“You know how to repair short-circuits?” I set down the pen, suspecting my honest dragon was telling the truth about this story, even if his willingness to assist someone surprised me.
“I do not. But I can make anything light up. I infused it with magic.”
On a hunch, I typed the name of the bakery into a social media site. Freshly posted photographs greeted me, all showing a “dope new sign,” as one citizen journalist reported, glowing like a sun on Market Street. When nighttime came, there might be complaints from nearby residents about the brightness of that sign. Some of the people lining up at the door were wearing sunglasses, but if that line was an indication, the sign was having its desired effect and bringing in customers.
I would still call the owner to see if I owed her anything. “Well, good. I’m glad you didn’t expect her to feed you simply because you’re magnificent.”
“I thought you would be pleased.” His eyelids drooped as he smiled at me. That was his bedroom-thoughts gaze. I wasn’t sure if he was having bedroom thoughts, but it always put bedroom thoughts in my mind. “I am magnificent,” he added.
“I’m sure.” I tried not to look at him as I broke off the end of a blueberry scone to eat. “What did you want to talk about?”
He watched me thoughtfully for a moment before responding. “It will not please you. Perhaps you should finish your meal first.”
“Are you going to tell me you don’t want me to work for Weber anymore?”
“No. But I do not like him or trust him.”
I thought about explaining the hounds and the vampire and admitting that I didn’t trust him either. But did I want to get Zav involved? He might overreact and raze Weber’s expensive mansion to the ground. Given that I didn’t know if Weber was doing anything wrong, or if he was simply being secretive and evasive with me for well-founded reasons, I was reluctant to bring in the big guns.
“Then why, my magnificent dragon, did you do something to please me this morning and now you tell me that you intend to displease me?”
“It is for your own good. And for my good, because I wish to mate with you.” He rested his hands on the counter and entwined his fingers. “I had erotic thoughts about you last night after seeing you in that revealing garment.”
I coughed and barely managed to keep from hawking a piece of scone out of my mouth at him. It was rare for me to be speechless, but I didn’t know how to handle this bluntness and needed a moment to gather my thoughts. And to swallow the scone.
“Do you have erotic thoughts about me?” Zav asked, not giving me my moment.
“If I do, they’re not inspired by your socks.”
He gazed at me with that I’m-too-mature-for-snarky-comments gaze that he sometimes employed. I sighed, propped my elbow on the counter, and dropped my forehead in my hand.
“I observed that the change to your clothing affected my thoughts and preoccupation with mating,” Zav said. “Your garment was skimpy and made me more aware of your body. Is it similar for females? Should I wear something skimpy?”
“No,” I blurted, horrified as I imagined him changing his robe into something similar to that dress. “No.”
“You scrutinized me with sexual interest when I wore nothing and climbed into the water box with you,” he added, prompting my imagination to picture him completely naked except for the socks and sandals.
“I thought you were too preoccupied with taking off those boots to notice that,” I muttered.
“No,” he said simply.
“Look, Zav.” I made myself look at him. And be mature, not snarky. “I am attracted to you, as it seems you can tell. Even when you’re in the midst of removing boots without a shoehorn. And I have had, ah, erotic dreams about you.”
I couldn’t remember ever admitting to a guy that I’d dreamed about him. It had happened before. I just hadn’t admitted it. Were all dragons driven to honesty and bluntness around mating topics?
“Excellent. Then perhaps you will not be displeased.”
“About what?” I thought about taking another bite of my scone, now that I’d managed to chew and swallow the last piece, but I might end up choking on it again.
“I am going to take you to Veleshna Var to meet your kin who will, if they know how to properly respect the wishes of a dragon, train you to develop your magical powers.”
“I already know that.”
“Today. After you finish eating.”
I set down the scone. “We can’t go today. Weber said he doesn’t need me right now, but I’m still on his payroll. If he calls, I need to hurry over there and guard his body.”
“I do not care if he needs you. Also, if he is as obnoxious to other magical beings as he is to dragons, you will get yourself killed guarding him.”
“If that happens, then that’s the job. It’s what he’s paying me for.”
Zav flung his arms up in exasperation. “Currency is such a preoccupation on this world.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Being able to protect yourself from enemies is far more important. You will complete your meal, and I will take you to Veleshna Var.”
“No,” I said slowly, looking him in the eyes. “You will not. You can’t force someone to do things against their wishes if you want them to love and respect you.”
“It is your wish to go.”
“Not today. I’m in the middle of a job, and I’ve promised to protect him.”
“You will always be in the middle of a job. The mundane vermin of this world are incapable of doing anything for themselves.”
I could tell he was getting hot, because he’d changed humans back to vermin. Well, I was also struggling to rein in my temper. I’d thought we were past him threatening to force me to do things.
“You’re not going to compel me to go with you,” I said. “That’s not going to make me have erotic dreams and want to have sex with you.”
He stood up, and my stomach flip-flopped nervously. Damn, was he going to do it? I wasn’t even wearing Chopper to help me ward off magical compulsion. I hadn’t expected to need to bring my weapons to breakfast.
“I do not have to compel you in order to take you somewhere. Have you completed your meal?”
“No.” I stuffed some scone into my mouth and regretted it because it was too large a bite, but I didn’t care. I chomped angrily at it and glowered at him.
He turned toward the living room and lifted a hand. Magical energy ignited in the air and crawled over my skin like a swarm of ants. A silver portal formed in front of the couch. Was he serious?
Thanks to my mouthful of scone, I couldn’t talk, but I thumped a fist on the counter so he would know I was pissed. My weapons, which had been lying on the coffee table where I tended to leave them, floated over to me. The uneaten scones returned to the bag and floated in the air next to them.
“Do you require anything else?” he asked calmly.
“No. Because I’m not going.” I dashed away crumbs that tumbled out of my mouth.
“You will go. It is for your own good.”
“Stop saying that. If you force me to walk out in the middle of a job I’ve committed to doing, I’m not going to have sex with you, no matter how good I get at keeping asshole dragons out of my mind.” I folded my arms over my chest, ignoring the floating gear, and glared at him, certain my words would change his mind.
“That will be unfortunate, but I will still be pleased when you learn how to care for yourself better.”
“I’m not bluffing, Zav.”
My feet left the floor. I grabbed the counter, refusing to be magically tossed through a portal. “You don’t even know if they’ll teach me. They may resent the crap out of you for trying to arrange this.”
“Many elves resent dragons. This is how it is.”
Power pushed at my hands, forcing my fingers open, and I soon dangled in the air, unable to reach anything. “I can’t imagine why!”
My weapons floated toward the portal, the bag of scones almost laughable as it trailed after them, and I drifted inexorably toward it. Zav walked behind me, his face determined and self-righteous. The bastard.
I almost spat out something mean, but I clamped down on it. Whether I wanted to go or not, he was going to be my only way back.
“Wait,” I blurted less than a foot from the portal. “Let me at least call Dimitri and Willard to tell them I’m leaving.”
I half-expected Zav to stuff me through anyway, but he halted my progression.
“Do so.”
Both calls dropped to voicemail after a few rings. Damn it. I’d hoped to talk to someone and give myself time to come up with an argument to sway Zav. All I ended up doing was telling them that he was kidnapping me, that I wasn’t joking, and that I wasn’t sure when I’d be back.
“But I only have enough scones for a day or two,” I finished with a snarl in my message to Willard.
After hanging up, I said, “I better tell Weber too.”
“No.” Zav thrust me through the portal.
15
The leaves on the trees were blue and purple. I hadn’t expected that. Perhaps thanks to Star Trek and Stargate SG-1, I’d been certain leaves were green throughout the galaxy.
The grass in the clearing we arrived in was also blue, not a fake vibrant blue, but a muted blue-gray that didn’t compete for vibrancy with the trees. Alien scents wafted to my nose, reminding me of the first time I’d been out in the Sonoran Desert after a rain. Even though the lush, strangely colored forest reminded me nothing of a desert, something in the area had a pungent, earthy scent similar to the creosote bush.
The sky was gray above the canopy, rain dripping from brownish-blue branches, so I had no idea if there was one sun up there or three. The portal trip had passed in a blur of streaking stars, similar to my first journey, and I had little concept of how much time had gone by. I almost pulled out my phone, but what was the point? It didn’t matter what time it was in Seattle.