“During these times, the feelings from the link are heightened. Incredibly heightened. It feels like you’re lying beside me. Or straddling me. The feeling of you when you aren’t here is better than I can remember anyone else feeling in the flesh. More consuming.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, my hips jerking against the mattress. “I don’t think it’s like this for everyone. From what Jasper said—”
A spark of rage blistered through the link, and strangely, any embarrassment that lingered from the conversation with Jasper eased, almost like Austin was squashing it dead.
“Thinking someone was there with you… I didn’t like it,” I admitted. “I’m not usually jealous, but…”
“Thinking of anyone with you…”
Another wave of rage pushed through me, sparking my adrenaline and heightening my pleasure. I didn’t understand why. I should be worried or afraid, ready to step in and calm him down. Instead, I could barely focus as I imagined his hands on me, his body filling mine.
“It’s your primal response to my primal reaction,” he said, clearly having deciphered my feelings. “My unconscious rage stems from wanting to crush any competition that seeks your hand. To claim you as mine. Your reaction to that mimics your desire for it to happen. If you were angry or scared, it would mean you didn’t like the match. It would mean you were worried about being taken by an alpha by force. Your pleasure means you’d welcome it.”
His rough tone caressed me, and while I was pretty sure I needed to be a shifter to feel and really understand all he’d said, there was no denying the aching rapture of his reaction.
“Friends that kiss and sometimes have late-night phone conversations,” I choked out, the feelings consuming, my thoughts frazzling.
“There’s no point in pretending anymore, Jacinta. Not after what happened at the bar.”
I meant to ask for clarification.
I ended up begging for more.
Nine
“Hey, Mom.” Jimmy trudged into the kitchen, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. Mr. Tom’s notable absence meant he was probably already ransacking Jimmy’s room for dirty clothes and dishes and whatever else he could clean. He probably worried Jimmy would be like my parents and try to clean up after himself. Or worse, clean up after Mr. Tom.
“Hey, bud. You hungry? Mr. Tom made some eggs and toast.”
He squinted at the digital clock on the oven. “You’re not pissed I’m up so late?”
“Ten thirty is about normal for me these days. We all keep late hours.”
“Sweet.” He opened the microwave. “Where?”
“Oven—”
“I’ll do that for you, don’t you worry.” Mr. Tom bustled past the kitchen in the hallway, heading for the laundry room with a hamper. “Just have a seat and I’ll be right there.”
Jimmy stared after him, his hair standing up in all directions, much like Sebastian’s last night.
Last night.
A wave of emotion rolled over me, both from my tandem release with Austin over the phone and also what he’d said. He’d promised he would see me today, and his voice had been rough and raw when he spoke about my reactions to him.
Something had shifted between us last night, and I wasn’t sure exactly what. We’d certainly muddied things with that phone call, but the physical stuff hadn’t been the deciding factor for him. He thought we’d turned a corner for other reasons, and I wasn’t sure what those were. I was nervous to find out what. Just as nervous as I was to climb the stairs and go into the office, to take the blood oath and accept my permanent place at Ivy House.
“Mom?”
“What’s up?” I straightened up from where I’d been slouching and lifted my eyebrows.
“I asked what the deal is with that butler.” Jimmy sat down beside me, content to have patience when there was the prospect of being waited on, just like his mother.
“He’s as weird as they come, bud. No other explanation for it.”
“But you pay him?”
“Kinda. The house funds pay him. He kinda…came with the house, like I said yesterday. Because of the…”
“Magic, yeah. I’m still trippin’, trying to piece reality back together. Like…Xbox doesn’t seem as interesting when you’ve seen a gargoyle, you know? I’ve seen a gargoyle!” He bent over the island. “I have seen…a gargoyle.” He swore, and I let him have that one.
“Now.” Mr. Tom reentered the kitchen, as pleased as I’d ever seen him. “What are we thinking, Master Jimmy? The works? You ate enough to feed an army last night; I can only assume you’ll eat all I’ve prepared for you today.”
“Yes, please.”
“There.” Mr. Tom nodded. “Manners. That is much better than the foul mouth I heard a moment ago.”
“What did you want to do today?” I asked as Mr. Tom compiled enough food for two. I knew none of it was for me. Apparently he wanted to test Jimmy’s stomach. “Do you want to check out the town, or—”
I felt Austin’s feet touch down on the walkway leading to the house and butterflies swarmed my stomach, quickly turning ravenous and beginning to eat through my stomach lining. My links were all closed down out of habit. I hadn’t expected him.
“Or a hike, maybe?” Jimmy said. “Mom?”
“Yes. Sorry. Yes, a hike would be great. Want to meet a Bigfoot?”
Jimmy just gaped at me.
“He is a basajaun,” Mr. Tom said with a sniff. “You’ll slip one day and call him Bigfoot to his face, miss, and then he won’t want to help you anymore. You’d better be careful.”
“He doesn’t know what a basajaun is—”
“I know what that is,” Jimmy cut in. “I can’t remember where it’s from.”
“Basque mythology portrays them quite well,” Mr. Tom said.
“Right, right.” Jimmy nodded as Mr. Tom delivered a heaping plate. “Mythology class, that’s right. Or maybe it was a dude in D&D who mentioned them. It’s bigger than a Bigfoot, right? Meaner?”
“He is very mean, yes. When you aren’t on his good side, at least.” I magically opened the front door as Austin reached it. “He loves magical flowers.”
“This is a trip. You are living the absolute best life.”
I glowed from within, trying not to preen at being the cooler parent for the first time ever. “It’s a crazy life, and it has some serious dangers.” Austin walked down the hall toward us. “It’s not all fun and games.”
“Well, I mean…” Jimmy pushed food into his cheek. “It is for me, right? Because I’m just visiting.”
“Smart boy.” Mr. Tom snapped up straight and turned toward the door as Austin entered. “Hello, Austin Steele, can I get you something to eat?”
Austin’s cobalt eyes burned as they beheld me, tracking me like prey, and I didn’t dare peek at the link.
“Hi,” I said, suddenly unsure where to put my hands. He’d always been the one uncomfortable with our closeness. I’d been the blasé one. The sudden shift wigged me out. Made me feel like a high schooler with a crush.
Jimmy’s fork slowed on the way up to his mouth, his eyes widening and the rest of him freezing.
“Hi. I’m Austin.” He put out his hand for Jimmy.
“They prefer fist bumps these days,” Mr. Tom said as though he were the leading expert on college-aged kids. “Or high fives.”
My son shook himself, lowering his fork. “Oh.” He pushed to standing, his face suddenly flushed. “Hi. Hello, sir.” He grabbed Austin’s hand, offering a hearty shake.
“It’s good to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Austin let go of Jimmy’s hand and stepped back, giving him space.
“Oh, yeah. That’s my mom.” Jimmy absently gestured at me, bending like a gawky teen. “You don’t… Ahhhmm.” He pointed at Austin’s chest. “I don’t see a cape—er, wings. Or…a cape?”
I frowned at him. When had he inherited my social awkwardness? He usually charmed the room like his father.
Austin rested a hand against the island. “I hear you got the lowdown on the hidden world within the world. I’m what’s called a shifter. I—”
“A shapeshifter, yeah.” Jimmy grinned. And then his lips went slack. “Sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Still frowning, I reached out to touch Jimmy’s arm. “Austin is a good friend of mine. You don’t have to be so formal.”
“Oh right. Yeah.” Jimmy slowly slid onto his stool, anything but comfortable. He was clearly reacting to Austin’s raw power, the lethal confidence he didn’t try to hide. “Sorry. Um, what do you turn into? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“A polar bear.”
“Oh…” Jimmy’s brow furrowed. “Aren’t you always hot?”
Austin spread his hands. “I’m magical. I can control that stuff.”
“Right, yeah.” A nervous laugh rode Jimmy’s exhale.
Austin’s attention shifted to me. Butterflies flitted against my ribs.
“I wanted to let you know that I’m bringing the shifters to train in the woods today. I’ll take them through the front yard so that there is plenty of warning. Just in case Ivy House is temperamental.”
“I’m feeling just fine,” she murmured.
“You’re good,” I told him.
“Also…” His eyes flicked to Jimmy and back. “I wondered if I might have a word with you?”
Nervousness filled me and I gulped.
“It’s not all that bad,” he teased, his eyes crinkling.
It felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like the world was imploding, and Austin was the only thing left to grab on to.