I nodded as several large and pissed off Fairies turned their heads and looked in our direction. Fuck. I knew they couldn't see us, but we would be so screwed if they heard us.
"So do you want me to fix your brain?" Thankfully, her squeaky little voice was now confined to my head only.
"Can you actually do that?" I asked.
"Um…no clue, but I could try. You would run the risk of getting someone else's memory along with your own, but that could turn out to be very interesting."
"I'll pass, but thank you."
"Let me know if you change your mind. I hate seeing you in pain." Susu was floating around my head again. I'd let her off my shoulder once we were invisible. She'd done some kind of bizarre voodoo so we could see each other. We were an odd but good team.
"I could give you your true form back with a Fairy essence so your Vampyre-Demon odor won't be noticed," she added.
"Did you just imply that I smell?" My eyes narrowed as Susu backed away swiftly.
"Of course you do." She giggled and floated out of reach. "But you're not stinky like the Genie. Vampyres smell like summer wind and Demons smell like brownies."
"The Hell Hounds in Hell smelled like brownies," Shit. I jackknifed forward in agony as the memory of General George Patton and Bambi came back to me. "Motherfucker, I hope I don't have too many memories left," I grunted as the pain in my chest subsided.
"Me too. That just sucks flaming assholes for you."
"That was disgusting, Susu. If you're going to swear with me as the subject stick to metaphors that don't make me want to throw up in my mouth."
"Vampyres can't puke," she informed me.
"Good to know."
"Do you want to look like Astrid again?"
I thought about it. If she changed me back and doused me in the Fairy essence, I could avoid being mobbed as Pink. That could save time and lives. I missed my long hair and my own body. Pink was awesome, but I wasn't too bad myself.
"Yep. Do it…Wait. Do I have to drink something that tastes like ass?" I winced at the recent memory of The Kev's potion.
"Absolutely not." She giggled and flipped. "Mini Elves are the second most magical beings alive. I don't need potions or spells. I am fabulous!"
"Yes, you are." I grinned and then paused. "What are the first most magical beings alive?"
"True Immortals," she whispered reverently.
I was struck dumb. I was a True Immortal. I was related to several other True Immortals. Was she fucking with me? I was one of the most powerful beings alive?
"I'm a True Immortal."
Susu paled and her lavender eyes grew huge. "Who are you?"
"I'm Compassion."
Finally the little shit was speechless—not still, but speechless. She must have bowed to me a hundred times before she ran head first into the fourteen carat gold plated wall. Her excitement was alarming and flattering. I was like a freakin' movie star to her. Was being a True Immortal really such a big deal? Dang it, I wished I could remember.
Susu's eyes were a bit dilated after her session with the wall, but her tiny voice came back with a vengeance. I was a worried she'd given herself a concussion, but I figured she'd survive a common human ailment.
"I can't believe my new best friend is a True Immortal," she squealed. "It really is fitting. We are both gorgeous and powerful and…"
"Humble?" I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Well, no not really, but you can be if you want to. So Astrid or Pink?"
"Astrid," I said. "Can you give me less hookery clothes?"
"Prada? Chanel? Stella McCartney? True Religion?"
"Prada will be just fine." I grinned and slapped a high five with my little buddy. I used my pinkie so I didn't crush her. She was growing on me, kind of like a fungus—an attractive, sweet smelling fungus.
"Shut your eyes," Susu whispered. "It won't taste bad, but it might hurt like a bitch dick of a mother fuckin' bastard asshole."
I grimaced at the fact I had to suffer more pain, but mostly because she'd shoved every legal swear word into one sentence. She was good. Really good.
Chapter 15
When explaining the supernatural to your child, (if you choose to do so) don't leave out the unsavory parts. Most children think Fairies, Elves, Trolls and Unicorns are delightful creatures. They are not—especially the Trolls. Make sure you put the fear of God in your child or he could end up hanging out with the wrong crowd in high school.
Susu was correct. It hurt like a bitch dick of a mother fuckin' bastard asshole. We went to a deserted alcove in the castle just in case I screamed. I didn't. I sucked it back and pictured Ethan. Where was he and was he okay? The thought of losing him was not an option. The faster I could save his gal pals the faster I could get to him and his child. And where in the Hell was The Kev? I didn't sense either of them in this building. They had to be in the Palace. That was where the baby Samuel was being held. I was sure this was the correct order of rescue. I knew the Grand Fun Palace was where The Corrine resided and assumed it would be heavily guarded. Although, after seeing how many guards were in the Castle, I couldn't even imagine the numbers at the Palace.
"Where's the dungeon?" I asked Susu as she fretted over the pain she'd caused me.