“I’ll never ask you to do that again,” I say and then unable to take it anymore, I lean in and give him a hug. “I’ll never make you do anything that will hurt you ever again.” God, he smells so good, I need to lean back. I give myself a few more seconds and then I pull away. I shake off the sensation to lean against him and tilt my neck to the side. It makes me feel so guilty because of Alex.
Alex. I should be thinking of Alex, shouldn’t I? I have no idea anymore. Alex or Laylen? How about both? What the hell is wrong with me?
As I sift through my thoughts of what’s right and what’s wrong, images begin to flicker through my mind as the prickle lightly begins to poke at the back of my neck At first it’s stuff I can already remember, but then suddenly they start to reveal lost thoughts from a place and time I once was forced to forget.
Alex and me picking lilacs in a field; watching other Keepers practice sword fighting in the castle; playing, having fun, smiling.
“Gemma, what’s wrong?” Laylen’s voice is far away as I begin to feel disembodied.
“I think I can remember some stuff…about my childhood…about Alex and I being friends.”
“You remember?” he asks. “Like actually remember?”
I nod as my vision goes in and out of focus. “They’re real memories... And I can feel how I felt when I was there… God, this is so strange….”
The emotions I experienced during each memory link to my heart, mind, body, and conclusively my soul, the most important part. In the end, it’s just Alex and me. Together. Like we were never supposed to be apart and all I can do is drift into the memory, letting it take me over.
***
When my sight returns to me, I’m no longer at Adessa’s. I panic as I look around at the trees of a forest even though this has happened before. I’ve gone into a vision without a crystal. But how? How is this even possible?
Thick trees enclose me from every side and a grey stone castle peeks through the top while, far in the distance, the sun shines behind it. It has to be the forest near the lake—the entrance to The Underworld. I can feel it in the air, in my mind, in my body.
The sky is a clear blue and the air smells like earth and musk. Not knowing what else to do, I head for the castle, wondering why I’m here. What am I supposed to see exactly?
I’m about halfway there when a cool breeze sweeps through my hair and kisses at my cheeks. The impulse to go to the castle floats away. Suddenly, I’m turning around, heading in the opposite direction, and going deeper into the forest, my feet moving as if they have their own mind.
I hike for what seems like forever, stumbling over fallen tree trunks and fighting against the unruly, blooming branches. Finally, I come to a stop in front of a steep hill. I need to go up it, yet I don’t understand why. Obeying, I move to the side and start searching for something I know is hidden on the hill. After a while, I get frustrated because I have no clue what I’m looking for or how long I’m going to have to keep looking, but then I spot something that makes me pause. A bush budding with violet flowers, growing out of the middle of the hill. I hike up to it, my boots battling the loose, rocky dirt, and then I pick one of the violet flowers. The smell is intoxicating and causes more images of my past to spin in my head. I’ve been to this place before and picked these flowers… I remember the flower in Alex’s car and how he told me I used to pick them for him when we were younger.
I squat down and start digging through the damp soil as I inch around to the back of the bush. Behind it is a small hole in the ground. I hoist myself up to it and peer down. There’s a ladder that leads to a bottom where a light filters from somewhere.
I take a deep breath and lower my feet to the top step of the ladder. Then I start to climb down, my hands sweating against the cool metal until my feet reach the floor. I immediately spin around, fearing what I’m going to see. Visions have never been kind to me and I half expect Stephan to come charging out to stab me.
I’m standing in a hollowed out room, made of dirt as well as the roots of a tree. There’s a rustic wooden table against the back wall where a candle is burning. Next to the table is a metal trunk, and in front of the trunk is a young girl with long, brown hair, violet eyes, and wearing a purple dress. It’s me, the younger version anyway. I’m probably around four years old, which means there’s a good chance that my soul and memories are still intact.
Sitting across from me is a little boy with his legs crisscrossed and a pocketknife in his hand. He has dark brown hair and bright green eyes that shine like emeralds. It’s Alex when he was younger. Alex and me. Together.
“So, what do you think’s going to happen?” the younger version of me asks as she plays with a large sapphire, rolling it in the dirt. “After they take me away?”
Alex shakes his head and gently takes the sapphire from her, tossing it across the room into the trunk in the corner. It lands inside, making a soft thud as it hits the bottom. “I don’t know, Gemma. I really don’t.”
“Do you think we’ll ever see each other again?” she asks, tracing circles in the dirt with her fingers.
He nods, scraping the blade of the pocketknife into the dirt. “I promise we will, no matter what anyone says.”
Tears bubble in the corner of her eyes, and I can actually feel her fear, worry, and sadness stirring with in me as I remember this exact moment. “Do you think Marco and Sophia will be nice to me?” she asks.
“How could they not be nice to you?” Alex says. “No one could ever be mean to you, Gemma.”
My mouth turns downward at his words. It’s such a nice, free moment between us and I’m a little shocked. This is what we were like together? So comfortable. I almost feel sorry for us, we were too naïve to see what was going to happen to us.
“I have an idea,” Alex says, holding the pocketknife up in front of him. “How about you and I become blood brothers?”
She scowls at him and folds her arms. “I’m not a boy.”
Alex laughs and I do, too. “Okay, how about blood friends?”
Tears escape her eyes and roll down her cheeks. “What do I have to do to become one?”
“I’ll make a little cut on my hand and on yours, then we press them together and make a promise, okay?”
She looks wary. “Will it hurt?”
“Only for a minute,” he promises.
She wipes the tears away from her cheeks with her hands. “Okay, let’s do it.”
She stretches her hand to Alex and he carefully makes a small incision in her palm with the tip of the knife. She winces and I glance down at the small scar on my palm. I never knew where it came from and I once made a joke to Alex about it, saying a guy cut me there. He’s known all along what it was from and never said anything.
Alex makes a tiny cut in his palm, then drops the knife to the ground and raises his hand out in front of him. “Okay, put yours up to mine.”
She presses her palms to his with a beaming grin on her lips.
“Forem,” Alex utters. “Now you say it.”
She takes a deep breath. “Forem.”
Alex smiles as he drops his hand to his lap. “There, that’s all it takes.”
“But what does forem mean?” she asks, wiping the blood form her hand with her finger.
“It means—”
“Alex!” Someone yells from above the ground.
The children’s eyes become round and Alex jumps to his feet. “We have to go.” He holds out his hand and helps her to her feet.
“Do you think your dad will be mad at us,” she asks, panicking as they head past me toward the ladder. “For disappearing?”
“I don’t know,” Alex says. “Let’s just hurry up, okay?”
She glances around at the little hideout with a sad look on her face, like she’ll never see the place again, and then she nods. “Okay.”
They climb up the ladder and I follow them. As I step out from the behind the violet bush, I see Stephan waving his finger as he scolds them. I don’t want to see what happens next because I have a feeling I already know. The friendship will get crushed, a soul will be broken, and I’ll forget that it ever happened. I know because I can pretty much feel it coming. It’s heartbreaking to think about and know that this is what will be destroyed. For a second I find myself wishing I could forget it again and go back to unknowing.
I shut my eyes and sink down into the ground, waiting to be yanked away, thinking I’m going back, but suddenly I’m drowning in darkness.
Evil darkness.
Chapter 11
My skin is on fire, raging like a desert storm. The heat claws at my skin, bites at it, gnawing it’s way into my soul as I fly helplessly through the seemingly endless darkness.
The further I go, the hotter I get until I can’t take it anymore. I stretch out my arms, glancing at them, however the darkness is too thick and weighted to see them at all. I open my mouth to shout for help, but my voice is lost in my own head.
I get dragged further into the desolate place and start to give up hope of ever seeing the light of day again. Yet then a light forms around me, lighting up my ghostly pale skin and orbing through the darkness, allowing me to see where I am.
I’m nowhere. Lost in nothingness. Destined to be no one.
As a triangular shape forms on my skin, swirling upward before dipping down in a ray of light, I realize that I could become someone. A strong someone. A powerful someone.
I could become the darkness.
My eyes shoot open and I gasp for air, my skin is covered with sweat. Laylen’s face appears in my line of vision, kneeling to the side of the sofa where I lie flat on my back. He looks horrified, his skin a sickly green.
“What the hell just happened?” he asks, his blue eyes wide beneath his blond hair.
I start to sit up, scratching my arm, even though there’s no triangular shape on it. “I have no idea.
He puts his hand on my shoulder and pins me down to the sofa. “Don’t sit up until we figure out why you passed out.”