“I don’t think she wants to talk to me or have anything to do with my life,” I said, half-hoping Mom would offer evidence to the contrary.
“No,” she agreed.
Damn.
“It’s for the best,” I made myself say. “It was a mistake for me to accept this assignment. At the time, I didn’t know about the dragon.”
She didn’t comfort me or tell me I was wrong, but I didn’t expect that from her.
“I called to offer my assistance,” she said. “Mine and Rocket’s.”
“For tracking sasquatch and goblins?”
“Yes.”
I hesitated. Mom—and Rocket—probably could help, but I well remembered the werewolf fight outside of Bend. Mom could have been killed in that incident. Even though goblins were far less dangerous than werewolves, they were up to something shifty. I still didn’t know whether to believe the sasquatch were real, but if they were, they should be Earth-based and not magical. That meant her bullets would protect her from them.
“Do you have your Glock with you?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Don’t leave home without it, eh?”
“I don’t take it to the grocery store,” she said dryly, “but I planned to do some hiking while I was here. I have to be able to protect Rocket in case we run into wild animals. Or sasquatch.”
She was so dead-pan that it was hard to tell if she was joking. “You haven’t really seen one before, have you?”
“No. I’ve heard of sightings, but I chalked it up to alcohol and wishfulness.”
I almost pointed out that most people would chalk up elf sightings to the same.
“I’d like to see one,” she added.
“Judging by the smell of the clump of fur I found, you probably wouldn’t.”
“Humor me. I can be useful.”
“I know you can. There are some two-foot-long footprints up on Cliff Way. Do you want to meet me at the house with all the broken windows in the morning? Maybe Rocket can find a trail.”
“I’d like to think I can find that trail.”
“The prints are a few days old, so I don’t know how useful they’ll be, but we can also look in the woods near the bike trail south of town. I saw some goblins out there this afternoon.” Had it only been this afternoon? This day had gone on forever. I needed sleep.
“I’ll meet you on Cliff Way in the morning. What time?”
I started to say nine, but the sun would be up at six, and I had nothing to do but read in this tent. “Seven.”
“We can do earlier if you want,” she said. “I never sleep anyway.”
“So I inherited that from you?”
“I slept okay when I was younger. Now, I wake up at four no matter what.”
Her body probably didn’t make enough melatonin or something. My problem was nightmares about all the magical beings I’d killed. Though now that Zav was back, the stupid erotic dreams would probably return. I wasn’t sure which was worse. Maybe I’d ask my doctor for a supplement that turned off dreams completely. Did such a thing exist?
“Seven. I’ll bring you coffee.” I had childhood memories of Mom making coffee in an old blue pot over a campfire, back when we’d lived in her converted school bus. I trusted she still enjoyed the drink.
“Black,” she said firmly. “Nothing weird.”
“I think, these days, it’s weird to take coffee black. Do they even allow that at Starbucks?”
“Black. Goodnight. Don’t get eaten by a dragon.” She hung up.
It would almost be easier if Shaygor wanted to eat me. That couldn’t get Zav in trouble.
Sighing, I remembered that I’d intended to warn Dimitri about Shaygor, in case the dragon went in search of witnesses to Dob’s death. I sent him a text. Since he’d gone back to Bend for a landscaping gig and was staying at my mother’s house, I couldn’t imagine how Shaygor would find him, but the dragon had found me easily enough. Who knew what powers he had?
A return text came in promptly: Thanks for the warning. Zoltan says he can make me a dragon repellent formula. I think he’s joking, but it’s hard to tell with him.
You’re not back up in Woodinville, are you?
Maybe Dimitri and Zoltan had become online chat buddies and were keeping abreast of each other that way.
Actually, yes. I’ve got my van parked behind his carriage house for now. The new owners haven’t moved in yet.
What happened to your landscaping work?
I was complaining to Zoltan about how odious it was to dig holes and install artificial turf for next to no pay, and he pointed out the difficulty of being an employee after you’ve tasted entrepreneurship.
Does selling yard art at a farmers market one Saturday count as entrepreneurship?
Absolutely. He’s helping me brainstorm ways to make a full-time income.
Speaking of money, next time you see him, ask if sasquatch fur has any value for any of his potions.
Is it okay if I call them formulas so he doesn’t go ballistic?
Call them whatever you want. Just ask if it’s worth it for me to continue carrying this smelly patch of fur around.
It was sitting on the bumper of the Jeep. I’d been unwilling to put it inside, and it definitely wasn’t coming in the tent.
He says he doesn’t want fur, but he’ll take… ugh.
What?
I’m going to make him type it. It’s gross.
Are you actually in the room with him?
I’m in his lab. He ordered a motor for his mechanical guard tarantula, and it finally arrived, so I’m enchanting it.
I looked at the curved ceiling of the tent and wondered what it said about me that having ice cream with a dragon wasn’t the weirdest thing going on in my life.
So, he’s your new best friend? Or is it more than that? Are you still wearing your cervical collar?
Greetings, my dear robber. Ugh, that was Zoltan. I am an honorable vampire, and I do not suck the blood of friends—even those with hale and appealing veins. I much prefer to taste the lifeblood of someone who’s recently been doused with dragon aura. Naturally, I look forward to your return.
Right now, I’ve been doused with sasquatch stench. What are your feelings on that?
I am uninterested in the fur, but the stench is quite powerful and has magical uses. I would consider paying for fluids harvested from the anal glands.
Dear God, no wonder Dimitri hadn’t been willing to text that.
I’m not harvesting that.
Are you certain? Sasquatch are quite elusive. The going rate is high. Not as high as dragon blood, of course. Can you get me any more of that?
I’m more likely to get some of that than anybody’s… fluids. I couldn’t bring myself to type it out either. Are you sure sasquatch have those glands? I would have guessed they were primates and primates do not.
It’s hypothesized that they share both bear and primate ancestors. Oh, if you were to bring me an entire sasquatch to study, I would also pay for that.
Then you could harvest your own glands.
Excellent. I shall look forward to your arrival with a sasquatch strapped to the roof of your conveyance.
I didn’t say I was bringing you one, but how much would you pay for it? Just out of curiosity.
I didn’t seriously plan to hunt one down. Though maybe I had confirmation now that they existed and that this wasn’t all a hoax perpetrated by the goblins. Sasquatch bodily fluids wouldn’t be listed as an ingredient in an alchemy book if they didn’t exist.
It’s me again, Dimitri texted. He’s off looking up sasquatch formulas.
Wonderful. Don’t forget to have him make you that dragon repellent. Just in case. I’m hoping Zav and I can figure out a way to convince this one to leave Earth, but I’m not sure how.
I didn’t go into how I believed Zav was in as much trouble as I was right now.
14
Rocket bounded out of Mom’s green Subaru and ran straight toward the back of the vandalized house on Cliff Way. I was standing in the driveway, holding Mom’s coffee and reading a dragon-free epic fantasy novel on my phone. I’d been up since dawn, and the lurid dreams had won out over the nightmares, leaving me wishing this town had promising offerings for one-night stands. The odds of finding a hot unattached guy in the campground seemed low, and contemplating whether we’d go to his place or mine depressed me more than amused me.
“The tracks are in the back,” I told Mom after she parked and got out.
I glanced at the passenger seat to see if anyone had come with her, but the car was empty. It wasn’t as if I’d expected Amber to show an interest in tracking sasquatch, but I wouldn’t have minded being surprised.
“None for you?” Mom accepted the coffee and headed around the side of the house in the direction Rocket had gone. She had her Glock in a hip holster, her hiking backpack on, and probably three days’ worth of food and water.
“The selection at the bike shop was limited.” I’d passed on the sweetened waters in the fridge there.
“The bike shop?”
“It’s also the coffee shop. And we can get lunch there later if you’re hungry.”
“It’s an interesting town. You can also get lunch at the hardware store.”
We’d reached the tracks, and Rocket was already zipping through the rosebushes and into the woods, so I didn’t comment further. By some silent communication, he seemed to know that Mom wanted him to follow the trail. Maybe she and Rocket had conversations similar to the ones I had with Sindari. But I bet Rocket never threatened to chew off her foot.
It only took us a few minutes to hike out of town. Rocket turned to stray into the trees instead of heading out onto cleared farmland. He could have outpaced us, but he kept turning back to check on us. The tree cover was sporadic this close to town, and we occasionally crossed roads and fields, but we headed generally south paralleling the lake. I thought we might end up in the same area where I’d seen the goblins the day before.