A small growl told me Heath was listening but frustrated.
“I already apologized,” he said stiffly. “I’m sorry. How much more do you want from me, Jacky? Do you want me to deny the BSA and CPS visitation with Carey? Because that will get her taken away faster than you and I could blink. It would be a firestorm. Imagine the headlines? ‘Werewolf Alpha has a human daughter taken from him over safety concerns.’ Or ‘Werewolf Alpha resists human government’s efforts to protect a human girl.’ I’m sorry you were brought up, and they wanted to meet you. I am. I understand the reason why you’re upset. I just…” He stood up and ran his hand through his hair. “There’s nothing I can do. This is out of my control.”
It hit me that Heath’s problems and his annoyance had nothing to do with me, and my anger eased. He was right; he couldn’t do anything. For a dominant creature like Heath Everson, it was eating him up. His apology was sincere.
“What else don’t I know?” I asked softly, trying not to sound angry with him anymore. He was making it a point to beat himself up more than I could, and I regretted my initial outburst. “If there’s anything…”
“Jacky, the depth of supernatural knowledge you don’t know would take years to teach,” he said, sagging back into the seat next to me. “Years. You don’t even get the simplest of magics others use in their daily lives. You don’t have fae contacts or know a local vampire nest, and I know you chose this region because many of those things aren’t close by. You don’t know what other supernaturals run in the area around you, in the major cities.”
“I knew about you,” I snapped, angry he thought I was so ignorant. “I knew about the Dallas pack and know about the Houston pack and the fucking Austin pack and the New Orleans pack.” I knew where all the werewolves who could possibly be a threat lived.
“Why did you know about me? Why did you know about the Dallas pack, Jacky?” He leaned back, shifting his body, so his chest was toward me. His legs outstretched, and I found myself thinking about the moment I met Heath Everson in the back of a pack SUV.
“Because…” I looked away. “Hasan taught me to know where werewolf packs were located near me, so I could keep an eye out for trouble.”
“Did he tell you how to get to the Market? Do you even know what the Market is? Or the Mygi Corporation and Foundation? The hospital where your family took Niko and Zuri after that explosion? You know just as well as I do, in some ways, you are just as ignorant as my daughter when it comes to the supernatural world.”
I leaned over and rubbed my temples.
“Are you saying I need to start learning?” I didn’t want to. I liked my home. I liked my simple life, even as it tried to grow more complicated.
“I’m saying you should think carefully when you ask what else don’t you know,” he clarified. “If you want to keep the illusion you live a simple life, you need to ask questions like that with much more care. I can teach you. Jacky, I can expand your worldview, but you might hate me for it…and I don’t want that,” he ended in a whisper. I saw his hand come into view before it dipped down and grabbed my chin. I didn’t fight as he lifted my head, so he could stare into my eyes. His grey-blue eyes looked a little scared, a little hurt, very sad. “I don’t want that.”
“You said, years.” I licked my lips. “Would about six years cover it?”
“Yeah? Maybe? Why six?” He frowned. I turned, breaking his hold.
“I left home too early. There was a lot Hasan still wanted to teach me. Ten years is the accepted amount of time for a new werecat to live with their…parent. I left his home and protection after four years. If you think I don’t know how ignorant I am, you are sorely mistaken.” I sighed, staring at the far wall. “But that’s not the point. What I was trying to ask…Is there anything about you and your family I need to know? Is there anything you’ve kept from me like today that could put me or my kind at risk?”
“I…” He trailed off, a look of concentration coming over his face. “I don’t know, actually. Nothing off the top of my head.”
“Good. Since we’re on the topic, and because you owe me for today…is there anything you think I should know, even if it has nothing to do with today?” I narrowed my eyes on him, waiting and wondering what his answer would be.
“There are…some things I might be able to help you with,” he said carefully as if he was trying not to upset me. “But you could ask them of Hasan or any of your siblings, I bet. With Hasan’s connection and position with the Tribunal, I’m sure he knows even more than me.”
“I’m not asking him, though. What’s wrong with you telling me?”
“Jacky, there have always been a couple of things I wished you did to protect yourself and Carey—always—but I never brought them up and don’t want to bring them up because I know how you would react.” He seemed so uncomfortable. “If I had told you a year ago, you would have stomped your foot and said I was trying to be your Alpha.”
I flinched. He was right, I would have. I would have been pissed. Now, I was pissed I didn’t know things—not that I had ever wanted to know any of it—but now it seemed like the safest thing. Better to live with knowledge I didn’t need than continue to be ignorant. It was a lesson that should have sunk in years before, but I had gotten complacent. I had successfully lived with the limited knowledge I had. With the BSA sniffing around my territory, I had the foreboding sensation I couldn’t live like that any longer.
“Jacky?” Heath’s voice was so gentle and soft. There wasn’t any dominance or indication the man beside me was a werewolf Alpha, based on the way he said my name.
“Sorry, I got lost in thought. You’re right. I wouldn’t have liked you telling me how to do anything, especially if it meant reaching out to other supernaturals or doing something different than I have for years,” I said, sighing heavily.
“I know today really bothered you, but what else is going on?” He shifted closer, an arm going around my shoulders, not touching me, but over the back of the couch. It was such a startling change from the passion we had this morning.
I didn’t like it.
I leaned into him, smelling how shocked that made him. For a moment, I wished we were human, and this could be normal. It wasn’t and would never be normal, though. Nothing in our lives was.
With my head on his chest, I pointed at the bag I had dragged into his house.
“She was wearing a necklace with a rune of power,” I whispered. “And it’s making me…paranoid. She hated you, Heath. Hates werewolves. Tried to convince me or see if I did, too.” I shook my head. “Yet she was wearing a rune of power. I don’t know which one. I still haven’t looked it up. I think…not knowing BSA would take an interest in your family and my life and her…it just freaked me out. I don’t like having the spotlight on me, but it’s here and…I don’t know how to really protect myself from it. Maybe it’s time I learned.”
“Don’t give up what you love and who you are because you’re scared.” His words were warm as his breath drifted over my ear. “The BSA is my problem. I don’t want you to change or be forced to change because of my problems.”
I turned a little and smiled sadly.
“Heath, it’s not just about them,” I said softly, moving so my lips grazed against his. Heat built as I searched for comfort. His breath was heavier as I spoke. “What about us? We have this secret and…” If anyone found out, we were dead. Not even my relationship with Hasan would save me. My siblings, as much as they might care in their own way, wouldn’t be able to save me. Part of me wasn’t certain they would try. Maybe Hisao would be the one who did me in.
“I know,” he murmured. He was the one who leaned in as though I was some sort of magnet, and he couldn’t resist.
Our lips met in a slow kiss, one that reminded both of us exactly what the problem was.
We shouldn’t have these feelings. They’re going to get us killed.
When the kiss ended, I sighed.
“Anything I can do that can keep protecting all of us is stuff I need to learn,” I said, showing him just how freaked out the BSA visit left me. “This is my territory, and I swore to you I would protect you.”
“You swore to protect Carey,” he corrected. “I’ll never ask you to protect me. I’ve been doing that pretty well for about two hundred and fifty years. I’m not a young werewolf. Neither is Landon.”
“You live in my territory.”
“So? I didn’t move here expecting you to give your life for me. I didn’t move here, expecting this.” He lifted a hand and gently grazed the tips of his fingers over my cheek, the line of my jaw, and down my neck. Without warning, he gently tugged the collar of my shirt and revealed an old gunshot scar on my shoulder. “You have suffered enough for me. I really am sorry for today.”
I pulled his hand away. The scars didn’t bother me, not really. They weren’t disfiguring, so I ignored them on most days.
“You mentioned one of the BSA has a rune of power on her necklace. The little mean one, Agent Robinson?” He didn’t move, but he changed the topic so swiftly, I was nearly thrown off from shock.
“Yeah.” I moved off the couch and grabbed my bag, digging to grab the sketchbook. “I should recognize it if I see it again, but some of these are so similar. Like, one line is tilted in a slightly different way similar.” I sat on the floor, my back to the couch, and stretched my legs out with the sketchbook on my lap.
“Oh, that’s going to make this hard.” He slid down to sit next to me, shoulder to shoulder. “I saw the necklace, but I didn’t think anything of it. People like obscure jewelry.”
We started flipping through the pages. I knew Heath wouldn’t be too helpful, but I enjoyed his company. I was rattled, but the anger was gone. The further I was away from what happened, the less likely I found it to be a problem. The BSA could look into me all they wanted. All they would find is a carefully crafted fake life and a series of lawyers to stop them at every turn, courtesy of Hasan.