“Dixie, what’s the deal with Journey?” I asked, pressing my hands to my sides so I didn’t raise them over my head and sway.
“Daddy loves Journey. You could say he’s obsessed. He can’t wait till they all die and he can have his own personal Journey concerts in Hell. He was heartbroken when Steve Perry quit the band. He didn’t come out of his suite for a month.”
Wait. What? That was just weird. So weird I didn’t know what to say. Hell had rendered me speechless several times in one day. Ethan would be impressed. My gut clenched at the thought of what he must be going through. I wondered if there was a way to communicate with him. Were there phone lines to Earth? Would Satan let me use one? Would Dixie? Would Myrtle?
The foyer was full of Demons, from the most high ranking, who were sipping expensive champagne, to the lowliest, who were serving it. I didn’t see my Uncle Satan anywhere, but I did catch Amanda the consort greeting guests as if she owned the place. Gross.
“Thank Beelzebub, Cole is on her,” Dixie muttered as she snagged two champagnes for us.
“What do you mean?” I asked, staring stupidly at the glass in my hand. Did I try to take a sip? Could I eat down here? I could breathe and see myself . . .
“The man tailing Amanda, the wanking bitch, is my dad’s second in command, Cole. I’m glad that someone who has my father’s ear can see what an opportunistic skank she is.”
“Right,” I said, still eyeballing my glass.
“Drink it, it’s wonderful champagne. Daddy has the finest vineyard on all the planes of existence.”
“That’s lovely, but I’m a Vampyre. I drink blood, not grape juice.”
“Okay, ewww, but you’re a Demon too and you’re in Hell. Try it.”
I lifted the glass to my lips feeling like I was somehow betraying my Vampyre heritage, but when in Hell . . . Forcing a bright smile I took a sip and it tasted like ass. Not that I knew what ass tasted like, but it was bad, stinky and gross and I couldn’t have been happier. There was still some Vamp in me. I spit the offending liquid back into the glass and grinned.
“Bad?” Dixie laughed.
“Very,” I choked out.
“And that makes you happy why?”
“Because I haven’t totally lost myself.”
“I don’t get it, but I’m glad you’re happy. Come on, let’s get this evening over with.”
“Lead on, dear cousin.”
Chapter 7
The Grand Ballroom was even more ornate than the Foyer. The marble floors were encrusted with precious gemstones; rubies, sapphires, emeralds, and diamonds and ten of the most gorgeous crystal chandeliers I’d ever seen spilled down from the ceilings. It was waaay over the top in my book, but Demons clearly enjoy the sparkly.
I was guessing by the looks of things that everyone who was anyone in Hell was here and I had a bad feeling that I was going to be part of the festivities. The covert pointing and whispering didn’t help. They made me feel like a freak. Speaking of, I spotted Carl and . . . Sweet Baby Cousin Jesus, was that Janet? Carl had his arm around the most delicately pretty woman I’d seen in Hell yet. She wasn’t a knockout like Dixie and her sisters, but she was a timeless beauty.
She was small with a Cupid’s bow mouth, glittering gold eyes, rounded pink cheeks and a gorgeous mane of chestnut hair. The only giveaway were her stubby little fingers. I recognized those from the therapy session earlier. She wore a simple black dress and flats and looked extremely uncomfortable and insecure. Carl kept his arm tightly around her and growled at any male Demon that even glanced Janet’s way.
“Dixie, look. There’s Carl and Janet,” I said, pulling her to a stop so she could see.
“Oh my Hell,” she gasped. “She’s beautiful without the beard and stache.”
They were too far away for us to call out and I quickly lost sight of them as more Demons filed into the Grand Ballroom.
“Follow me, we’ll find them later,” Dixie instructed as we moved to an area near a gothic three story stained glass window that was reserved for Lucifer’s family. I spotted Greed, Envy, Lust and four others who had to be the rest of the Sins. They were stupidly gorgeous and waving us over. My gait slowed.
“Don’t worry, Astrid. They have to behave here,” Dixie said, pulling my reluctant body toward the Seven Deadly Sins.
“Did you know when a male octopus finds his mate he rips his own penis off and throws it at her? She then inseminates herself and he grows another one,” Envy told her sisters, much to their disgust. “Oh Astrid, you look to die for,” she gushed.
“Already dead,” I replied, hoping she was done with her sea creature sex stories. My response elicited laughter from my gaggle of dangerous cousins.
“Isn’t she lovely, girls?” Envy asked, looking directly at Lust who turned away in anger. What was that about?
A breathtaking blonde eyed me with interest. She had the same eyes and build as her sisters, but her coloring was vastly different. “I’ve been waiting for you,” she said in a voice that was even more hypnotic than her father’s. “I’m Wrath.”
I stood and stared mutely at her. She was one powerful Demon. Wrath stood and approached. Every instinct I had was to step back, but I held my ground. Being tested repeatedly in Hell was wearing me out.
“Nice to meet you, Wrath.” I held out my hand, but she took me in her arms and laid a big wet one dangerously close to my mouth. Alrighty then. Her arms around my body were drenched in magic—strong magic. “You are very powerful,” she whispered in my ear, sending shivers of sheer terror down my spine. “It’s good to have you here.”