Maybe because the ICEE was blue, and had stained my lips a deathly hue. And was in a coffin-shaped glass that was free with purchase because it cost all of ten cents when bought in bulk from across the border. But the kicker was where we were.
Dante’s hotel and casino was a relic from the days when theme was big on the Vegas Strip. That was after the mob era, but before the short-lived family-friendly experiment, and definitely before the city’s latest incarnation as a sleek adult playground for the well-heeled. Theme was out now, unless the theme was money, which was never out in Vegas, but Dante’s didn’t care because its theme served a purpose. Like, for example, hiding a bunch of real supernatural beings in plain sight, by advertising costumed actors prowling around the drag.
“I’m sorry,” the woman said firmly, shoving a mass of fuzz out of her face. “But you’re her favorite character. One picture . . .”
The sentence remained unfinished, but the idea was clear: I and my lunch, not to mention my mission, were to be held hostage to that pic.
Or not, I thought, as an outraged genius suddenly appeared in my face. “You.”
I started for the door with my armful of stuff, since it didn’t matter anymore. “That’s not my fault,” I told him, nodding at the disturbance.
“Not your fault?” Augustine barred the way into his establishment with a long, spindly arm. He always reminded me of a blond praying mantis, all arms and legs on a model-slim body, a fact heightened today by a jumpsuit in his favorite iridescent green. “You brought them here!”
“I brought them to the hotel,” I said, trying to limbo myself under the obstruction without spilling anything. “I don’t decide where they go—”
“Get them out!” he told me, shoving a knee in my way.
“From here?”
“Yes, from here! You’re leaving—and so are they!”
“Tell them that,” I said, looking past him. To where three cloth-covered mounds were roaming about, perusing the items on offer.
At least, I guessed that was what they were doing, but who could tell? They looked like animated mountains of laundry, to the point that I only knew who they were by the gnarled, yellowish toenails protruding like claws from under trailing silks, taffetas, and laces. A lot of silks, taffetas, and laces. Like half the store’s worth.
I could understand why Augustine was upset—his inventory was getting ravaged—but it was his own fault. He was the one who had decided to put an antishoplifting spell on his wares, resulting in any sticky-fingered customers turning literally sticky. To the point that everything they touched ended up adhered to them like superglue.
It had caused grown men to return, blubbering in submission and missing some skin, after a wild ride on the outside of the taxi they’d become stuck to. But it didn’t seem to be bothering the current group, judging by the dirty hand that had just emerged from one of the piles to finger a cashmere sweater. And to casually pull it off its hanger and to smack it on the growing heap over her left shoulder.
It did not stick to her hand.
I hadn’t expected it to.
Minor-level spells weren’t designed to ensnare ancient magical beings, who seemed to view this one as a useful alternative to a shopping basket.
“You tell them that!” Augustine said furiously. “You brought them here!”
“Oh, please,” I said, looking up at him in annoyance, not half because I was still stuck between him and the door. “That was almost four months ago!”
It had been in the early days of this job, when I’d accidentally released the girls from the supernatural snare they were trapped in. Trapped for no good reason I could see, since the three old women known to mythology as the Graeae were usually fairly harmless. Of course, I didn’t make a habit of pissing them off.
Unlike Augustine, who forgot about me when one of the mounds bent over to get a better look at a lower shelf, and bumped into an elegant display of hats. Which went flying when the table fell over, including a jaunty purple number that landed at a raffish angle on her long gray curls. And immediately transformed the wrinkled face beneath it.
The Graeae usually looked like baked-apple dolls, with a Shar-pei’s worth of folds for a face and little else. That still held true. Only now the wrinkled visage peering out of the clothes pile also sported a full makeup job, including scarlet lipstick, rosy cheeks, and fake eyelashes, despite the fact that the latter had nothing to adhere to, since she was not currently in possession of the one eye the trio shared.
The lashes fluttered anyway as she turned her head this way and that, and then up, trying to figure out what had just happened. And finally realized that something was stuck to her face. Which she dealt with by feeling around with one clawed hand until she located the problem and pulled it off.
And ate it.
“What . . . did she just . . . how . . . why?” the girl’s mother asked as Françoise all but flew over.
“Holograms,” she told the woman firmly.
“Holograms?”
But Françoise had already pulled me inside and was hustling me away.
“Holograms?” I whispered.
“Eet is the standard reply. Most humans cannot see zee spells Augustine puts on zee clothes. But some of zem ’ave a leetle magic in zere blood, and for zem”—she shrugged—“zere are zees holograms.”
“While in reality?”
She handed me a sign that had fallen off the display. IN A HURRY? CHAPEAU AND GO BY AUGUSTINE. YOUR MAKEUP AND HAIR DONE IN AN INSTANT. I blinked at it. You know, considering my schedule, I could really use—
“Can you take zem somwhaire?” Françoise asked, gesturing at the trio. “He ees only going to get worse zee longair zey stay here.”
The he in question being Augustine, I presumed, who was now slapping at the Graeae with one of the fallen hats.
“I’m too pooped to pop right now,” I admitted. “At least and carry anyone else.”
In fact, I wasn’t sure I could carry me. Spatial shifts were a heck of a lot easier than the time variety, but they still took energy. Which was why I planned on taking the elevator up to my suite, to rest and eat something more substantial than a few bites of pork.
But I had a question first.
“I have a question,” I told Françoise, who was attempting to corral the hats.
She looked up, and the Grecian gown she was wearing slipped off one shoulder. It was the go-go version, with a too-short skirt and a plunging neckline, because Augustine knew how to get male customers into a woman’s clothing store, yes, he did. But it looked good on her, like the elaborate updo her long, dark hair had been woven into, held in place by thin bands of silver.
She matched the shop, which I’d last seen dressed up like a circus tent. Now it was marble-floored and ionic-columned, with swags of diaphanous gauze draped here and there and pastoral murals covering the walls. Augustine was really going all out on this goddess thing, wasn’t he?
“About zee chapeaux?” Françoise asked.
“No, about zee fey—I mean, about the fey,” I said, bringing my attention back to her. “You lived with them for a while, didn’t you?”
“Too long,” she said grimly, probably because it hadn’t been voluntary.
“But you know them pretty well, right? Better than most?”
I really hoped so, since my options were kind of limited. There weren’t a lot of experts on the fey, especially the light variety. Their world had a habit of consuming any unwanted visitors and spitting out the bones. Not that Françoise had been unwanted. She was the kind of immigrant the fey welcomed with open arms.
Literally.
“Zey kidnapped me,” she said bitterly. “I was a slave. What does a slave know?”
“More than I do. And I need to.” And I guess something in my tone got through, because she looked at me from under a rack, where she was trying to reach a rogue hat.
“What ees wrong?”
I glanced around again, but the only people nearby were the mother and child, and they were busy watching the drama with open mouths. I squatted down beside her and lowered my voice. “I don’t have that much time,” I said quietly. “But I need to know everything you can tell me about their weapons.”