“Just to keep him on his toes, sure. ’Tis good to have some wee danger in our everyday lives.”
More spikes rolled through the machine. The vampire yelled, dancing again, but continued to push the mower, crying out with each new onslaught. Austin couldn’t look away.
Jess ran out from the back door and into the grass, headed for Edgar.
Austin was moving before he’d consciously thought of it, exploding out of the bushes and running to cut her off.
“No, no, Jessie.” Edgar put out his hand, still pushing the mower, amazingly enough. He looked like he was tap-dancing. “This is a dangerous job. Don’t approach.”
Austin caught Jess when she was within feet of Edgar, ripping her up off the ground and holding her against his chest to stop her from going any farther. She twisted within his grasp, trying to see Edgar. Ulric and Jasper flanked Austin, faces hard as they scanned Edgar’s shimmering body, specks of shining metal amid seeping black blood.
“Oh, gross, vampires bleed black?” Jess said, clearly unable to help herself. A beautiful blush seeped into her cheeks. “I mean…”
“What is the meaning of this?” Earl jogged out next. “Edgar, what is happening? Has the lawn mower attacked you? Why are you screaming?”
“It’s…” Edgar finally shut off the mower and then looked down at his legs, one hand still on the handle. “I’m not sure. It seems there is something in the grass. Have no fear, Jessie. I will root them all up and throw them away so no one will step on them. I’d hate for someone to be enjoying the lovely day and get one of these stuck in their feet.”
“There has to be an easier way to root up whatever they are,” Ulric said, a smile spreading across his face.
“They’re nails,” Niamh said, catching up. She pointed at the ground in front of the mower. “Look like ’em, anyway. I wonder how those got there…”
Austin glanced at her. She put her finger to the side of her neck and pulled it across her throat. “Snitches get stitches,” she mouthed. She clearly did not care about his higher status within the Ivy House council.
“Oh. Nails?” Edgar moved out from behind the mower.
Jess pointed at his legs, his sweats tacked to his thighs and shins. Her mouth opened, but no words came out.
Edgar put his hands on his hips and bent, surveying the ground. He reached down, gripped one of the offending spikes with his fingernails, and pulled it out. “So they are. Yes, how strange. I wonder if whatever has been eating my flowers has also taken to nailing the grass down.”
Jess wiggled in Austin’s arms, asking to be put down. He released her, feeling her slide down his body until she was standing on her own. Uncomfortable, parts of him aching but thankfully not showing it, he stepped away and clasped his hands behind his back.
“Something is still eating your flowers?” Jess asked, looking at the ground below her feet. “Would anything that ate flowers also hammer nails into the grass? That doesn’t sound plausible.”
“Stranger things have happened around here.” Edgar looked toward his cottage, and it was anyone’s guess what he was talking about, but if it had been initiated by a person, Austin suspected that person was probably Niamh.
“Show me the newest flowers that have been eaten,” Austin said, ignoring the nails.
Jess glanced from Edgar to Austin. “Can you handle the flower situation while I go show my dad where the towels and everything are, and then we can chat about it?”
“Sure.”
She pointed at Edgar. “Are you okay? You’ve still got…nails stuck in you.”
Niamh put a fist in front of her mouth, shaking with suppressed laughter. Jess finally noticed, and a knowing gleam lit her eyes. She shook her head.
“One thing at a time,” she murmured as she turned. “I’ll be back.”
“Miss,” Mr. Tom said, hurrying after her as if seeing his window of opportunity narrow. “This is a good chance to talk to you without that woman always underfoot.”
“That’s my mom, Mr. Tom, be nice.”
“Yes, miss, I know, and she is a lovely woman…except when she is stealing the laundry out from under me. Why, she even took my laundry! She shrank my favorite pair of purple sweats.” They reached the back door, and Mr. Tom grabbed the handle and pulled it open for Jess. “Have you seen the refrigerator? Condiments everywhere! No rhyme or reason—”
The door shut behind them.
“Sounds like it’s going well,” Niamh said, her eyes teary from laughter. “That Earl could do with a little razzing, too.”
“When did you become a practical joker?” Austin asked, motioning for Edgar to lead the way. He seemed completely oblivious of the implications of what they were saying.
“Do ye need to ask? I got the promise of an action-filled life, and instead find myself looking at half-eaten flowers in the biggest swamp of daisies I’ve ever seen in my godforsaken life.” Niamh tagged along with them.
“There aren’t that many daisies. Besides, they add a nice pop of white,” Edgar said, leading them to a patch of tulips cut through with lilies and speckled with the aforementioned daisies. The garden was starting to look like his doilies.
The last row of crowded flowers did have a noticeable bare spot, the green stems ending abruptly, the buds or petals stripped away entirely. The rough breaks in flora bespoke teeth, the cuts not even and the ends smashed. The missing flowers were clustered together, as though an animal had been grazing.
“The basajaun made a much bigger mess,” Austin said, bending to sniff. The flowers were so plentiful that they overwhelmed his senses, any other scents completely washed out. He coughed with the onslaught, then sneezed three times in quick succession, his eyes watering.
Edgar put a hand on his heart and bowed his head. “I do, of course, believe Jessie when she says it is not likely that basajaun. I do not doubt her for a moment. She is not the type of person to lie…”
“But?” Austin asked.
“Well.” Edgar grasped his hands in front of him. “It’s just that the basajaun did only eat the flowers, not the stems. He made an awful mess when he was permitted to eat the flowers, but at the moment he does not have permission, so maybe he is showing restraint. I can’t think of anyone else that could sneak onto these lands without anyone knowing. Ivy House would alert us if it were anyone dangerous, though her lax treatment of flower theft is a dereliction of duty, in my opinion, even if it was deer. Which it still could be, even though deer poop gets all over. I haven’t seen any poop.”
“All animals poop,” Austin said, trying to step lightly through the flowers. A calla lily crunched under his boot. Edgar drew in a sharp breath. “I don’t see any tracks.”
“Correct. No hooves. Deer leave hoofprints—”
“We get it,” Niamh said. “You don’t think it’s a deer.”
“The basajaun didn’t leave any tracks when he ransacked my flowers the first time,” Edgar said. “Their magic keeps them from being detected in that way. No poop, and no tracks.”
Austin turned as Jess reemerged from the house in a flowing tent of a dress that blew against her side and outlined a shapely hip. He meant to turn away, his body tightening, but instead followed the outline to the swell of her full breast, unencumbered by a bra. A familiar ache overcame him as he watched her legs churn the fabric, sucking it into creases he’d dreamt of exploring. With his tongue.
He ripped his gaze away and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. “I’ll speak to Jess. Maybe it’s time to head up the mountain. That basajaun has a soft spot for her. I doubt it’ll lie.”
“Speak to me about what?” she said as she reached them.
“Visiting your hairy friend on his mountain. Maybe you can finally try your hand at scaring hikers.”
He earned a smile. “I’d be up for it. But we have to be back by dinner or my mother will pitch a fit.”
Austin looked back at the house, seeing Cedric jogging toward them, often late to the party, Earl not in tow. “No Earl?”
She rolled her eyes, resting her hand on his arm and nudging him toward the trees.
“No,” she said dryly, steering him deeper into the wood with the rest falling in behind them, Ulric and Jasper flanking the group. “He’s staying behind to, quote, make the parents more comfortable, unquote. What he’s really doing is protecting his interests. He doesn’t like that my mom is cooking and cleaning. It’s stressing him out. I think he is determined to wait on her whether she likes it or not. Unfortunately, she has the same end game with him. She’s about to go to the grocery store and Mr. Tom is trying to head her off. It’s warfare in there.”
“It’s funny,” Ulric said. “They are out-helping each other. Jessie’s mom doesn’t seem to notice the tiff, but Mr. Tom is getting more wound up by the second.”
“It’s only funny because it isn’t your mom and butler,” Jess said.
“This is true.”
She curled her hand around Austin’s arm. “This close enough?” She looked up at him as they walked, using her other hand to pull out the deep brown fabric covering her athletic frame. “You said to wear a muumuu, right?” She laughed, clearly delighted. “It’s actually a great idea for when we change. One piece of clothing, no stress.”
“That is a good idea,” Niamh said. “Have Earl order me one or two. Something other than brown, though. You look like a stack of turd.”
“No undies? For shame,” Ulric cried. “What has happened to your modesty?”
“You’ve all ruined me,” Jess replied, laughing.
Austin gritted his teeth, trying not to think about what was under that drab brown fabric.
He stopped, ripped off his shirt, and tossed it at Niamh to put in the sack. “Let’s get to it. We don’t want to be late for dinner.”