“Look, I’m sorry if my manners are lacking, but I need to leave and going to a shindig at your daddy’s is not high on my priority list.”
“Astrid, Satan is fair and he is not demanding anything unusual of you. I think you should just play along until you can leave,” Dixie said as she rifled through some jewelry.
She was probably right. Was she as sweet and innocent as she appeared to be? She was the daughter of the Devil. How could she be so freakin’ nice?
“How old are you?”
She stopped and heaved a weary sigh. “I’m twenty.”
“Twenty plus what?” I asked. Did she think I was an idiot? Every immortal looked somewhere in their twenties.
“Twenty plus nothing.”
“Wow, you’re a baby.”
“Not much more so than you,” she replied and handed me a diamond necklace and earrings. “These will be pretty with the dress. What size shoe do you wear?”
“Seven. So you haven’t been alive very long.”
“Nope.”
“And there are more of you?” Stop being bitchy and learn something. Something helpful. Something that will help me get the hell out of Hell . . .
“No, there’s only one me, but I do have sisters. Seven of them.” She stared at me expectantly.
“What am I missing?” I asked. Was this a game show? Did I have to guess everything? I pinched the bridge of my nose to ward off the headache that was threatening.
“You don’t know?”
“No.” I rolled my eyes. “If I knew I wouldn’t ask.”
“Seven,” Rachel screamed, waking Beyonce from her slumber which led to a baby Demon smackdown of epic proportions.
Ignoring the violent wrestling match at my feet, I stared at my cousin. “I’m sick of cryptic. Just fucking tell me.”
“The Devil has seven daughters. I have seven sisters.”
“Actually he has eight,” I corrected her.
“True, but for thousands of years he had seven. I’m very new,” she said. “I wear a six and a half shoe. Do you think you can squeeze your feet into these?”
I was momentarily speechless as she held up the hottest Prada pumps I’d ever seen.
“Oh my God,” I gasped. “Are those this season?”
“They’re next season.” She grinned and handed them over.
“I’d consider cutting off some toes to fit into these babies.”
“That would be gross,” she giggled. “Did you figure out the seven yet?”
“I think so,” I said as I attempted to wedge my size seven foot into her size six and a half shoe. “But it’s so appallingly cliché it’s pathetic.”
“Then you got it right.”
“Your sisters are the Seven Deadly Sins?” I laughed and then groaned. My toes were on fire. “Shitfuckshitshit, these are way too tight.”
I felt like the ugly stepsister from Cinderella as I tried in vain to shove my foot into the slipper . . . no fucking go.
“Yes, they are. I can call Greed and see if she’ll loan you a pair. I’m pretty sure she wears a seven.”
“Someone named Greed is going to let a random cousin she doesn’t know borrow her shoes?” I asked and reluctantly handed her back the gorgeous footwear.
“She doesn’t like to part with her possessions, but getting to meet you before all the rest of them should be enough incentive for her to agree.” Dixie grinned with glee and texted her sister.
“What about Sloth?” I asked. “Would she just sleep though us pilfering her shoes?”
“Trust me, you don’t want Sloth’s shoes.”
“Why? No. Don’t answer that. The less I know about all of you, the better. I’ll just wear my own.”
“You’re wearing black Converse. I don’t think that will work with Stella McCartney.” Dixie laughed and sat down on the floor with my exhausted Demons. Beating the living daylights out of each other tended to wear their little monster asses out.
“I think Converse goes with everything,” I said and joined her on the floor. “Why are you nice? Aren’t you supposed to be evil and mean?”
“You think I’m nice?” Dixie’s eyes lit up and she grinned happily.
“I do,” I admitted, biting back my own grin. I really didn’t want to like her, but she was making it difficult. “However, you’ve been kind of useless to me so far. Aren’t you supposed to bring me up to speed about my heritage so I can get the hell out of Dodge?”
“What do you want to know?”
The floor and walls of Dixie’s bungalow shuddered. I scooped up my babies and held them to my chest. Big mistake as Abe and Ross took that as a cue to feel me up.
“What was that?” I demanded as I peeled my little boys off my boobs.
“I have no idea.” Dixie literally disappeared and rematerialized by her window. “It felt like a Hellquake, but it’s the wrong season for those.”
“Hellquake?” I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Is that Hell’s version of an earthquake?”
“Yes, Miss Smarty Pants, it is. Well, nothing is on fire out there and my security team is still in place so no one has breached the barrier and tried to kill us. We’re fine.”
“Fine? We’re fine?” I asked in a voice that sounded weird even to me. “We are not fine. I don’t belong here. I have a mate and a family that will be looking for me and I have no time for this crap.”