Home > Fashionably Dead in Diapers (Hot Damned #4)(43)

Fashionably Dead in Diapers (Hot Damned #4)(43)
Author: Robyn Peterman

"Are you alright?" I whispered.

He opened his eyes and stared. His gaze was questioning and he watched me as I moved closer to the bars of his cage.

"You're not a Fairy," he said softly. Shitballs, had the essence crap that Susu drenched me in not worked? I should have stayed in the body of Pink.

"Yes, I am." As soon as the lie passed my lips I laughed in embarrassment. It was kind of like lying to the Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa or my Uncle God. The man said nothing. He just smiled and waited.

"Okay, um…you're correct. I'm not a Fairy, but you're not supposed to be able to tell. I'm actually a Vampyre-Demon on a mission to save my friends and you saw through my disguise, which means I should kick Susu's ass. Sorry," I muttered. "I meant butt, not ass. Damn it, I did mean ass, but lying to you is fucking hard. Shit, I meant freakin' hard." Diarrhea of the mouth seemed to be my new M.O. "Alright, I did mean fucking, but I know I shouldn't say that. It's unladylike. However, I'm fairly sure I'm not much of a lady, but I don't have full access to my memory at the moment. I'm basically working on half a tank, which sucks…each time a piece of the puzzle comes back I have a mini seizure of sorts. Not very pretty. Oh, and Susu is a Mini Elf that eats bad Fairies like my Baby Demons eat bad Demons, which is totally gross. You know, the kind of thing that makes you want to hurl. I'm a Vampyre and from everything I've heard we can't actually throw up and ahh…Oh my Hell, did you follow any of that?" I asked, mortified.

"Yes my child, unfortunately I followed all of it," he said.

"I am so sorry. You're just…"

"It's alright," he said kindly. "I know. My name is The Dave. Who might I have the pleasure of knowing entirely too much about?"

"Oh my God, you're The Dave?" He nodded and grinned. I almost fell over he was so pretty. I was about to beg him to adopt me, but remembered I hadn't told him my name. "I'm Astrid. The Kev is my friend and teacher. We're here in Xanthia because The Corrine stole a baby and some concubines. She thought the baby was Gemma's."

"Gemma?" He stood and walked to the bars. I couldn't help myself. I took his warm hand in mine.

"Gemma is the True Fairy Queen. She's my best friend and the baby doesn't belong to her. The Corrine was going to trade Gemma for the baby."

"Is Gemma here?" he asked as his eyes lit with joy. "We have waited so long for her."

I absolutely hated to disappoint him. I almost lied again and told him she was down the hall so he would keep smiling at me. "No, it's not safe yet. She's in Hell."

"Interesting."

"Yep, The Kev cut a deal with my Uncle Satan and sent Gemma there because the Fairies won't go to Hell to get her."

"The Kev is a smart man. I worry at the price for such a favor."

"Yeah, well, The Kev didn't care."

"And who are you, Astrid? You are far more than a Vampyre-Demon."

How did this man see so much? He was like The Kev, but wiser somehow. "I'm a True Immortal. I'm Compassion."

"Of course you are."

His delight at my confession made me want to tell him more, but that pretty much covered it. Any more would be lying and I didn't want to go there again.

"You are a sight for sore eyes. I haven't had contact with anyone other than the guards in a very long time," he said.

"How long?" I asked as I gauged if I could break the lock and free him. It was warded with heavy magic.

"Time is relative when you are as ancient as I am, but I believe it's been several hundred years."

"Holy shit, how did you not go nuts? I meant holy cow…no, I didn't."

"It's alright, child." He chuckled as I hung my head in shame. Did I have no filters at all? "As I said, time is relative and I stay alive and well because I wait for our True Queen. The news you have brought me validates my belief and I am happy."

"Let me help you get out of here," I said as sparks began to fly from my fingertips. I was going to blast the fucking lock, free The Dave and then ask him if he'd be interested in adopting me.

"No, Astrid. You must leave me here. There are prophecies that must be fulfilled. This is not in line with what needs to happen. Go and save your friends. I will be fine. You have given me the hope today that I have longed for. It is a gift that is priceless."

"Are you sure?" I asked dejectedly. If I didn't free him, he wouldn't want to adopt me.

"I am sure and if I had a daughter, I'd like her to be just like you."

I shook my head and laughed. "Are you inside my head?"

"No, dear, your face is very transparent. Go now. I can feel that time is of the essence."

"I hope I see you again."

"I wish for the same. Let me give you a gift." He held out his other hand and I took it. He closed his eyes and hummed a tune that made me melt. There was no pain, but an odd sensation washed over me.

"What did you do?" I asked as he released my hands.

"As you regain your mind you will no longer feel pain. It won't be comfortable, but it will not debilitate you. Now go."

I smiled, turned and ran. All of a sudden everything seemed more urgent. Shitfirebitchballs. I knew that I was fated to meet The Dave, but had I lost precious minutes that I needed to save everyone? I flew like lightning toward the other path and ran smack into Susu. We both hit the ground with a thud and then gingerly sat up. For such a tiny thing she had a hard head.

   
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