So she’d now been responsible for two divorces. Her OCD had gone off the rails then, and she’d become bulimic, to boot. She’d needed control during a time in which she’d felt she had none.
“Anyway, after that, The Aegis figured I needed closer Aegis supervision than any foster parents could have given me, and they were right. I went to headquarters, and during the first few months of training, my ability killed someone else. A Guardian this time.” She’d thought her colleagues would put her down right then and there. Fortunately, Valeriu, who had been the one who had argued to save her life in the first place, convinced the Elders to give her another chance. “Eventually, as I worked to master my abilities, the OCD got better. I was only twenty-two when I was promoted to the Sigil. Youngest ever.”
Youngest, but at twenty-two, she’d had more experience under her belt than most Elders, since she’d been literally raised to fight demons. Her first books hadn’t been about Dick and Jane. No, her foster parents read her stories straight out of Aegis battle accounts and species compendiums.
“And now you’re at the head of an organization that makes most demons tremble in their boots.”
“Well, the ones that wear boots, anyway.”
He chuckled, a smoky rumble, and she decided he needed to do that more often. His laughter touched her, tugged at happy emotions she’d been afraid to feel for so long.
“Regan?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m sorry if I scared you tonight.”
She smiled against his skin. “I’d say it’s Limos who deserves the apology. You made it up to me very well.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
He braced himself on one elbow, all stern and grim-faced. Even the braids at his temples hung in straight, serious ropes. Only Thanatos could have serious hair.
“I could have hurt you.”
She sighed. “You already told me what you came for, and it wasn’t to hurt me.” She held his gaze, which glittered with twenty-four-karat gold flecks in the light from the fire. “And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you wouldn’t harm your son.”
His voice was thick with emotion. “You don’t know what I’ve done, where I came from before I arrived—”
“Yes, I do,” she whispered. “We saw it on the news.”
His expression darkened. “The impalings.”
She nodded, her stomach clenching at the vivid imagery. “It was identical to the scene I saw through your tattoo.”
“It was Pestilence,” he said, his voice as stormy as his expression. “He staged it to make me remember.”
Okay, so while it was a relief to know Thanatos hadn’t impaled anyone last night, she still had that horrible scene from the past in her head.
“And those people from before…did you…” She couldn’t continue. And honestly, she hoped he wouldn’t answer. To know what he was capable of…
“No.” He swung his legs off the mattress and jammed his legs into a pair of sweats. “Ever hear of Vlad Tepes?”
“Vlad the Impaler. Also known as Dracula. Of course. Some of the first books my foster parents read to me were of his exploits.” She got a glimpse of his fine ass as he tugged the sweats up, and her stomach fluttered. There were fingernail scratches on his cheeks.
“And I thought demon parents were messed up,” he muttered. “Those people you saw in my tattoo were some of his victims. Inhabitants of a town he conquered. This was before he got really good at impaling people and killed thirty thousand in a single event.”
She frowned, remembering how Than’s Watcher had popped onto the scene and scolded him. “Then what was Gethel talking about when she said you’d gone too far?”
“I went into a killing rage and slaughtered the soldiers Vlad had ordered to impale the villagers. A lot of innocents were caught up in it.”
“I don’t understand. Ares is drawn to battle, and he fights in the human realm without mass casualties.”
“Yes, but he fights… he doesn’t necessarily need to kill. I need to kill. We’ve all learned a measure of control over the centuries, and while I’m drawn to death, I can generally control myself. But when I’m angry or hurt as well … sometimes things can get out of hand.”
How well Regan understood how things could get out of hand and have horrible consequences. The deaths and pain she’d caused because of her ability weighed her down like an anchor, leaving her hesitant to get close to anyone who might suffer because of it.
“So you got in trouble for killing the humans?” she asked, wondering what kind of punishment could be doled out to Horsemen. “Even the humans who were impaling innocent people?”
“Yes. Though some of the soldiers were ter’taceo. And Vlad himself was half demon. Ares and I eventually killed him on the battlefield.”
“You killed him?”
Than shrugged. “We didn’t hunt him down… our Watchers won’t let us interfere in human affairs or politics unless we’re drawn to a specific scene. And even then, people who are important to the human timeline are protected by angels called Memitim, and we can’t kill them until they’re no longer under protection. Do you remember Idess, from Limos and Arik’s wedding? She used to be Memitim.” He threw on a black T-shirt, covering his magnificent chest. Shame, that. “Anyway, we caught Tepes at the right time. No longer protected.”
“So what was your punishment?”
“Lightning.”
She sat up, frowning. “You were struck by lightning?”
“Over a hundred times.” A darkly grim smile curved the corners of his mouth. “Angels are not the most merciful creatures. Not that I deserved mercy.”
God, she could only imagine how horrific that must have been for him. Regan had never been the cuddly type, but she felt like hugging him close, as if doing so could erase the pain.
She wanted to ask more questions, but her eyes felt like they’d been sandblasted, and she couldn’t smother a yawn. Thanatos smiled, a stunner that would have had her inviting him back into bed if she hadn’t been on the verge of coma.
“Get some sleep. I’ll send in the hound, but I won’t be far.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I have some more staff members to interrogate.” He winked. “I’ll try to keep their screams at a minimum.”
Yeah, he really did have a quirky sense of humor. Especially because she had no doubt he was actually serious.
Twenty-four
Thanatos strode out of the bedroom, and despite the fact that the world was going to hell in a handbasket, he actually felt… good. He and Regan had healed some wounds, and maybe, just maybe, had laid the foundation for some sort of relationship once the baby was born.
They just had to make the world safe for the baby first.
He touched his finger to his lips as he moved down the hall, still feeling the tingle of her kiss. She was so damned beautiful. He’d been attracted to her before, when she’d been sleek and hard-bodied, her toned, muscular frame marked by battle scars that she wore like badges of honor. But pregnancy had added another dimension to her beauty, and when before all he’d wanted was to get her out of the house, now he wanted to keep her all to himself.
“Is everything okay?” Ares’s voice came from the end of the hallway. “Limos is nursing one hell of a headache, and Arik wants to shove an M-80 up your ass.”
“Kinky,” Than said, “but I’m new to the sex thing. I’m not ready for hardcore yet.”
Ares rolled his eyes. “Where’s Regan?”
“Sleeping.” He held up his hand. “And yes, she’s fine.”
“What happened after Limos left? She said you were crazed. She was worried about Regan and the baby.”
He wouldn’t have hurt them. He wouldn’t have. A niggling voice pointed out how out of his mind he was, and that he’d killed his own father and best friend during death rages. But this was different. He seemed to gain a measure of control in Regan’s presence. Well, maybe not control… but the urge to kill shifted into an urge to get inside her.
And what if she’s gone? What then? What would happen to your son when you’re in a death spiral?
Fuck. He glared at Ares. “Nothing happened.”
“Dammit, Than,” Ares said, clearly exasperated. “I’m not some stranger off the street. I’m your brother. Talk to me.”
At this point, Than had two options: tell Ares to f**k off, or confide in him. They’d always been close, but Reseph had more often been the one Than opened up to. Reseph’s laid-back, fun-loving manner had made it easy to talk, where Ares had always been more intense, and he had a tendency to lay out a battle plan to solve whatever it was you brought up to him.
Than settled for a simple, “We worked some things out.”
“And?”
“And what?” Thanatos started down the hall, hoping Ares would take the hint that Than really didn’t want to talk about this, but nope. Ares fell into step with him.
“What is it you want from Regan? Are you planning to kick her out after the baby is born? Do you want her to stay? Do you want to take her as a mate? Or do you just want sex?” Ares lowered his voice to a deep, dark, drawl. “Or are you planning revenge? Maybe to kill her?”
“What?” Thanatos tripped over his own guilt and missed a step. “No.”
Clearly, Ares didn’t believe him, grabbed him by the shoulder, his fingers scoring his skin through the T-shirt. “I’m not judging, bro. I lived with so much hatred in my heart after my wife and sons died. But if you hurt or kill her, someday you’ll have to explain to your son why you did it.”
“I’m not planning to hurt her.” Than peeled his brother’s fingers off his shoulders. “I just want her to give me my son without a damned fight.”