“We are guests, Pete. We don’t live here. Let’s go greet her before we all but move in.”
“That drip Matt isn’t here, so we don’t have to tiptoe around anymore. I’ll just bring the cooler. I could use a beer after that drive.”
“What do you mean, that drive?” My mom braced her fists on her hips. “I drove the last half!”
“I know. You frayed my nerves.”
I rolled my eyes and started forward, noticing Niamh sitting on her porch, watching the show with a smile. A Jeep Wrangler rolled down the street toward us, Austin behind the wheel, clearly making good on his pledge to watch the fireworks.
Fabulous. Everyone was present.
“Oh, hi!” My mom turned to greet me, only noticing my proximity when I was nearly upon her, her smile large and arms outstretched. I accepted a hug, then groaned with the squeeze.
“Hey ya, squirt.” Dad gave me a hug next, much looser, but the following pats on the back nearly beat the breath out of me. “So…” He stepped back and hiked up his pants, looking up at the house. His eyebrows slowly pinched together. He looked at the blue sky, then down the street, then back at the house. “You could do with a brighter paint. That one is too dark.”
“Honey!” My mom’s eyes were wide as she looked down my body. “Look at you! You look fantastic! Is it Zumba? I just got into a little Zumba myself. It’s hard on my knees, but if it worked this well for you, maybe I should try again.”
“You don’t know if it was Zumba,” my father said. “She didn’t say it was Zumba. It probably wasn’t those diet drinks you keep forcing on me, either.”
“I just worked out and ate well,” I murmured, forgetting about the transformation when I took the magic.
“And your skin!” My mom ran her hand down her cheek. “Chemical peel? I’ve heard chemical peels really give a nice glow. I’ve been meaning to try it.”
How did one tell their mother that the great skin was partially a result of having the first layer entirely burned away from a magical spell, and not dying from it because of magical healing?
“Yeah, chemical peel,” I murmured. Best just to lie a little.
“Well, you look fantastic. I made deviled eggs.” My mom gestured at one of the two coolers in the trunk. “And clam dip. They’ll still be good. We put a lot of ice in the coolers. I figured, we never had a party for Christmas, so we might celebrate a little while we’re here. Won’t that be nice?”
“Mom, why did you bring two coolers’ worth of food?” I asked as my dad struggled to lift the first out of the trunk. “I have everything.”
“Well, your father needed his beer…”
“I have beer, Dad. Wait, it’s stuck…” As I moved in to help my dad, I caught a glimpse of Austin out of the corner of my eye, coming closer. I also noticed a few strangers walking down the street toward Ivy House, their faces tilted up to marvel at the size of the structure. Which meant they’d be commenting on its creepiness next, and then waiting until we were gone and daring each other to sneak onto the property.
Niamh caught sight of them at the same time I did, braced herself, and stood slowly, rock in hand.
“Really? This has to happen right now?” I murmured.
“Blast this thing. Martha, I told you, you put too much stuff in the trunk,” my dad said.
“It’s not the stuff, it’s your muscles, Pete. They’ve atrophied. You should be exercising in retirement. Lifting a beer to your mouth is not exercising.”
“Depends on how many times you do it,” my dad responded.
“Here. Let me help.” Austin lightly jogged around the car, winking at me as he did so. “Let me help you, sir.”
Dad started, his eyes widening a little when he caught sight of Austin.
“Well, my goodness.” A smile slowly spread across my mom’s face. “Jacinta, who is this?”
“Oh, this is Austin. He’s a friend of mine.”
Niamh cocked back her hand and then let fly, a rock sailing through the air in a lazy arc before slamming against the arm of the teenage boy whose mouth had dropped open while looking at Ivy House. He jumped and grabbed the spot, the skin clearly smarting. When he looked around, he caught sight of Niamh straightening, having just picked up another rock.
“What the hell?” the kid hollered.
“We don’t want Peeping Toms around here,” Niamh yelled at them.
“It’s lookie-loos, not Peeping Toms,” I mumbled as the second projectile struck home, clunking the boy’s friend on the noggin.
“Ow!” The kid rubbed the offending spot.
“Is that old woman throwing rocks at those boys?” my mother said, aghast.
“Yeah, um…” I racked my brain for a way to put a positive spin on this. Niamh would surely be hanging out at Ivy House, and I didn’t want them to hate her. “We get some vandalism down this way, so Niamh tries to head them off. Ivy House is the oldest house in the town—it draws a lot of unwanted attention.”
“Ivy House? Is that—”
One of the boys rattled out a string of foul language as Niamh threw another rock.
“Did you hear that? Disgraceful, that language. Serves them right. Clearly they are up to no good.” My dad looked around his feet, but the only rocks in the vicinity were some decorative pea gravel. “I better help.”
“Dad, no. Leave it.” I patted his shoulder. “One crazy person on the block is enough. You don’t need to help her.”
“As if he could—he has terrible aim.” My mom clucked her tongue as the boys took off running. “I should make him clean around the toilet,” she said. “It’s more than a little sprinkle with those tinkles.”
Austin’s grin broadened.
“I could hit those kids from here,” my dad grumbled. “I’ve got good aim! My softball team won second place.”
“That was twenty years ago, Pete,” my mom said.
Austin reached into the trunk and pulled out one of the coolers, his biceps popping but showing no strain. “Should I take this to the house?”
“Oh, yeah, thanks.” My dad worked the other cooler out, heaving it from the car.
I reached for it. “I got it, Dad— Niamh, would you stop throwing rocks!” I yelled. She was still trying to hit the fleeing boys.
“Grab a bag.” My dad jerked his head at the duffel that had fallen from the corner of the trunk when the coolers were taken away. I grabbed it and hurried after them.
“It’s very gloomy, Jacinta,” my mother said, pulling a suitcase out of the back seat while looking up at Ivy House. “It looks like some sort of…black cloud is hanging over it, doesn’t it? It reminds me of Halloween.”
“Your mother is going blind, Jacinta,” my dad said over his shoulder. “She keeps losing her glasses.”
“Those are reading glasses, Pete. I don’t need them to see a big house. Look! It’s not even nighttime, but the window up there is glowing.”
“Listen to that, will ya, Austin? She fancies herself Stephen King now.” My dad shook his head as he made it to the porch. “Next she’ll say she sees a bat.”
Mr. Tom waited by the front door, his tuxedo as freshly pressed as ever and his posture straight and tall.
“Where do you want these?” Austin asked him.
“What…are those?” Mr. Tom asked. “They are visiting…with coolers? Like some sort of tailgaters?”
“Who’s this?” My dad half turned to me. “What’s he wearing, a tux with a cape? Is this one of those superhero convention things where everyone dresses up like a superhero? Is he some sort of James Bond with a Superman fetish or something? I didn’t bring a cape. I don’t even own a cape.”
“He’s the butler, Dad. He came with the house. Head to the kitchen, Austin.” I jerked my head to get him going. “Yes, Mr. Tom, they came with coolers. They get worried I won’t have the things they want, so they bring them. I thought maybe they’d trust me now, since I am no longer twenty, but here we are.”
“That’s your mother. I try to tell her, but she just won’t listen.” My dad set the cooler down just inside the door, opened the lid with a loud creaking noise, pushed aside a head of lettuce, and grabbed a can of beer. He held it out to me. “Wanna beer?”
Apparently we would not be waiting to get everything sorted in the kitchen.
“I would.” Niamh lifted her hand as she came up the walk, leaving my mother behind to continue rooting through the car. Lord knew what she was looking for, or why she didn’t just take everything out so the rest of us could help carry it in. “I’ll take one of them, if ye please.” Niamh stopped in front of my dad. “How’re ya? How’s it goin’? I’m Niamh from across the street.”
He passed over the can of beer before reaching down to grab another. He squinted at her. “Are you Irish?”
“Guilty. Leave that there,” she said as Dad started to mess with the cooler. “Come inside and sit down. Earl can handle all that.” She said it with the authority of one who lived there, an authority she deserved given she sat on the Ivy House council, but my parents didn’t know that. Still, my dad went with her willingly enough, muttering about her excellent aim and “punk kids.” Thank God she knew where I’d set up his TV lounge.
“A butler?” My mother finally caught up, rolling one suitcase and carrying another. “The house came with a butler? What sort of house comes with a butler?”
“It’s just…he had the job of caretaker, and when I bought the house, I didn’t want to turn him out.” I took the suitcase she held.
“Kinda weird with the cape, though,” she murmured as we finally crossed the threshold. “Does he always wear that, or is he trying to impress us somehow? Though I don’t know who would be impressed with a cape…”