Ferro set her down inside the front room of what would eventually be the home base they would live in when they stayed in the United States; at least, she could see that was in his mind at the moment. She kept her eyes closed tightly, afraid of getting too dizzy. She needed to put the images from the rising before solidly in her mind as a reference.
“You are in front of the chair where I sat with you,” he said, his hand sliding from her waist to her hip.
The gesture felt . . . intimate. He was never heavy-handed. His palm barely skimmed her body, so light over the thin material of the formfitting gown, but she felt that touch all the way to her bones. She felt branded. His.
“I am not facing the window, am I?” She felt very daring to ask him. In a million years she would never have asked such a question. Elisabeta still wasn’t certain whether she was testing her freedom or his reaction.
“No, sívamet, I would not make such a mistake with the one who is hän ku vigyáz sívamet és sielamet. I cherish you, Elisabeta, and protect you.”
She liked that Ferro called her the keeper of his heart and soul. She had kept his soul safe for so long, struggling against Sergey’s continual assaults, his trickery and tortures over the centuries, that she felt she truly had been and still was the keeper of his soul. She wanted to be the keeper of his heart as well. That was much more difficult to believe. His soul had been entrusted to her by fate. By destiny. But his heart . . . if she held it, that was given to her by him and all the more treasured for the freely given gift.
His hands slid back up to her waist. She felt him grip her there. Steady her. He was there in her mind, adding to her courage. She could do this for him. He had that ink on his back, the one that said he had kept his honor for her. She could become brave for him. Maybe, eventually, it would be for herself, but for now, if she could do it for him it would be enough.
Elisabeta took a deep breath and forced her eyes open. She expected to feel sick and disoriented but she should have trusted in her lifemate. He had her facing a corner wall. A sconce was lit, the light flickering dimly, casting shadows over an area larger than she’d really taken in the night before. It seemed, at first, a sweeping space, but she made it a grid in her mind, viewing it as if she were seeing the wider corner through bars.
“Very clever.”
His breath was warm on her ear. He transferred his hands to her shoulders and began that slow, soothing massage she was coming to really enjoy. He had big hands with strong fingers and he got every tense knot. With just the two of them in the house, it seemed so much easier to let herself have a panic attack if that was what had to happen in order to see the room.
“Think of this as your home, piŋe sarnanak. It is only this one room. This space. This is what we have together. A fireplace to keep us warm if the weather turns cold on us and we do not want to go to the trouble of regulating our body temperatures.”
She liked the way his lips brushed her ear when he spoke to her. The way his breath warmed her and yet teased her senses at the same time, making her so aware of him. He had come even closer to her, so that she rested against his chest. She could feel his groin pressed tight against her. The long, thick columns of his thighs.
“We will have warm rugs in front of the fireplace. We will have furniture. Chairs to sit in for us and for our visitors. What do you envision in your home? Just in this space for us?”
Her heart pounded against the thick bar of his forearm. She moistened her lips several times before she dared to speak. “I have never been in a home. I do not know what one looks like. If you could show me what you mean . . .” She trailed off, uncertain if even then she could envision what she wanted.
To her utter astonishment, she felt amusement fill her mind. Not at her—at him. He laughed at himself and then shared it with her. “It has just occurred to me, Elisabeta, I know nothing about this subject, either. I avoided humans as best I could for centuries, using them only for sustenance. I certainly did not go into their homes. I did not enter into any homes of Carpathians other than Tariq’s and Dragomir’s, and then only briefly for meetings. I did not walk through their home but went straight to the meeting room in another form.”
Elisabeta found herself relaxing completely, his shared laughter at himself turning what had been stressful into something altogether different. She had never known a sense of fun. Merged as she was with him, even though she wasn’t moving very far into his memories, she knew he didn’t really remember having fun, either. Together, they were discovering that even the things neither of them really had knowledge of could be amusing if shared.
She let her body rest against his. Immediately a feeling of tranquility and peace flowed into her. She had never known anyone could have his strength, either physical or spiritual.
“Lorraine has catalogues with clothes. Perhaps . . .”
She tried not to feel the annoyance at the other woman’s name. He relied far too much on the unknown Lorraine. “I do not know what a catalogue is.”
“A magazine. A book with pictures in it.”
There was that same amusement in his mind, but this time, she was certain, the humor he felt was directed toward her irritation at the absent oh-so-perfect Lorraine.
“Lorraine is anything but perfect, piŋe sarnanak, and I thank the stars that she is Andor’s problem and not mine. She is minan sisar. To save Andor we bound our souls together. She was not Carpathian at the time and yet, knowing she could die, she still allowed us to bind her to us in order for her to go into the netherworld to find Andor. It took Sandu, Gary, Lorraine and me to be strong enough to bring him out, so yes, I respect her. She is a warrior. She is Andor’s lifemate, his problem, and he is ekäm.”
By claiming Andor as his brother and Lorraine as his sister, he was telling her that the couple were his family and, therefore, family to her.
She turned over every word he had said. She could find no lie. No inflection that would tell her he felt any differently than his words implied. “Why do you say you thank the stars she is Andor’s problem when you clearly respect and admire her?”
“She would not suit a man like me at all, nor would I suit her.”
That told her nothing at all. He was still, giving her the choice to search his memories, but she couldn’t go that far. She was taking one small step at a time. He wanted her to look at this space and make it a home for them. She didn’t know what was in a home. He wanted her to meet Lorraine and she would do so as graciously as possible, even though she felt at such a disadvantage. She shied away from thinking about meeting with her birth brother, but knew she had that to do as well. Even if Ferro took her far away, Traian could appeal to the prince and Ferro would be forced to bring her back. He couldn’t shield her forever.
“I can, you know. I care little for what others think of me. I have not sworn allegiance to the reigning prince. He cannot order me to do anything, as I am not under his command. Most of the brethren have not sworn allegiance to him, either.”
Elisabeta didn’t know if the relief sweeping through her was a good thing or a bad thing. She only knew she didn’t want to start a war. Still, the idea of so many demands on her when she was barely able to open her eyes without placing imaginary bars in front of her sight was daunting. It was impossible for others to understand.
“I am proud of you, sívamet. You have already come such a long way. You do not realize how much you have accepted me into your life. It humbles me that you do so.” He rubbed his chin on the top of her head.
“Why have you not sworn allegiance to the reigning prince?”
“I have not sworn allegiance to a prince I have never had the chance to get to know. His father betrayed his people by keeping his eldest son alive when he knew he should destroy him. He set many things in motion that should not have been just to please his lifemate. His duty was to his people, to all of us. His hunters were doing all we could to live with honor, and yet he chose a path knowing the Carpathian people would come to the very brink of extinction if he didn’t kill his son. He left a mess to his son Mikhail.”
“How could he possibly know that?”
“Vlad had precognition. He knew. He might not have wanted to know. He might have tried to tell himself that what he saw in the future didn’t have to be, but he knew. He was a ruthless leader until it came to his own children. The rules he applied to everyone else he didn’t apply there. I will not make the mistake of following a leader blindly.”
She heard the ring of absolute truth in his voice. Ferro had gone his own way for so long, relying on himself and then his brethren, becoming such a force to be reckoned with, that even seasoned Carpathian hunters were wary of him. She understood him better and his reasoning made sense to her. He had been betrayed by someone he had believed in, just as she had been betrayed by her childhood friend. She understood betrayal and the long-term consequences.
“He is still the prince, Ferro, and unless I am misunderstanding what I overheard from the Malinov brothers, he is capable of wiping out anyone with his power. That is why he is the prince. He is the vessel for all power of the Carpathian people.”
“That is true, sívamet. Tariq is appointed to stand for him, but he is not a prince and cannot do what Mikhail can do,” Ferro admitted. “Sooner or later, the brethren will have to decide if the reigning prince is worthy of our support and defense. We have not had time to meet him for ourselves, but when we do, we will make that decision as many have done before us.”
Elisabeta thought that was fair. If one was going to fight to save a prince, or go to war for one, they should believe in him.
“So, I am looking at our space here,” she said, hoping to once again lighten the mood between them. “I like the chair we had last rising. We both fit nicely into it. Was it comfortable for you?” She felt very daring asking. She had no idea what the chair looked like. She hadn’t seen any of the furniture.
He bent his head until his lips were once again against her ear, where she could feel his warm breath. The way he did that turned her insides to melting butter.