That actually made me inclined to trust him, but that didn’t solve my problem.
“Can’t you just tell them to knock it off?” Willard asked.
“And give them back their artifact?” I asked.
She hesitated. “That’s probably not a good idea.”
“So we’re stealing it.”
“Confiscating it.”
“In the name of a government and legal system that doesn’t recognize them as citizens or even people?”
“You’ve changed, Val.”
“My therapist brought up some interesting points. And my mom suggested I should try helping magical beings instead of always shooting them.” The goblin looked hopeful, or maybe that was his scheming expression, so I scowled, putting on a tough face, and added, “Sometimes, you have to shoot them. But maybe not always.”
“What do you want from me?” Willard sounded tired.
“Maybe you should come out here. You could host a meeting. Talk to the goblins and figure out… something. Right now, they’re difficult to find, but maybe they would talk to someone who isn’t the Ruin Bringer and who can offer them some solutions.”
“What solutions can I offer them? I’m just a soldier.”
“If nothing else, you can draw them a map to Canada. There are a lot more forests up there.”
Willard snorted. “You could do that.”
“You’re a neutral third party.” Sensing her objection, I added, “If you come out, I’ll tell you about the hot tub.”
“What hot tub?”
“The hot tub where I was naked with Zav.” I pointed the phone at Gondo. “It’s true, isn’t it?”
Gondo’s face screwed up, his bulbous nose twitching. Maybe he didn’t know if he wanted the unknown-to-him Willard to come out. “I’m not certain. I thought it was earnest mating, but then you captured me. You may have been faking.”
“Fake mating?” Willard must have heard him well enough. “How does that work?”
“You’ll have to come here to find out.”
“I’ll see what I can push around tomorrow. You better have some goblins for me to talk to when I get there.”
“I’ll work on it.”
“I’ll bring a swimming suit for this hot tub.”
“You’re not expecting a dragon in it, are you?”
“No, that’s your dragon. But feel free to find me a hunky man.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” I’d mostly seen flabby tourists so far in town, unless she would consider the Yosemite Sam cowboy desirable.
I hung up and looked at Gondo, wondering how I could talk him into bringing the rest of his goblin buddies out to meet with Willard.
“I am hunky.” He puffed out his chest.
“Uh, sure you are.”
“Human females are interesting. They are tall and often their biologically intriguing parts are—” he grinned mischievously and made cupping motions with his hands, “—larger.”
“If you hit on Willard, she’ll smack you into Canada. Which, come to think of it, might solve all our problems.”
“What is Canada?”
Zav speaking telepathically interrupted my answer. He is not flying toward your city. He is going north toward a small town on another lake.
My humor evaporated. Sandpoint?
I do not know the names of your cities. There is a large mountain near it.
Sandpoint. My daughter was taken there. He might be after her. Would he be able to track her by scent?
By magic, perhaps. When he saw her before, he may have used his power to mark her.
Shit, Zav. I’m going to drive up there. If you can keep him from getting her… I’d really appreciate it.
How long will it take you to drive?
I scowled. Even if the roads hadn’t been jacked up, the route wasn’t direct. It would have taken close to two hours. A while, I admitted. But I’ll be there as soon as I can.
Sindari whirled to face the darkness, and Gondo lunged, almost escaping. I sprang and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, raising Chopper threateningly. Dozens and dozens of goblins crept across the trail and into the yard. They were armed with bows and magical artifacts that they held up toward me like a priest might hold crosses toward a vampire.
I stared bleakly at them. I did not need this grief now. All I wanted was to toss Gondo aside, jump in the car, and get on the road. But dozens of goblins now stood between me and my vehicle, and they didn’t look like they were in the mood to negotiate.
23
Do we attack them? Sindari sounded more uncertain than daunted as he eyed the dozens of armed goblins. Not much daunted him.
I don’t know. They’re criminals, but they’re petty criminals, as far as we know, not murderers and rapists.
If they murder you, I shall ruthlessly slay them.
Thank you.
Light flared in the driveway, and a goblin with a blowtorch stepped forward and hurled a burning brand. The flames danced with far more vigor than would have been possible on normal wood, and I sensed magic as it sailed toward me.
His—no, that was a female goblin—aim was good, and it would have hit me in the face, but I knocked it aside with Chopper. It landed on the lawn, the grass damp enough that it didn’t burn. But the brand didn’t smolder and go out. It flared even brighter, flames reaching up higher than my waist. I didn’t take my eyes off the goblins.
Gondo surged forward, trying again to escape, but I tightened my grip on the back of his shirt and kept him from taking more than a step. I didn’t want to negotiate by using a hostage, but he—and the artifact—might be the only reason they weren’t yet attacking.
“Who’s your work leader?” I called.
More brands came flying out of the night. These weren’t directed at me. They landed all around the yard, including on the dock.
Thinking of Thad’s damage deposit, I asked Sindari to watch Gondo and ran over to kick the brand into the water. It sizzled as it hit, then floated and kept burning. Handy magic.
Goblins didn’t need light to see, so they were sending me a message. That they could burn this place down?
When I returned, Sindari had flattened Gondo—I assumed the goblin had tried to escape again—and was using a front paw to keep him pressed facedown into the grass. The rest of the goblins had crept closer, several stepping off the driveway and into the yard.
Sindari growled and crouched as if he would spring. Maybe he would.
“Who’s your leader?” I asked again. “My leader is coming out to talk to you all in the morning, so if we could put this meeting on pause until then, that would be great.” Even better if they would let me get to my Jeep so I could find Amber before it was too late.
“The Mythic Murderer is an enemy of all magical beings,” an older female goblin called, “and now you steal our valuable artifact and capture one of our workers.” She lifted her arms like a preacher in a movie, bracelets jangling on her wrists—or were those bicycle chains decorated with bottlecaps?
“So you’re the work leader?”
“I am Work Leader Nogna.”
“Good to know. Your people have been terrorizing this town and using innocent animals to scare the inhabitants. FYI, I’m not the bad guy here.”
Gondo squirmed and cried out dramatically.
I swatted Sindari on the flank. Less pressure, please.
The pressure is minimal, and my claws are retracted. He’s being dramatic.
Of course we had to capture a thespian goblin.
“Let’s talk about what you’re trying to accomplish,” I said, focusing on Nogna. Instead of a bow or blowtorch, she wore a tool bag slung across her chest. Maybe that was a sign of importance among the goblins. Bows for minions, wrenches for power players.
Two of the goblins stepped in front of her, as if my attention itself was a threat, and fired bows. I tensed, prepared to spring behind the nearby boulder, but with all the fires, there was enough light to calculate the trajectories of their arrows. They plunked into the grass, one to Sindari’s side, one to my side.
He growled again, muscles coiling as he readied himself to attack.
“Wait,” I whispered.
If one of those arrows sailed directly toward us, I would agree with attacking—and I’d run for cover and take out Fezzik. But so far, the goblins were shooting warning shots.
“My tiger is losing his patience,” I called. “Negotiate with us, Nogna, or get off the lawn and go back to where you came from.”
“Work Leader Nogna,” one of the bowmen growled.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Give Gondo the artifact and release him, and we’ll spare your life,” Nogna said.
“That’s not how it works.” Since Sindari had Gondo, I didn’t need my hands free, so I pulled out Fezzik, putting the big pistol in my left hand. I kept Chopper in my right. I’d trained hard to be ambidextrous with the weapons and would have no problem putting both to use on the goblins if necessary. “I don’t cave to threats, and when I get backed into a corner, I fight like a banshee.”
A few of the goblins glanced backward, toward the wooded slope and the road beyond. The headlights of a car—multiple cars—flickered through the trees as the vehicles turned down the driveway.
The goblins scattered off the pavement. A few of them looked at the dark trail as an escape option.
“Do we run?” one of the goblins asked in his own language.
“We can’t leave Gondo.”
More cars turned down the driveway. Big SUVs were in the lead, a couple of them with racks of lights on the top. County law enforcement? How had the townsfolk figured out the goblins were here? Ah, there was a fire truck too. Someone must have seen the burning brands from a house on one of the other points.
Gondo squirmed again, but Sindari didn’t release him.
The SUVs stopped, and grim-faced deputies stepped out in full body armor. The sheriff looked at me, but most of the men spread out, pointing firearms at the goblins.