“I’d kill you, but if you need a magical death, it’ll have to be one of the boys. And they won’t go against Cain’s orders. The feeling around here is that if anyone kills you but him, that demon might never be released from the caves.”
“The caves?”
She nodded. “It’s where the demons who defy Cain’s laws are kept for years—nothing but boredom and starvation. It makes us go mad. One just got out after a forty-year stint. I don’t know if he’ll ever recover.”
“That’s awful.” Not that Tam had developed any illusions that Cain was anything more than a pretty monster like Jack.
Daria shrugged. “Maybe. But we have fewer numbers than other preternatural species. Only a thousand or so. The man upstairs doesn’t make demons frequently. It’s got to be something personal with him. Sure, we can’t die, but we can be tortured or cursed. We have a lot of skills that protect us, but the human dimension could become a dangerous place for us if we don’t follow Cain’s laws to the letter. Even with our powers, we can still be caught off guard or found out, which is why it shocks me he’s keeping such a powerful witch alive. You could do real damage here.”
“I asked him to kill me. You see how well he listens. Not like I was begging and pleading for my life with the big doe eyes or anything.”
“There you are!”
Tam turned to see Anna blazing a trail her way. When her friend reached them, she tried to grab Tam’s arm, but her ghostly hand went right through.
Anna let out a frustrated sound. “I can’t believe how frequently I still forget about the noncorporeal thing.”
Daria laughed. “Be glad for it. It’s a strength, not a weakness. It’s one of the most useful skills our species has—it protects you while you’re waiting on your other powers. It’s just the first one you get. The others will come.”
Anna frowned. “I thought I was a ghost or something.”
Daria shook her head. “You aren’t a ghost. Surely your mate explained it to you?”
“He did, but...” She appeared to be thinking back. “I just assumed. Maybe when I said ghost he thought I was being sarcastic. I don’t know.” She turned back to Tam. “Can we go back to your tent and talk?”
Tam exchanged a look with Daria, unsure she wanted to hear whatever Cain-related lecture her friend had concocted in their time away from each other. The demon gave her a sympathetic look and tossed another peach. The witch caught it in midair.
“Sure, Anna,” she said, feeling guilty the way she was thinking about her friend. She’d practically tricked her into Luc’s arms so she could have an immortal friend, and now she was planning on leaving her behind. The least she could do was have a conversation.
When they got back to Tam’s tent, she parked herself on the couch. “What is it?”
“What did you have to talk to Cain privately about?”
Tam shrugged and worked on her evasiveness. “Nothing.”
Anna planted her hands on her ghostly hips. “No, seriously, what was so secret that you could tell the grand high evil one, but not me?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
Anna looked hurt. “Have you guys bonded now because you’re both ancient? I know I’ve been away a lot, but I’ve seen you since becoming Luc’s mate. I’m a part of this world now, so you could have told me.” She hadn’t sat down because an attempt would be pointless. She’d sink right through the couch. She just sort of hovered.
Tam sighed. “I know you think this is personal, but it isn’t. I was trying to forget, myself. This new cycle has been the most normal I’ve had in a long time. I usually hid and stayed in the shadows when a new cycle started. This time I got adopted. I kind of regressed. I wanted to forget everything and pretend I had a normal life, even with the witch stuff. You let me remember what childhood was like. And it was great. Sometimes I actually felt like I was your age and not just pretending.” She paused to catch a breath and gather her thoughts to make sure she was saying it right. “As we grew up, I just wanted to keep the illusion alive. And since you seemed freaked out by basic witch stuff, it was another excuse. I know I could have told you, but until Jack started hunting me again, I wanted to keep my fantasy life. If I told you, then it was really real for me, and I wasn’t just a regular witch that lived a long time.”
Anna stayed quiet for several minutes, processing. Finally she said, “Damnit, Tam. Why do you have to make it all sound so reasonable? I can’t even be mad at you. At least I don’t have to worry about you dying. It was something that bothered me a lot, that you’d age and leave me behind.”
It was like a knife stabbing her in the gut. She couldn’t look at Anna, not while plotting her own demise. “You know... something could happen. I could still die. I mean... Jack is hunting, and he seems intense about it if he’s starting the letter charade again.”
Her friend shook her head. “No, you’re safe here. Cain promised to protect you. No one can get into this dimension without permission from Cain or without being a demon himself. Even if The Cycler knew where to find you, he can’t get in.”
Tam very much doubted that was true. Anna hadn’t been around in their world long enough. She didn’t yet understand that there was no such thing as total safety in a world with so much magical chaos. The only way she would be safe was if Cain killed her like he’d promised. She wondered what Anna would think if she knew he was playing both sides, giving out two contradictory promises. It was anybody’s guess which, if either, promise he’d choose to keep in the end.
“Tam?”
“Hmmm?”
“What was it like when you died? I mean, that period of time before you came back again? Did you go to heaven?”
The question made Tam’s skin crawl. “No. Nothing happens. It’s just a void. I die, and then I wake up—like a dreamless sleep, except when I wake, for a second I can’t catch my breath and feel like I’m dying again. It’s creepy. Sometimes I’m afraid something will go wrong and I won’t wake up. I’ll just stop existing.” She didn’t want to become nothingness, she just wanted to break the spell and get out of the endless loop she was on.
“Oh.”
Yeah. Oh.
“There’s something I should tell you,” Tam said.
The brunette looked expectant. After a long pause, she said, “Well?”
“Okay, don’t hate me but... I pushed you into the mating with Luc.”
“That’s not true! You offered to help me get Luc’s mark removed before I completed the final ritual.”
Tam peeled the second peach Daria had given her. It was something to focus on so she didn’t have to look at her friend. “That was only after I saw how distressed it was making you. For a while I was intent on you becoming his mate for my own selfish reasons.”
Anna looked like she wanted to hug her. It was the exact opposite reaction Tam had expected. She’d been prepared for screaming and was thankful things couldn’t be thrown at her.
“I understand. I mean, you wanted us both to be immortal so we wouldn’t lose each other, right? Why should I be mad about that? Besides, I love Luc. We were meant to be together in my last life, but I was too stupid and stubborn. Anyway, it was Cain that made me set the house on fire and trapped me inside. At that point I had to make a decision about where I wanted to spend eternity. I wanted to spend it with Luc. I don’t regret that decision. I still could have chosen otherwise. Okay?”
“I’m still sorry. I wasn’t thinking about you when I acted like I did.”
Anna nodded. “It’s okay.”
“Do you remember Henry?”
“That bird you had?”
Tam got up to stretch her legs. “Yeah, only he wasn’t exactly a bird. He was a therian.”
“Oh my god! Seriously? I changed clothes in that room when we were teenagers.”
Tam chuckled. “Yeah, he thought you were hot.”
“You better be glad I can’t be solid right now. I’d throw stuff at your head.”
Tam grinned. Of all the things for her to get angry about. It wasn’t being lured into mating with an immortal demon, it was that a raven therian had seen her in her underwear. Anna was always obsessed with the wrong things.
“Wait... how long do they live? How long was he with you?”
“Centuries. From the late 1700s on. I’d dispersed from the rest of the coven and was lonely. The bird came to me. We were really close.”
A lightbulb seemed to come on over Anna’s head. “That’s why you wouldn’t come out of your house for three weeks after he died. I thought it was a bit much mourning over a bird, but I didn’t say anything.”
“Well, now you know. I still see him occasionally in dreams, but it’s not the same. He was my best friend besides you.”
Now she was about to do the same thing to Anna that Henry had done when he’d died: rip up one of her anchors. But she had to. Anna would understand in time, and she wasn’t alone. She was surrounded by others like her, and she had Luc. It was different.
Keep telling yourself that.
***
Cain and Luc moved through the human dimension just outside the crime scene, invisible and noncorporeal. As demons, they could sense each other even if they couldn’t see each other.
“It’s better to kill Tam,” Cain said. He couldn’t see his brother for a reaction, but he could guess at the disappointed and disgusted look he’d find if he could. Luc was so predictably good that way—hardly a demon anymore. He hadn’t been the same since Anna. It was too much humanity for Cain’s taste.
“You promised you’d protect her... Though, I don’t know why I’m shocked at this revelation.”
Cain bristled at that. He’d been loyal to Luc when he’d been trapped in a house by a curse, bringing him his meals. And he protected his own. It was a low blow for Luc to act as if he couldn’t be anything more than a Judas. He was still miffed about that. Hadn’t Cain been the first true betrayer in their history? And Judas got all the glory.