"Satan's balls, I'd hoped my vision was wrong," she muttered.
"Do you have to refer to Dad's testicles this early? My brain is frozen and now my stomach is churning."
"It's just an expression. However, you have now put a visual in my head that made me lose my appetite." She laughed and dropped her spoon to the table with a clank.
"I didn't say it. You did." I grinned at my favorite big sister and tried in vain to wipe the vision of my Dad's privates from my head.
"Subject change. Now," she said. "Enough about Daddy's nutsack. Why do you think you're in love?"
"Wait. What vision?" I asked her. She rarely shared her visions with anyone but Satan.
"You first."
"I'm just trying to figure out if soul mates exist."
"That didn't even come close to answering my question." She crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips in annoyance.
"Fine," I huffed. "I've had feelings for someone for a year, but it feels like I've know him my whole life and then some. When he touches me I feel tingles up my arms, and when I'm not with him I feel empty."
"Shit," she muttered and retrieved her spoon. She stirred the now melting ice cream and her demeanor changed to serious. "Since you came to us a dark presence has followed you. I've never caught a glimpse of him, but whatever he is, he adores you and has acted like a protector."
"Like a guardian Angel?" I asked, confused.
"Possibly, but Demons don't have Angels. At least not the Heavenly kind. Is this boy blond, built like a brick shithouse, more powerful than all get out and as tall as Dad?"
"Yes," I whispered.
She ran her hands through her hair and stared at the ceiling for a moment. "Have you slept with him?"
"No."
"Good—don't. Because he is your soul mate, and if you bond it might all come crashing down around you."
"He'll hurt me?" Why did even asking that question feel ridiculous?
"I would really love to lie to you, but I won't. If you were any other sister of mine I would lie my ass off, but you're not. . ." She got up and paced. Her energy made me tense and I made a grab for the chocolate she'd left on the table.
"Please just tell me."
"He would never hurt you. Ever. But your bonding could rile up the order and all Hell would break loose. Winged jackasses will start showing up everywhere. Just because you're supposed to be with someone doesn't mean you should. Not that you won't possibly end up with the flying bastard, but you need to sow your wild oats, start eating shitty breakfasts and maybe commit a few crimes. Nothing major—I don't think you have that in you, but you can't grow up without being incarcerated a few times. At least try for public intoxication when you go to Earth."
"What does that even mean? And how do you know he can fly?" I threw my hands in the air and accidently pelted her with a Hershey's bar.
"Nice shot," she said and then stopped dead in her tracks. "I was right?"
"About what?" I yelled. "I have no clue what the Hell you were talking about."
"He flies?"
"Yes, he flies." My brain still reeled as I tried to decipher her bizarre and alarming advice. She grabbed my hands and pulled me to the couch.
"Fucking Hell, you're too young. Actually you're not, but you've been protected. Dad has watched you like a hawk since he brought you here. I always thought he was worried your mother would come for you, but it's so much more."
"You're making me nervous and I'm pretty sure you've cut off the circulation in my hands."
"Sorry," she mumbled as she lightened her grip. "It's not that what you feel isn't real. I'm very sure it is. Certain people were created for each other and are destined to be together, but it's always more complicated than that. You've been different from the rest of us since you were brought to Hell. I thought you'd grow into your Demon. . .and you have," she added quickly as I tried to pull my hands from hers. "But there's more to you. Dad knows what it is, but my guess is that you will have to figure it out for yourself."
"So I can trust what I feel?"
"Yes," she said slowly. "But find out who you are first."
"Do you know more than you're telling me?" I asked.
"I wish. My visions aren't like movies. Sometimes I see faces and locations, but most of the time I have feelings. Dad helps me piece them together."
"But not everything comes true like you see it," I said, knowing she kept much of what she saw to herself for that very reason.
"True, which is why I don't advertise."
"So Hayden might not be my soul mate then," I said as a wave of depression washed over me.
"His name is Hayden?" Sloth hissed. Her demeanor went from sisterly to Demony in a hot second.
"Um. . .yeah. Do you know him?"
"Not sure," she answered too quickly. "I'm sure there are lots of Demons named Hayden."
It was my turn to pace. She'd gone quiet and I knew she was done talking. The cryptic nature of my family made me want to tear their heads off, followed by my own.
"If you're not going to talk I want you to leave," I told her.
She nodded and stood. "Just. . .be careful. Do you adhere to the notion of pre-destiny?"