“Gareth will continue to age until he finds his true mate. Whomever placed this shoddy ass spell also cursed him,” the Devil informed us.
“Is it a Demonic curse?” I asked.
Satan made a huge show of rolling his eyes and silently counting to ten as his lips moved wordlessly. Watching the Devil pout like a toddler would have been humorous if the stakes weren’t so high.
“If it were Demonic, I could remove it,” he ground out. He looked at Gareth. “It’s not Demonic. This was obviously a two or more asshole job. I removed the Demon spell part. The curse is your problem.”
Gareth nodded. What else could he do?
“My curse was removed by finding my mate,” Raquel said thoughtfully.
“Then it stands to reason that the same person who cursed you, cursed your brother,” Satan said as he pulled out his cell phone and began tapping away.
“What are you doing?” Astrid demanded.
“I’m playing Soda Candy Crush. I’m on level 660 and I found a way to cheat to get more lives. Besides, it’s getting boring here,” Satan replied.
“Wait. You know how to get more lives without paying for them?” Raquel asked, intrigued.
“I do,” he purred suggestively and approached her. “Would you like me to show you how?”
“No,” I said cutting off his advance. “She would not.”
There was no way in Hell we were going to owe the Devil a favor to find out how to cheat at Soda Candy Crush.
“Hello,” Gareth cut it. “Still aging over here.”
“Why do you think it’s the same person who cursed both Raquel and Gareth?” Astrid asked her uncle.
“Cursing is a gift,” Ethan explained before the Devil could exact another favor for an answer. “Very few immortals have the unfortunate gift of laying curses on other immortals.”
“Do you know anyone who has this gift?” I asked.
“No. I don’t,” Ethan answered and then glanced at the Devil with narrowed eyes. “But I would guess he does.”
“Holy Hell, this outing is turning out far to be more interesting than I thought it would.” Satan clapped his hands and grinned. “How about this? We can work out a deal while we find your other siblings. Do you happen to know where they are?”
I want to punch the man, but didn’t dare. Satan forgot about his game as he added up new favors in his head.
“I can find them,” Gareth said stepping forward. “Who’s missing?”
Nathan, Alexander and Lelia,” Ethan informed him tersely. “You can call them here?”
“Not sure that would work if they’re in the same situation I was in. However, I can go to them,” he replied.
“Your gift?” Astrid asked Gareth.
“Yes. And I can take you with me. It won’t be pleasant, but it will work.”
“Please,” Astrid laughed. “I was yanked to Hell by Demons. Nothing can top that.”
“Are you trying to hurt my feelings?” Satan inquired silkily.
“You have feelings?” she countered.
“Well no, but it sounded good. Didn’t it?” Satan replied with a smirk and a shrug.
Ignoring the Devil, Gareth took charge. “Ethan, Astrid, Satan and I will find the others and meet you at the Summit. I’d highly suggest you two hide your mating. Vlad may be very valuable to us. And as you know… he wants Raquel.”
I growled my displeasure at the shitty plan resuming and nodded curtly. Vlad had better be fucking valuable or he would die—slowly.
“I hate that tally whacker,” Satan announced gleefully. “I can’t wait until the bastard ends up in my neck of the woods. But I was under the impression that Napoleon was in charge of the Old Guard at the moment.”
“Napoleon is a fucking Vampyre?” Astrid asked, shocked. “Who made that little turd a Vamp?”
“Don’t know,” Satan answered. “But when you meet him please call him a little turd. I’ll owe you three favors if you do.”
Astrid contemplated his request thoughtfully as Ethan firmly shook his head no. Napoleon was a hateful bastard and evil to the core. Even though Astrid could take him, it would be foolish to have him as an enemy.
“Five favors and I’ll call him an assbucket turd knockin’ little shit for brains,” she offered ignoring Ethan’s very audible groan.
“Deal,” Satan shouted and rubbed his hands together in anticipation of a smackdown or more likely a bloodbath. “Oh and if you tell Vlad ‘you vant to suck his blood’ I’ll let you call me Uncle Fucker for two weeks.”
“But I don’t vant to suck his blood.” Astrid giggled.
“Trust me on this one. Just tell him,” Satan said with a covert wink to me.
The Devil had the information on Vlad despising the way he’d been portrayed in film from me. Part of my favor was directly related to this little tidbit. Vlad was known to go ballistic when mocked.
“Are we ready?” I asked, ignoring Satan as I glanced at our motley crew.
“No, but we’re going anyway,” Raquel said as she quickly hugged her brothers and Astrid. “Let’s get this twerk-wanking shit show on the road.”
“Wow. Good one,” Astrid said, congratulating her again.
“Thanks,” my mate replied with a blush. “Did it make sense?”
“No, but what the Hell does making sense even mean?” Astrid said. “Think about it—we’re dead, we can fly, my uncle is Beelzebub, and I’m un-killable. Sense left this train station a long fucking time ago.”