Ben and Zeno both stared at her.
“What?” she said. “You don’t like it when I call you my human, so I’ve been thinking of other things I can call you instead of that.”
Ben could feel the headache starting in his temples. “Do you even know what a life coach is?”
She threw up her arms. “Does anyone really know what a life coach is? I’m living in Los Angeles. They’ll just think I’ve gone crazy.”
“—er,” Ben said. “Crazier. And don’t call me your life coach.”
Zeno asked, “So what are you?”
“I’m…” Ben sighed. “I don’t know. Impatient to hear the rest of this.”
“Fine.” Tenzin hopped off his back and onto the table. “I wanted to ask Zeno some questions anyway.”
“Ask me what?”
“About Alfonso,” she said. “He’s the one who wants me to find his lost Sicilian tarì.”
“Tarì,” Zeno said. “Medieval tarì?”
Tenzin nodded. “These were minted during the twelfth century by Roger the Second.”
“I don’t think of Roger as a very Italian name,” Ben said.
“He wasn’t. He was Norman.” Zeno stepped forward. “Truly? Twelfth-century tarì?”
“Alfonso had a very large chest of them. Rare, but I think they have sentimental value of some kind.”
Zeno asked, “Was this chest in the library in Naples?”
“The big heist?” Tenzin grinned. “No, I don’t think so, but I don’t know the details. I just know Alfonso used to have them, and now he doesn’t. And he wants me to find them.”
Ben was suspicious. “Why you?”
“Because I’m good at finding things.” She paused. “And I might have let it slip in some circles that I’d heard rumors about a hoard of medieval gold coins.”
Ben’s suspicions grew. “And had you? Heard rumors?”
She cocked her head to the side. “Not… precisely.”
“It figures,” Ben said, gathering up his messenger bag. “Zeno, do you have any weapons I can use? I have a feeling this is going to be one of those vacations.”
“I didn’t invite you on vacation!” she yelled. “I told you this was a working holiday.”
“Yes,” Zeno interrupted. “Working in Naples. Does Giovanni know?”
“No,” she said. “Does he need to?”
“Well yes, because Alfonso is crazy,” Zeno said. “And you’re taking his son there.”
“Not his son!”
“Alfonso hired me,” Tenzin said. “And I’ve met him before… I think. I hardly think he’s going to hurt Ben or me unless we try to double-cross him.”
“Well yes,” Zeno said. “It’s entirely possible that you will get there and he will decide you have offended him in some inexplicable way and he’ll kill you. Because he’s mad. They call him the Mad Spaniard.”
Ben turned to Zeno. “Like… regularly? That’s his regular nickname? The Mad Spaniard?”
Why, why, why did she think this was a good idea?
“Not all the time,” Zeno said.
Tenzin added, “Sometimes they call him the Mad Duke.”
“So much better!” Ben threw up his hands and started pacing.
“But I don’t know if he was really a duke or not.” Tenzin shrugged. “It might just be one of those rumors. And Zeno, Alfonso could certainly try to hurt Ben or me,” Tenzin said through a wicked smile. “That might be entertaining.”
“Not from my perspective,” Ben said.
“What do you want to know?” Zeno asked.
“What is his political situation right now?”
“Tenuous,” Zeno answered. “But it is always so. His longest-serving advisor is a vampire named Filomena. She’s powerful but doesn’t seem to want the spotlight. Known to be vicious. You’d like her, I think.”
“Because she’s vicious?” Ben asked.
Zeno smiled. “Because she’s straightforward. Filomena is probably the only reason Alfonso has stayed in power this long. She tempers him. The napoletana court is small, paranoid, and insular. Many of them came to Naples before Bonaparte. They don’t truly consider themselves Italian, and they don’t recognize Rome.”
Ben asked, “And Emil Conti lets them get away with that?”
Zeno shrugged. “Naples is not his concern at present, though it would be better if the library theft had not happened. Now people are paying attention to it. Now some of his own people have lost possessions, which is why he’s been putting pressure on Giovanni and Beatrice to take on Roman clients. Mostly Conti would like to pretend that Naples does not exist. Alfonso does pretend that Rome does not exist. As long as the status quo is maintained, everyone is happy.”
Tenzin’s head fell back. “The status quo is boring.”
“And safe.” Ben patted her head. “Remember that part.”
“Fine,” she said. “So we avoid pissing Alfonso off, keep Filomena in sight if things look like they’re going… sideways, find his gold, and get out of there.”
“Alfonso is known to be greedy,” Zeno said. “If he wants you to find his gold, make sure you don’t keep any souvenirs.”