Home > Haven (Relentless #5)(6)

Haven (Relentless #5)(6)
Author: Karen Lynch

It grew chilly sitting there in only shorts and a tank, but I couldn’t make myself get up and go back to bed. The dreams I’d been able to forget temporarily because of my unexpected visitors came back with perfect and heartless clarity. No matter how much I tried to block them out, the ghosts of my past were always there, forcing me to relive their horrors over and over.

I was raised Catholic, and I was taught there was a heaven and a hell and a place in between. A place where God sent you to suffer your sins until he decided to take you into heaven or send you to hell. I’d stopped believing in God after a week with Eli. God couldn’t be real and abandon me to that kind of horror.

Now I wondered if he was real after all. I’d lived in hell, and my soul was too tattered to go to heaven.

Maybe this was my purgatory.

* * *

I grimaced and scrubbed at the skillet for what seemed like the hundredth time. How could anyone burn eggs so badly, even someone who hadn’t touched a stove in twenty years? I’d thought I’d be able to make scrambled eggs, at least. Good luck there.

Letting the skillet slide back into the hot, soapy water, I looked at the two blackened slices of bread sitting in the toaster. Tears pricked my eyes. I couldn’t do anything right. What was I thinking, trying to do this on my own?

Laughter reached my ears through the window I’d opened to let the smoke out. I looked down at the two teenage girls walking along the waterfront, shopping bags swinging from their arms. They were probably sixteen, and seeing them brought back a memory of going to the mall with my best friend Chelsea. Back then, my biggest worries had been what clothes to wear and how to convince my parents to let me stay out an hour later. I’d had no idea that monsters existed outside of my nightmares.

Stop this. One thing I’d learned since I’d been healed, it was that there was no use in looking back at what might have been. The past was the past, and I couldn’t change it. I’d gotten a chance to start over, something no other vampire victim could do. For them, the only release from that life was death. Sara saw something in me that had made her save me, and I wouldn’t repay her kindness by wallowing in self-pity.

It was a beautiful sunny day, and I was hiding out in this apartment when I should have been out there exploring and getting to know my new home. I came here to start over, and it was time to get on with it.

I dried my hands on a towel and went to my room to change into capris and a light top. There was a slight chill in the breeze coming through the window, so I grabbed a thin sweater in case I needed it. Cold was another sensation I was adjusting to. Vampires didn’t like extreme cold, but they could tolerate lower temperatures than humans. This past winter in Idaho was the first time I’d been cold in a long time.

I stuffed the sweater in my messenger bag along with my wallet and phone, and headed for the door, feeling optimistic and free.

Ringing came from my bag as I opened the door, and I grabbed for my phone. Only a handful of people had my number, and I would happily talk to any one of them.

I didn’t recognize the number on the screen, and I answered hesitantly. “Hello?”

“Hey stranger! How’s Maine?”

“Sara!”

Lightness spread through my limbs at hearing her voice, and I realized how much I’d missed her. I’d gotten so used to seeing her every day.

“I didn’t expect to hear from you today. Shouldn’t you be resting after your trip?”

“I have a little jetlag, but nothing I can’t handle. I slept for most of the flight. Besides, I wanted to talk to you and see how you’re doing. Do you like the apartment?”

“It’s wonderful. Thank you so much for everything, especially the studio.” I didn’t mean to get emotional, but my throat tightened anyway. “It’s too much. I can’t ever repay you…”

“None of that,” she ordered softly. “What else should I do with my money if I don’t take care of my family? And you are my family. You couldn’t get rid of me now if you tried.”

I laughed as tears spilled down my cheeks. For so long, my life had been dark, an endless cycle of violence and blood. Sara not only saved me from that, she had shown me her enormous capacity for love, and she’d refused to let me withdraw into myself. Whenever I’d felt alone, she’d told me over and over that she and Nate were my family now. She’d made me believe there was something worth living for on the days I hadn’t wanted to.

“Don’t you cry because then I’ll start, and Nikolas will want to know what’s wrong. You know how he is.”

“Yes.” I swiped at my wet cheeks.

“It’s so weird that you’re living in my place, and you’ll be seeing all the people I used to know.”

“Does it bother you that I’m here? Because I can go somewhere else. It’s no problem –”

“No, I love having you there,” she rushed to say. “I hated the idea of the place being empty, so you’re actually doing me a favor.”

“Okay.”

“I guess it’s too early to ask who you’ve met there. You know I’m hoping you’ll change your mind about meeting Roland and Peter.”

I swallowed, thinking of the two werewolves standing in my bedroom doorway. “Um, I kind of met them already.”

“You did?” Excitement filled her voice. “You called them?”

“Not exactly.” I took a breath and told her what had happened last night.

“Oh, Emma, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m good now. I was a little freaked out last night, but I think they were too when they found a strange girl in your place.” A little freaked out. Talk about an understatement.

“What a way to start your stay there.”

I smiled. “Not what I expected, but I should have known better after all your stories about this place.”

“And now that you’ve met Roland and Peter you can see how great they are,” she pressed gently. “They ran in there to save you even though they had no idea who you were.”

I toyed with the strap of my bag that still hung on my shoulder. “They seemed nice...”

“But they’re werewolves,” she finished for me. “I understand, and I’ll try not to push. It’s just that they’re great guys and I think you’ll love them, too, once you get to know them. That’s all I’m going to say about it. I promise.”

“Thanks.” I let out a breath. “How’s Russia?”

“Amazing,” she gushed. “I met Nikolas’s parents, and they’re great. His dad looks so much like him they could be brothers. It’s a bit weird, actually. I think it’ll take some getting used to.”

“Two Nikolases? I can’t imagine.”

She laughed. “There can only be one Nikolas. And speak of the devil…”

I heard some rustling sounds on the other end of the line along with the unmistakable sounds of kissing. After a minute, Sara came back.

“Where were we?”

I chuckled. “You were telling me there can only be one Nikolas.”

“So true.” She sighed happily.

Nikolas spoke, and Sara said, “Give me one more minute.”

“You have to go?” I asked, feeling a pang of disappointment.

“We’re having dinner with Nikolas’s parents. His mom is making a special dinner to celebrate our mating.”

“That sounds nice.” I’d forgotten they were hours ahead of me, which made it evening there now. “Have fun.”

“I’ll call you in a few days, okay?” She sounded happy, but there was an edge of worry in her voice. Worry for me. “And if you need anything or just want to talk, call me anytime. I’m on the house phone now, but I have my cell phone.”

“I will. Don’t worry about me. I was about to go out and look around when you called.”

“Great! Go to Bill’s Bakery and have a chocolate croissant. You’ll thank me.”

We hung up, and I stood in the hallway, feeling a strange mix of happiness and melancholy. Sighing, I let myself out and locked the door.

   
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