I’d thought the work would help take my mind off Beth, but all I could think of was her in that dress, dancing with other men and going back to Brent Lassiter’s place. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t been alone with him and nothing had happened. Just the thought of what might have happened made my heart pound and my nostrils flare.
“You okay, man?”
I looked up to find Brock watching me with his eyebrows raised in question.
“Yes.” I went back to my report, only to discover the mangled remains of my computer mouse.
Groaning inwardly, I tossed the lump of plastic in the trash and stole the mouse from the nearest computer, aware that Brock was watching me with undisguised curiosity. It was clear he hadn’t heard about Beth and me, and I was in no mood to fill him in. By noon today, everyone living here would know Beth and I had bonded.
Not that I cared who knew. The shock was wearing off, and in its place was a lightness I’d never experienced before. Beneath the turmoil and uncertainty, I was elated because I could finally acknowledge what my heart – and my Mori – had been telling me for years. Beth and I belonged together.
Now, I had to convince her of that.
Beth
I shouldn’t have come back here. I wasn’t ready to see him or to face what had happened. The last hour felt almost like a dream. A bad dream where I’d bonded to the man who’d broken my heart and had made it abundantly clear he didn’t want me. He’d stayed away from his home for four years to avoid me. If that hadn’t driven the message home, nothing would.
I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. God, how could this have happened? How could I have bonded to him of all people?
No one knew what made someone a potential mate. Most people believed it had to do with the compatibility between two Mori. But some people thought it was because of an even deeper connection. They believed two people who were destined to be together would eventually find each other. Neither of these beliefs was helpful or comforting to me now, not when it was Chris I’d bonded to.
I believed Chris when he said he hadn’t meant to hurt me, but his apologies couldn’t erase the past. His abandonment had cut me deeply and had changed me, hardening me against being that trusting and open with my heart again. I loved Mason, but it was a different kind of love, a safe love, and nothing like what I’d felt for Chris. It was the only kind of love I could trust.
I jumped when someone lifted the pillow covering my face, but it was only Mason, his eyes dark with concern. Fresh tears blurred my vision, and he sat with his back against the headboard, pulling me into his arms. With him I didn’t have to be strong, and I gave into my tears as he held me.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked after I’d finally stopped crying.
I hiccupped. “I didn’t want to believe it.”
He hugged me tighter for a few seconds. “And now?”
“Do you even need to ask?”
“Guess not.”
We were silent for a few minutes before he spoke again.
“Chris said to tell you he’s there when you’re ready to talk. If it makes you feel any better, he’s pretty upset, too.”
“He can’t be too happy about this either.”
Chris was probably out there figuring out the best way to get out of this, although there was only one solution to our dilemma. The question was, which one of us would do it first.
Mason sighed. “I have to admit he seems more worried about you than anything else. All he cared about was how you were doing. I thought he was going to go through me to get to you when I told him you were crying.”
I leaned away to glower at him. “You told him I was crying?”
All I needed was for Chris to know how deeply this affected me. Bonded males were known to act irrationally, and he might think he had to complete the bond out of some misguided sense of chivalry. No, thank you. If I took a mate, it would be out of mutual love, not out of obligation.
Mason’s brows drew together. “I was angry because you came home bawling your eyes out, and he’s the only one who can make you cry like that.”
I let out a ragged breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking this out on you.”
“That’s what best friends are for.”
He pulled me back so I was propped up against the pillows next to him. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he clasped our hands together.
I’m bonded to Chris.
It sounded unreal no matter how many times I said it in my head. How often had I dreamed of this when I was younger? There’d been a time when I would have given anything to be Chris’s mate. Now I only wanted to come out of this with my heart intact.
“What do I do?” I said more to myself than to Mason.
His fingers flexed around mine. “What do you want to do?”
“A part of me wants to walk out there right now and break the bond.”
“And the rest of you?”
A painful knot formed in my throat. “The rest of me wants to curl up in a ball and cry some more.”
“Then cry if that’s what you need to do. I’ll make sure your room is stocked with Kleenex until you’re done. Just promise me you’ll shower. I still have to share this house with you.”
I let out a choked laugh. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
The room grew quiet for a long moment.
Mason cleared his throat. “Can I ask you…? What does it feel like?”
If the question had come from anyone else, I wouldn’t have answered it. It wasn’t a taboo subject, but bonding was a deeply personal experience and people generally didn’t go into the details. I’d always been curious about it, too, and I knew Mason would share it with me if he were in my shoes.
“It’s hard to describe. It’s like finding out I’m no longer alone, only I never realized I was alone until now. I can sense him when he’s near, but even when he’s not, I’m aware of him.”
“Wow. It sounds intense.”
“It is.”
Longing poured from my Mori as it tried to reach across the new bond to Chris’s Mori. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like in a few days or weeks. I’d thought it strange when Sara told me she hadn’t really felt her bond with Nikolas until they completed it. Now, I was envious of her. There was something to be said for blissful ignorance.
Mason released my hand. “You should get some sleep.”
I nodded and sat up, my eyes going to the front door, which was visible from my bedroom.
“Do you think he’s still out there?”
“Probably. I can ask him to leave if it bothers you,” Mason said.
“No. It’s okay.”
I wasn’t the only one affected by this. If Chris felt half of what I did, he couldn’t be doing too well either. If it made him feel better to stay near tonight, who was I to send him away? Tomorrow, we’d sort this out and decide the best way to handle it.
Mason got off the bed. “Okay. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night.”
I slid down into the bed, burrowing beneath the covers. I should have showered, but with everything else that had happened tonight, I couldn’t bring myself to care about much of anything.
I tried to clear my mind to help me sleep, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw Chris’s face. I let out a shuddering breath. It was going to be a long night.
Solmi, whispered a mournful voice in my head.
Chapter 7
Beth
“How do people study in a place like this?” I asked Sara as we exited Our Lady of Mercy Academy. It was lunchtime, and the halls were full of girls rushing to the cafeteria. The school was so noisy and crowded, nothing like the quiet classrooms at home.
Sara laughed. “You don’t get much studying done at school unless you go to the library. I spent a lot of time in the library at my old school.”
I watched three girls run past us down the steps. “Was your school like this?”
“Pretty much, except mine was smaller and we had boys and girls.”
We headed for the parking lot where we’d left the SUV. Our visit to Jessica Ryan’s school had turned up no clues about her disappearance, and nothing we’d learned about the missing girl was out of the ordinary. Jessica was well-liked, a straight-A student, and she sang in the choir. She didn’t have a boyfriend, and she’d rarely missed a day of school.