“Two pissed in one conversation,” I teased, voice cracking. “That’s twice the pissed I thought you were capable of.”
“The real me, it seems, has unresolved anger issues where Boaz is concerned.”
“Me too.”
Only he hadn’t absconded with my sketchbook, he had stolen my heart. A corner of it at least. But even now, when a poker to the eye would have been kinder than seeing him again, I wasn’t sure what hurt worse. Losing one of my oldest friends or the potential we had to be more. I worried the wound might not heal right if I didn’t know what type of weapon had inflicted it in the first place.
Which kind of love cut this deep? That was the question. A lifetime spent doubting Boaz, the tiny pieces he gave away to all the other girls, never the whole, even to me, was answer enough. When I tested the ache, I bled from the same tender injury, the one hidden behind my ribs, that Amelie had dealt me.
Maybe I had never believed in happily ever afters. Or maybe I had never believed in one with him.
Acknowledging the source didn’t make me hurt any less, but maybe it would help with that whole healing thing.
“I just…need one thing to be real.” I drifted closer until our elbows brushed as we walked. “I would like that thing to be you.”
Head lowering, like he didn’t want to watch if I rejected the arm he wrapped around my shoulders, he tucked me against his side. “You’re the only one who sees me, who’s ever wanted to see all of me.” His hand was a cool weight that reassured, and when he brushed his lips over my hair, I leaned into him. “I’m never realer than when I’m with you.”
Content with that answer, I hooked an arm around his waist and took him for hot chocolate he wouldn’t drink, which doubled my serving. That meant, for tonight at least, he qualified as the perfect guy.
Eight
Mallow just wasn’t the same without Amelie, but four mugs of hot chocolate went a long way toward filling the hole left by her absence. With calories. The extra marshmallows helped too. Especially the baggie of fluffy hand cut squares Linus bought for me to bring home when I indicated a fifth cup might be called for. One he offered to make. Once we got back to Woolly. It was a cheap bribe, but I took it. If there was one thing better than their hot chocolate, it would be his.
“You can’t drown your sorrows in chocolate” was his sage advice.
“Literally no one believes you” was my less sage response.
The next evening, however, I was spared from the dream waking me thanks to my bladder. After I sloshed to the bathroom to relieve myself and showered, I dressed in jeans and a tee, both new with nary a hole to be seen, and joined Linus in the kitchen. Or, I would have, had he been in there.
“Linus?” I checked the office in case he had gotten absorbed in a book, but he wasn’t there either. “Woolly, have you seen him?”
In answer, Woolly killed all the lights in the house and plunged me into darkness.
“Is that a no?”
The light in the room next to this one flickered on, and I went to investigate. Room to room, she led me to the front door, which she opened and then shut.
“He left?”
The foyer chandelier tinkled an affirmative.
“I’m not sure I remember how to breakfast without him.” I glanced back at the kitchen but wrote it off as a loss. There was no food in there. Only ingredients. “Guess I’m ordering takeout.” I stepped onto the porch. “Midas?” Thanks to his heightened senses, I wasn’t reduced to yelling. “You out here?”
“He’s on a grocery run,” Lethe called back. “What’s up?”
“I was going to invite him to join me for breakfast since Linus ditched me.” Yeah, yeah. I didn’t have to sound so bitter. The guy misses one morning, and I lose my cool. This is why they say not to feed wild animals. Once you tame them, they develop expectations. Bacon was now one of mine. “Would you care to join me?”
“I could eat.” She walked into view, grinning. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait on him? He’ll be back any minute.”
“Nah. You’ll do.” I waved her up the stairs. “I’ve gotten used to having company for breakfast.”
Lethe snickered. “That sounds like one of my lines.”
“What…? Oh.” I laughed too. “I’ve gotten used to having company join me for breakfast. Better?”
“Much.” She pressed her palm to the column nearest the topmost step, allowing Woolly to get a read on her before she joined me on the porch. “Don’t get me wrong, I come from a long line of women who aren’t afraid of chewing people up and spitting them out, but breakfast is sacred.”
To shifters and necromancers apparently. “Bacon.”
“Bacon,” she agreed.
“I’m glad we had this conversation.” I showed her into the kitchen. “What do you like?”
“Meat, meat, and more meat. I’ll take a side of meat with that if you’ve got it.”
Tears threatened at this moment of perfect kinship. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”
“I get that a lot.” She flipped her blue hair behind her shoulder then settled her hand over her stomach. “Not gonna lie, the amount of meat I can consume turns guys on.”
I spluttered a laugh that got caught in my throat. Grinning wide, she gave me a moment to recover.
“Is Hood still in the doghouse?” I reached for the fridge. “Was that in poor taste? I didn’t mean…”
“I know what you meant, and it definitely applies here.” She placed a hand over her stomach. “It’s not like I asked him to stay at home and knit beer cozies. I asked him to sleep eight extra hours while holes in his body filled in. I feel skin is an important part of that whole keeping organs inside our bodies where they belong thing.”
“I agree. Skin is essential. Skin without holes is even better.”
“See? You get it.” She noticed her hand, noticed me trying not to notice her hand, and barked out a laugh. “You don’t have to waste your acting skills on me. I know you know I’m pregnant. Midas is a blabbermouth. I told him thirty-six hours ago. I’m willing to bet you a strip of crispy bacon from my plate that he told you within the first twenty-four.”
“As much as it pains me to turn down free bacon, I can’t rat him out for loving his sister.”
While she mumbled about girls sticking together, I dialed up the Waffle Iron and placed our order.
That done, I wrenched open the fridge. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Orange juice, please.”
“Hope you like fresh-squeezed.” A kiss of cool air hit my face as I scanned the shelves. “My live-in chef is particular.”
I lost the thread of our conversation when I spotted the stainless-steel cup sitting on the top shelf. It was one of those double-walled deals that was popular at the moment, and it didn’t belong to me. There was a note folded and propped in front of it, and I reached for that and the drink, having an idea of its contents.
“What’s that?” Lethe flared her nostrils. “Smells fruity, and coppery.”
“Pre-breakfast,” I told her, certain that was the case. “Linus left it for me.”
“Oh?” Casual as you please, she propped up on the counter. “Where was he off to in such a rush?”
“Let’s find out.” I unfolded the note and read it aloud. “I was summoned to the Lyceum on business. I should return before you wake, but if not, here’s breakfast. Yours, Linus.”
“Huh.” She crossed her legs and started kicking one of her ankles. “I didn’t realize necromancers courted with food too.”
“He’s not courting me.” I tucked the note away in a drawer, and the way she tracked the move made me wish I had thrown it in the trash instead. “I’m a science experiment. This is putting a theory into practice.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“I’m serious.”
“All I’m saying is there’s blood in that drink, and its smells an awful lot like Linus.” She drew on the marble countertop with her fingertip. “The fact he’s not only feeding you, but sustaining you with a part of himself…”
“It’s complicated.” Explaining Maud set us on this path took more effort than I had to expend this early.
“These things usually are,” she agreed on a sigh. “Lucky for us, breakfast is easy.”
So was our chatter while we waited on the food to arrive, and it was nice having a girl to talk to again.
The doorbell rang after she stood, breaking off her last comment, her keen ears picking up the delivery vehicle’s approach. She pointed at the front door, and we both went to greet the driver. An extra set of hands was a must considering the size of the order. I paid, tipped well for quick service, then divvied up the bags with Lethe to carry into the kitchen.
While she started shoveling in sausage and ham and bacon, I sipped my smoothie.
The weird factor sank in without Linus around to make drinking blood seem more clinical and less my new reality.
“That’s not getting any colder.” She pointed a crisp strip at me. “No one likes congealed bacon grease.”
“I’m supposed to drink all of this before I eat.” Truth be told, I didn’t mind. The flavor, as long as I divorced my mind from the source, didn’t offend. And it satisfied me in a way food hadn’t in a long time. “I’ll make it quick.” I slurped to prove a point and then winced. “Brain freeze.”
“Have you tried it warm?”
“It’s a smoothie.” I caught her meaning about the time she laughed. “Blood?” I wrinkled my nose. “No.”
“Hey, don’t knock it ’til you try it.” She gestured between us with the same piece of bacon. “From one predator to another, nothing beats it hot from the source.”