her mind. That was the ideal in a man’s mind, but all does not go the way of the male. Some women aided their partners.