“Not going well overall, huh?”
“No, which would be fine—I don’t mind easing into all of this—but…” She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“What do you need, Jess?” he asked softly, stepping into the room despite himself and standing at her side. “I’m here to help.”
Her eyebrows rose and then fell. “Either you have excellent timing, or Ivy House finally got to you, huh?”
This was why he’d come. She didn’t like asking for help, but she’d take it if someone offered. The house clearly knew that about her, too.
“What do you need?” he repeated.
She shook her head again and tucked a cluster of hair behind her ear. “At the moment, nothing, it’s just…” She shrugged. “Remember when we first met and you said you were really good at reading people?”
“Yes.”
“And remember those summons I sent out last week?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well…” She put her hands on her shapely hips. “It feels like they’re coming. I can’t explain how, it just feels… Honestly, it feels like danger. It feels like whatever is answering my summons is going to be dangerous.”
“We’ll handle it.”
“Right, well, that’s just it. I’m not worried about you handling the town. You’ve got that locked down. Whoever is coming is basically showing up to work with me. I need to handle it. I need to be strong enough to lead, or possibly combat, a dangerous person. Maybe dangerous people.”
“And you’re scared you won’t be able to do it?”
“I’m scared I can’t, Austin. You saw what happened in the bar. I have plenty of power, sure, but I don’t know how to work it. It comes in random bursts, either by accident or when Edgar finally figures out a passage in that book. If someone dangerous waltzes in here, throwing their weight around, I’m not sure how I’ll handle it. Niamh and the others can probably fight them off, if it comes down to that, but that’s not going to win us any loyalty.” She paused for a moment. “I know you can teach me about leadership, but there’s just no time. This is happening soon, and I don’t think I’m ready. The little magic I know probably won’t be enough for the type of presence I feel coming. I’m…” She took a deep breath. “I’m not happy to admit it, but since things might start heating up… I’m not so confident, Austin. I want to be strong and dominate my role here, but…I’m nervous I won’t be enough. That the house chose poorly.”
It hadn’t. He knew she’d blow everyone away, but she didn’t need someone to tell her that. She needed someone to understand. “It’s okay to be nervous,” he said, “and it’s okay to not feel up to leading yet. You have to walk before you run.”
“I’m still at the ‘lying on my stomach’ stage of development, actually. My next goal is crawling.”
He rubbed her back, her warmth seeping into his touch. “I’m here, okay? I have experience in leading. Obviously you don’t need my help with Niamh and the others, but if new people show up, you can count on me. I will put them in their place until you’re ready to step up and take over. You know my past—you know I won’t try to usurp power. Eventually, hopefully, I won’t be able to.”
Her grin was slight, but she leaned into his touch, taking the comfort he offered. Yes, this was why the house had begged him. Jess desperately needed help and hadn’t felt comfortable enough to ask for it. He was happy he’d answered the summons.
“I’ve been here for…what, three months? Less?” She leaned sideways this time, her shoulder fitting just below his armpit. He slid his arm around her and pulled her in tighter. “Suddenly I own a house with acreage, I have a staff, and I’m apparently filthy rich even though I haven’t seen any money or bank accounts or anything. And, oh yeah, magic is real and I’m supposed to have a crapload of it that I don’t know how to work.” She sighed. “Anyway, after a huge life change, suddenly I have all of this new…stuff that I haven’t a clue how to manage. And I don’t have time to figure it out, because I summoned some magical people who are coming to join this backward, incredibly odd operation. I’m in way over my head, Austin. Way over my head. I tried to tell Mr. Tom, Niamh, and Edgar, but none of them would listen. They think I’ll just miraculously know how to handle everything. I’m socially awkward and their minds are warped—how can we possibly have a chance in hell to make an impression on the magical world? If important people come to meet me or the house, expecting some sophisticated magical master with a well-oiled machine of a crew, and find this lot?” She shook her head. “I can’t even handle those freaking dolls!”
“No one can handle those dolls,” Austin said without meaning to. “No one.”
“I just… Did you ever feel overwhelmed by everything?”
“I was too filled with rage, testosterone, and stupidity to feel overwhelmed when I really should have, and once I smartened up, I hid instead of trying to start over. I slunk into the shadows to lick my wounds and moan about the hand I was dealt. I realize that now. I wasn’t overwhelmed because I settled for less than I should have.” He squeezed her. “Your concern shows your responsibility. The way you always keep trying, despite everything, shows your courage. This house chose well. The more I see, the more I’m convinced of that fact. Don’t underestimate Niamh and the others, either. They might seem like nut cases, but they have a lot of experience under their belts. A lot. They’ll steer you true, and if anyone tries to throw their weight around and they can’t handle it, you have me. Worst case, you have those dolls and this house. You’re protected here, Jess. Trust in that, and allow yourself to learn and grow. You’re only going to get better.”
She nodded, still looking out at the garden. “Thanks. You always know what to say.”
“I have no idea why.”
She smiled at him, and as he looked down into those sunburst eyes, he knew one moment of vertigo. The ground dropped away and the world spun on its axis, up and down, right and left.
A moment later, when she moved away from him, he almost constricted his arm to keep her put. The woman was a beauty with a soft heart and fire in her core. This house had chosen its heir perfectly. This might all be new to her, but she would rise to the occasion easily, he had no doubt.
He just wished this house hadn’t chosen him. That, or maybe he wished he were different. He hadn’t defined himself enough for a woman like her. She was entering midlife like a fallen star hellbent on taking out anything in her path. He’d entered midlife asleep, hoping everything didn’t crumble around him and wake him up.
“What’s the matter?” she asked as she led them out of the room.
“I thought you said you’d learned to cut off your receptors to your team?”
Those receptors were yet another reason Ivy House’s magic felt like a cage. Jess had a magical connection to the people who served the house, something that allowed her to read their feelings. She’d blocked her connection to him to preserve his privacy. She’d then blocked the others so as not to get more insight into their lives, apparently. He didn’t blame her.
Ultimately, though, Jess had control over that—she could reopen the receptors as easily as she’d closed them. He was trusting her to keep her word, a trust he wasn’t used to giving.
“You look like you swallowed a toad,” she said, pointing him toward an exit at the back of the house. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. Just reflecting on my life choices.”
“Aren’t we all,” she muttered, opening the door and gesturing him out. “Sir.”
He reached above her hand and took hold of the edge of the door. “Ma’am.”
She smiled and scooted out ahead of him.
“Think Gary would’ve held your door open?” he asked with a grin, unable to help it. He’d let Niamh do the teasing about Jess’s terrible pick, mostly because he had never done online dating, and for all he knew, the guy had posted someone else’s picture and lied about his personality. But man, that had been a shitshow from the word go. The second that guy had walked in, Austin had known exactly who he must be, and had been giddy at the thought of how Jess would handle him.
Granted, he couldn’t have known she’d evacuate the whole bar with an incredibly potent burst of magic that had gotten his heart thumping, but regardless, her facial expressions throughout the encounter had made his year. If it hadn’t been for the magic, he would’ve shushed Niamh so Jess could give Gary the wake-up call he’d so deserved.
Of course, Austin had been plenty happy to do it himself…
“Yes, actually.” She veered right through the wide expanse of grass. “He wouldn’t have seen holding the door open as a sign of respect, though, like most people.”
“You think I respect you because I held the door open for you?”
She twisted around in order to give him a you’re so dumb look. “Yes, but even if you didn’t respect me, you still respect yourself enough to be polite. You have manners. You’d hold the door open for an enemy.”
“I’d hold the door for an enemy because I’d want to be at his back, and also wouldn’t want him at my back.”
“Well…probably, yeah. It’s different when you do it than when most men do, is what I meant. I noticed that when we went wine tasting that one time, do you remember?”
Of course he remembered. That was the day she’d reached into the center of him, dragged out his horrible past, blown fairy dust on it, and shoved it back in. She’d single-handedly changed his perspective on who and what he was. It was a moment suspended in time that he’d remember until the end of his days.