“No. I need my store to do well and for some of my goods to sell.” Dimitri flattened a hand to his chest. “That was the whole point of this place. Not to employ trolls and make coffee.”
“Maybe Nin will have some new marketing ideas for you at our next meeting. Have you managed to sell anything except the coffee yet?”
“Zoltan’s under-eye cream is a big hit.” Dimitri made a face.
“I’m sorry. I know selling your stuff is your dream.” What I didn’t know was if there was a big market for his recycled magicked-up yard art. Though we had sold some things at that farmers market.
His shoulders slumped. “I shouldn’t complain, since the coffee shop I never wanted is already profitable. But it’s hard not to feel…” He shrugged.
“I get it. Keep trying. The word should get out. It’s a new location, and people may need to see some of your gizmos a few times before they want them. For instance, that…” I looked at one of the finished display cases, its shelves already laden with Dimitri’s goods. “Is that a snail holding a toaster?”
“The snail is the toaster. It also opens beer bottles. See, there with its shell. That’s the kitchen-appliance display case.”
“Right. They may need to see that a few times before they realize they want it. Also, you may want to reconsider getting a liquor license.”
Maybe he would get more impulse purchases if his visitors were drunk.
“I can’t close before ten as it is. Why do goblins need to drink so much coffee and be up all night?”
“To tinker, I’d guess.” I grabbed a few nails. “Hey, I’m going to leave some money behind when I go on this next mission. Will you buy some drywall, particle board, tiles, insulation, paint, and… whatever else the upstairs bathrooms need to have the floor, ceiling, and walls replaced? If we survive this, Zav said he’d help me eradicate the mold.”
“How’s he going to do that?”
“By eradicating everything the mold is growing on. Which could be most of the upstairs. Hence the need for supplies.”
“You better leave a lot of money.”
“If we survive this mission and it all goes as planned, I’ll have plenty for home improvements.” I thought the odds of us surviving and anything going as planned were low, so I didn’t mention the gold.
“Do you think you will?” Dimitri frowned at me in concern. “From what I heard, it sounds nuts.”
“Should I be concerned that the guy who treats building snail toasters as a normal thing thinks our plan is nuts?”
“Very concerned. Seriously, Val. Do you need to do this? I get that it would be kind of cool to go to another planet…” Did he look wistful? “But not to invade some dragon lair full of booby traps and piss off a ton of dragons. It sounds like they’ll end up starting a war, and you’ll be the little squishy human who could easily be trampled by accident.”
“That’s why I’m hardening myself with hammer blows to my thumb.” I waved the tool.
“I’m serious.”
“I know, and I don’t disagree that it’s unwise.” As Sindari would be sure to tell me. “But Ti came specifically for me.”
Dimitri lowered his voice, even though none of the coffee drinkers were paying a lick of attention to us. “Are we even sure that’s really Nin’s grandfather? The dude disappeared for twenty years—she thought he was dead. What if this is some shifter taking his form to mess with us?”
“He ate Nin’s fish eyeball soup. That proves he’s family.”
“I’m still being serious, Val.”
“Even if I couldn’t detect it, I don’t think a ruse like that would fool Freysha or Zav. Zav read his mind. Anyway, me going on this mission is more about Zav than Ti.” I touched a hand to my chest. “I’ve come to care about him. You’ve probably guessed that.”
“From seeing you two putting your tongues in each other’s mouths here in our coffee shop? Yeah, I guessed.”
My cheeks heated a few degrees. “Is that not allowed? I thought there were perks for owners.”
“It gets the goblins excited.”
“Yeah, but they’re little pervs.”
“True.” Dimitri’s frown faded. “Is there anything I can make you or give you to take along? I’d offer to go myself, but you’ve seen what kind of warrior I am.”
“I actually haven’t. Unless you’re counting shooting a crossbow at that scientist in Weber’s laboratory. Did you hit him?”
“I was ferocious and menacing. I scared him into fleeing.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Possibly it was all the naked vampires who scared him into fleeing.”
“I think so. I doubt I need any yard art to take on my mission, but if I change my mind, I’ll let you know.” I was planning to stop by Nin’s later to pick up a bunch of extra ammo. Maybe some grenades too. If this went to hell and dragons were waiting to attack us, I would make sure to give those Crying Caverns something to cry about before I got taken down myself. “If anything happens, would you mind checking on my mom from time to time? I’m sure she’ll be fine, but she’s getting older, and she doesn’t really have anyone except Amber and me, and Amber’s too young to go down there.”
Dimitri’s face grew bleak, and I thought he might protest my mission again, but he nodded. “I’ll make sure she’s doing okay. Help her find another van guy to rent her driveway if she needs it.”
I snorted, not sure if Mom would appreciate that or not. But it did remind me that she’d mentioned that her property taxes had gotten high. If I survived this mission, I would give her some of the gold. Maybe I should update my will to leave her my ten percent of the coffee shop too. How horrified would Dimitri be if my mother moved up here to help keep an eye on things and imposed her opinions on how his business should be run?
It couldn’t be any worse than one of the owners making out with a dragon in the main room.
“Thanks, Dimitri.” I patted him on the shoulder. “You’re a good guy.”
“You’re complimenting me? That means you’re positive you’re going to die, doesn’t it?”
“No, it means I’ve learned to appreciate you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t believe you.”
“I’ll do my best to stay alive. Just don’t forget to buy my drywall.”
20
Amber collapsed on the grassy lawn, letting her practice sword fall from her grip and moaning theatrically. “Why are you being so hard on me today? It’s been hours.”
“It’s been less than two hours.”
“That’s a ton. I’m getting calluses.” Amber thrust up her hand. “Swimmers aren’t supposed to have calluses. Guys will think it’s weird.”
“Do you complain this much to your swim coach?”
“No. Swimming doesn’t make me all sweaty and nasty.” She glanced at her armpit and wrinkled her nose, then looked at her palm before letting the arm flop back down.
“You sweat when you swim. You’re just in the water so you don’t notice it.”
“Gross.”
“You’re the one marinating in it.” I crouched down beside her. “Before we finish, I want to go over a couple of defenses that are good against enemies with claws instead of swords and knives. You can rest for a few minutes first.”
“Thanks so much.” Amber lifted her head—we were in the back yard of her house, the grassy lawn framed by a large patio and fire pit on one side and tiers of retaining walls and perennial bushes in the back. The neighborhood was on a long hill that overlooked Puget Sound, giving most of the houses views of the water and downtown Edmonds below. “Did you hear Dad’s car pulling into the garage? If that’s him, he might need me. He could have groceries or something.”
“I didn’t hear anything.” My ears would have heard the garage door opening. I recognized an attempt to get out of training when I saw one. “We won’t do much more. I promise.”
Amber let her head flop back into the grass with another dramatic moan. “What’s the deal, anyway? We usually only do an hour.”
“I know, but I’m not sure… Never mind.”
She frowned at me. “What?”
“I’m going on a dangerous mission. In case I don’t make it back, I want to make sure I’ve taught you all the basics.”
“You think you’re going to die?”
“I hope not.”
“Will you leave me your sword if you do?”
I snorted. Ah, the love and concern of teenagers. “I’m sure my sword will fall into whatever pit or chasm that I also fall into. If anyone gets it, it’ll probably be a dragon or some heinous enemy.”
“That sucks.”
“Sorry. I’d get a magic sword for you if I could.”
“A magic sword that could poke a dragon in the ass.” A familiar flash of anguish haunted her eyes as she mentioned dragons—alluding to whatever Zondia had done when she’d been questioning Amber about me. Mind-scouring, probably. I hated all of the dragons that had bothered Amber, but Zondia seemed the worst, since she should have been an ally, not an enemy.
“Unfortunately, they don’t sell them at 7-Eleven.”
I thought of the magical swords those orcs I’d battled on Weber’s property had used. And all the weapons in that stash. Willard’s people had collected them, but I wondered if she would authorize one for Amber. I should have thought to simply snag one that day. It wasn’t as if Weber had needed them after he died. But I hadn’t known anything about them. I might have ended up with a sword that turned out to have a life-sucking soul trapped inside that constantly tried to take over its wielder’s mind. I’d heard of such things. Possibly in fantasy books and not in reality, but I couldn’t remember. The two tended to mesh for me.