No one would remember that he’d taken a job at the local movie theater when her father had broken his leg and couldn’t work as a carpenter and they’d needed to pay bills. Or that he’d gotten up on Saturday mornings and worked in the soup kitchen to give meals to the homeless. So many memories. So many good times.
He would never be remembered as an incredible athlete, or for all the trophies he’d earned for the dojo where the family had trained. The football he’d played, so successful as a receiver he’d helped bring their high school to victory over and over.
He would forever be remembered as a mass murderer. He was her beloved brother, and he had killed everyone she’d had in her life. Everyone she’d loved in her life. He’d left her with nothing, and no amount of counseling would make it right. No amount of counseling could change what had happened. No amount of meditation would ever give her answers.
She straightened slowly, tears blurring her vision as she looked up at the stars. No amount of tears was ever going to make her heart stop hurting. She glanced over her shoulder toward her tent. She’d fled the city and come into the mountains. She was an experienced camper, both in very hot weather and extreme cold. It wasn’t that she planned to stay in the wilderness forever, but she needed to feel whole again.
She was so angry. Angry at her brother. How could he have done such a terrible thing? But he’d been out of his mind. She was angry at his decision to start a drug that had such bad press. He’d known the side effects of taking steroids, yet he’d done so in spite of the risks. He hadn’t been out of his mind when he’d made that choice. Her parents. The moment they’d known, why hadn’t they called her? Why hadn’t they taken the steroids from him, gotten him out of the country if they’d had to? They’d had friends, resources, choices.
She wanted to scream until her throat was torn and no sound would emerge. Until it was raw and bloody, just like the bodies of her family and friends. She’d done just that on some nights when the nightmares came and all she saw was a river of blood. Where had her friends gone? All the students she’d trained with from the time she was a toddler running around in the dojo with her mother and father—where were they? Somehow, she was tainted by what her brother had done. They smiled and said how sorry they were, but they refused to come near her. It was the same with high school and college friends. And then there were the reporters.
Sívamet. Come back to me. The tent is as refreshing as the outdoors. You are safe in here. I am completely covered. Bring in your sleeping bag and lay it beside me.
She closed her eyes against the need welling up in her—the need of comfort. Someone who didn’t blame her. Someone who had never said a word against her brother. The whispers. The looks. The questions. She hated them. She’d run from them, just gathered her camping gear, took the best tent and as much cash as she could safely carry and gone to the place where she most remembered happy times for her family.
I don’t know how to be okay anymore. I don’t even know who I am. It was such a silly thing to say to a man who might be dying. She slowly turned as realization dawned on her. Three men had attempted to murder Andor Katona in the most brutal and sadistic way possible. Instead of raging, instead of anger, he was calm, even courteous and looking out for her feelings. What kind of man was he?
She had come to the mountains to try to find peace. She had tried meditation several times a day unsuccessfully, but she was determined that she would eventually find her zen. Maybe some of Andor’s peace would rub off on her if she was around him enough. It was worth a try.
Why aren’t you angry with those men? The ones trying to stake you?
They are rather inept at their self-appointed job. I felt sorry for them. They are misguided. Although, now, giving it some thought, believing in vampires, purporting to see one—and of course the undead are the very epitome of evil—mistaking me for one is an insult, but it can be overlooked.
She frowned. She had made up her mind that she’d stay out in the wilderness until she could overcome her anger and learn to take the high road no matter what anyone said or did regarding her family. There were dozens of unlearned lessons she needed, and she’d brought the most important books on meditation and the way to achieve inner peace. Three idiots believing they saw the very epitome of evil in what turned out to be a nice guy had made her anger worse.
She’d been chanting her mantras in singsong, hoping she would eventually achieve the ability to better listen to others. To improve her energy. To allow her to gain peace from her surroundings, no matter what those surroundings were. To have better sensitivity toward others. She had a list, and it took a long time to go through that list as she chanted.
First Andor’s thoughts had disturbed her. She heard him clearly weighing the decision to live or die, and it had smacked too close to home. Had her brother done that? Sat in his room and considered whether or not to shoot his family and friends and then himself? All the chanting in the world hadn’t overcome those thoughts. Then she became aware of the feeling in the air. That stench of fanaticism. Of murder. She’d been furious all over again. This time she could do something about it. This time, those wanting to kill another human being weren’t going to succeed. She’d stopped them, but she hadn’t done so peacefully.
It wasn’t that she minded kicking or punching or hitting the three killers over the head with her saucepot to stop them from killing someone, but she should have been able to do it without anger. She should have been calm, like Andor.
Lorraine. Come inside. I am only peaceful because when you first felt me, I was not feeling any emotion. I was incapable. Come back inside.
She wanted to go inside. She actually didn’t want to be alone anymore—at least when she had the opportunity to be around Andor. He was an intriguing man. She honestly didn’t know how he could survive, but if he was a powerful healer—and she’d read that some could cure all kinds of things—then maybe he really could repair his body.
Give me a minute. She spent a few minutes looking up at the stars. One of the things she loved most about camping was the night. She rarely made a fire, not unless it was very cold or she had to cook something. Mostly she didn’t cook. She didn’t leave anything behind, wanting to leave every site even better than the way she’d found it.
Lorraine walked around the tent, widening her circle, needing to get a feel for this campsite. It was lower than she would have liked, but there was no dragging Andor up the small hill at the base of the taller mountain. Still, it was defensible, although, again, they weren’t near water. She always liked two escape routes and water close just in case of an emergency. Defending a wounded man from idiot vampire killers or the epitome of evil—a vampire, providing there was such a thing—needed careful planning.
Lorraine.
The way he said her name got to her in places she’d forgotten she had. The notes brushed along the walls of her mind intimately. Not just her mind, other places. That brought her up short. What the hell was she thinking? Andor was nearly dead, his body riddled with terrible wounds. She hadn’t even seen him. Not really. She couldn’t look at him with his body covered in blood. She shuddered. The fact that for a moment she went to another place was just wrong.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Great. He was reading her mind. Now she really couldn’t look at him.
This form of communication is very intimate. When you speak to me, I have the same reaction.
She was able to breathe easier. At least she wasn’t alone. So, it’s common to feel this … connection? You’ve had it with others? She honestly didn’t know if she wanted him to answer her in the affirmative or negative.
I have only spoken this way to other males, and I assure you, I do not have the same reaction with them that I have with you. Come back inside.
She wrapped her arms around her middle and took another slow look around their campsite. If we’re attacked again, this place isn’t very defensible.
I will place safeguards to prevent anyone from coming near. Please come back inside. You are staying away because you are upset and you do not want me to witness your tears. I feel them, Lorraine, and I cannot come to you to comfort you.
Was that what she was doing? Hiding? She knew she was. That was what she’d decided to do, at least until she felt she was strong enough to face everyone again. She needed to find that place of peace Andor had found.
How do you do it? How can you be so calm when you might be dying and those men robbed you of your life?
Come inside, lie down and rest. I’ll tell you.
She wanted to know his story, and the pull to be with him was stronger than she first thought and growing in her the more they communicated telepathically. She decided it would be far better to be closer to him physically than talk to him mentally. She was in more danger from the intimate communication. There was just something about the way he filled those empty places inside of her that she couldn’t resist.
3
Are you comfortable?” Andor kept his gaze fixed on Lorraine’s face. She clearly had no idea how beautiful she was, or what danger she was in. She was confident in her skills to protect herself, and he understood why. She had training. She was far better than average when it came to defending herself, man or woman. The problem was, she was dealing with a Carpathian, not a human, and he had no intentions of letting her get away.
“Yes. I should ask you the same thing.” She turned her head to look down at him.
She had finished covering him up to his neck in rich, dark soil. Already he could feel the healing properties working on his wounds. He wasn’t out of the woods, so to speak. He needed more blood and a good healer. He had sent out the call to his brethren, using their common path, not the one used by most Carpathians. Vampires would have been able to hear that one as well.
“I am as comfortable as possible.” He was, as much as he could be under the circumstances, but he needed to shut down his heart and lungs to keep from losing any more blood. He had definitely slowed the leaks, but until he could get a healer there to help him, he was still in trouble.