Lorraine nodded. Andor felt that same flutter in the region of his heart he was becoming accustomed to. She listened very carefully to every word Gary said. She had more compassion in her than most humans he’d observed, which was why he’d avoided them. They judged one another so harshly. Women, he found, seemed to be worse in their judgments than men.
I am still in your mind.
The way she poured into him, filling every lonely space, each crack or hole, made him feel complete. There was a trace of amusement in her voice.
Am I wrong? He loved that it was the two of them speaking, mind to mind, in the midst of so many others, even men who had bound their souls to hers. She still reserved that one telepathic path for him alone.
No, I can’t say you are, although not all women are judgmental. Some are worse than others, some not at all. I don’t know why some women build themselves up by tearing down others, especially if those others have had unfortunate situations to deal with. It has always been beyond me, and I grew up in a family competing for trophies. She sent him an image of an actual trophy with her name on it. My brother and parents did what was referred to as “trash talking.” I didn’t. I always felt a little bad for my opponent after I defeated them. I preferred to let my skills do the talking, not my mouth.
Andor liked that, too, about her. At least she had indicated she was willing to return to the compound with him. I will go with you wherever you wish to go, even if that means back to your former life within a city.
You wouldn’t be able to breathe in a city.
He wouldn’t, but it mattered little to him. If that is what it takes to make you happy, I will do so gladly. He knew she was reading his mind and would see he told her the truth.
I’m done with living there, she assured. I’ll try to live within the compound and see if life there suits me.
Many of the Carpathians are buying up property around Tariq’s and establishing their own homes. Each house and property adds to the defensible territory. We weave the safeguards together, which means they are stronger than ever and there is less chance a master vampire, even one such as Sergey, well versed in the high mage’s spells, could bring them down.
Isai emerged, pale and needing blood. It was Sandu who gave to him immediately. Andor detested that his brethren were making themselves weak for him—that they were in danger on his behalf. Dragomir shed his body and went into Andor’s. Isai had been powerful enough, just as Dragomir was, that Andor could feel them repairing the terrible damage done to him, but neither was anywhere near Gary’s abilities, his spirit so hot with energy it was almost painful.
He looked at the healer. His features were now very reminiscent of those of a Daratrazanoff. That lineage was very distinct. He wasn’t one man, born with power; the ancients had poured memories and strength into him, which was why he was so incredibly formidable. “When you were reborn as a Daratrazanoff, did you retain your memories from your former life?”
He had been told by Tariq that prior to Gary being reborn, he was already revered among their people, almost a legend for his tireless work to help their women carry babies. More, he fought alongside them, and guarded children unable to go to ground. He was a genius willing to give his time and energy to a people that had not been his own.
“I have retained everything,” Gary said. “I have retained my abilities to understand modern chemistry and physics from my old life as well as strategize any battle when needed from my new.”
“And healing?”
“The Daratrazanoff line has a long history of healers. I was given their abilities. I did not have them before.”
“Your lifemate has been born in France,” Sandu said, giving his blood to Isai. “Have you located her?”
“She is too young. Until she reaches puberty there is no hope whatsoever of finding her. Once I know she is near the age, I will attempt to find her.” Gary shrugged his shoulders. “If I do, I will ensure she is watched over until she comes of age. I have observed the way Dimitri was with Skyler and Valentin is with Liv. Dimitri made contact with Skyler and was there for her any time she needed it. Val does that now for Liv. I will do the same for my lifemate.”
“I am told that takes a tremendous toll on the male,” Andor objected. “You are one of us. The same as the brethren, far too close to the end. If you add such a burden …” He trailed off.
“As you have done?” Gary countered.
“Wait. What do you mean by that?” Lorraine demanded. “How has Andor added to his burden? My understanding was once a hunter found his lifemate, he was safe from turning.”
“That is not entirely true,” Sandu said.
Andor shook his head, scowling fiercely at his fellow monk. Lorraine came up on her knees and caught his face between her hands. “I want all the information, not pieces of it you think I’ll like. Everything, both good and bad.”
“Csecsemõ, I want you to make your decision based on what you want, not what you think is best for me. I am a man. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. If you prefer to live as a human, I will make that decision as well.”
She shook her head. “That isn’t fair to me. You tied us together through your ritual vows. I felt them take hold, Andor. I can’t leave you. I don’t even want to. If staying human or becoming Carpathian is a choice, then I need all the information, not just part, to make the best decision for us. I’m not just alone anymore. You made certain it was the two of us. Now, you have to live with that.”
Sandu grinned at him. “I think I like this girl. I cannot feel, Lorraine, not with my emotions, but my soul is bound to yours, and I can feel through you. That was brilliant, and my affection for you is as Ferro’s, that of a brother. You are far too good for Andor.”
Andor leveled his gaze at Sandu. “Very funny. You are supposed to be championing me, not persuading her she should leave me.”
“I just said she is too good for you, and she is.”
Andor couldn’t exactly argue with that. “Because we are tied together, but we are not formally bound through blood, the toll on me grows. I would not turn because your soul lights mine, but it is a heavy burden.”
That sounds like a watered-down version.
He remained silent. What was there to say? She understood, he could tell by the way she got that pensive look on her face. I tied us together, Lorraine, because I had no choice. My blood compels me to bind us. My soul demanded it. This is your decision. Do not let the others influence you. This choice should be yours.
She studied his face a long time. “I think it should be ours,” she said aloud. “Your brothers, in the short time I’ve known them, have given me back a family when I thought I would spend my life forever alone. You’ve offered me a world where I can matter, where my life has meaning. I’ve been told about a woman in need of friends. Perhaps I can have the chance to help her. There are children needing protection.”
“Dragomir’s woman is pregnant,” Sandu said. “It is a very tricky circumstance. She was impregnated by a vampire, the first we knew that it could actually happen. Dragomir was able to replace the acid-like blood with his own for both mother and child, with the help of our healer.”
“And others,” Gary said.
The healer had his eyes closed, and Andor knew he would take the next session to try to have Andor’s body repaired enough to travel the next rising. He still was worried that Lorraine would be alone during the daylight hours.
“She needs friends,” Sandu pointed out. “Women friends. And there is Charlotte and Blaze. Blaze is much like you. I suspect by the time the two of you are finished, you will have started an army of women vampire hunters.”
Lorraine glared at him. “I hear the amusement in your voice, you chauvinist.”
Sandu put his hand over his heart. “Sisarke, how can you say such a thing?”
“I heard it, too,” Andor said decisively.
8
Lorraine woke at least two hours before sunset, her heart beating too fast, as if something other than she was in control. Vestiges of nightmares were in her mind. Images of her brother and parents on the floor. Her aunt and uncle. Theodore’s best friend’s parents. So much blood. She’d been wading in it. It was everywhere, all over her clothing. Her hands. In her hair. She’d tried to get through it to reach her mother, but no matter how many steps she’d taken, she hadn’t been able to get closer.
She sat up, gasping for air, her lungs raw from trying to breathe. She wanted the nightmares to stop. She had them every night. Sometimes she wasn’t asleep, she just had to close her eyes and the images were there, as if they were burned behind her eyelids.
She looked around her. She appeared to be alone. There was no tent, but she knew the men had woven a strong shield overhead and below-ground where they all slept. The perimeter of the camp was safeguarded as well. She drew up her knees and rocked back and forth, grateful she was alone. She didn’t like anyone seeing weakness, and the tears tracking down her face and the tremors she couldn’t stop, to her, were weaknesses.
She couldn’t change what Theodore had done. She could keep him in her heart, the big brother no one else would ever remember. Someday, she might even forgive him. Living with his crime, meeting people who would always judge her, and so much worse, judge her parents, that was far more difficult.
If she was very honest, there was a tiny part of her that was angry with them for not telling her Theodore had been having problems. When had he started? The last time she’d been home, and granted, it had been months earlier, he’d seemed fine. He’d been upset that he hadn’t won nationals, but he’d been fine. Once she’d gotten him out of the house, and his bedroom—the cave, she’d called it, because sometimes he disappeared into it for weeks—they’d laughed and talked just as they’d always done.
She got to her feet and stretched. She tugged on her jeans and hiking boots and then added a navy T-shirt. The air was turning brisk so she pulled on her jacket as well. If she was Carpathian, she wouldn’t need to go find a tree or bush to use. She wouldn’t have to worry about food out in the middle of nowhere. She still had plenty in her backpack, but nothing appealed to her anymore.