“And now I’m here.”
“All of you?” I asked, but he just stared blankly at me, so I added, “All of you from the school are here?”
He looked out the window again. “By the time they were done with us, there weren’t enough of us left for the word ‘all’ to apply.”
“Oh.” Hell, what else could I say? “I’m sorry.” It seemed inadequate, but I said it anyway. “But I don’t see what that has to do with me.”
“Don’t you? You’re the first friend I’ve seen in months. Since being sent off to that hellhole.” His voice was edged with frustration, so I decided not to point out that “friend” wasn’t the word I would have used to describe us. “Could you just—I don’t know—take pity on me or something?”
I could have told him to go find someone else he’d known in the Before. Sure, out of the thousands of Greens on the Farm, most were strangers, but there were a couple hundred Richardson High alums scattered around. Last I’d heard, there was a group living over in Baker Hall. A few had even become Collabs.
In the end, it was his vulnerability that made me cave. Carter had been a bit of a badass in school. Hell, he’d stolen a car and been sent off to military school. The fact that he was acting all emo now was what wore me down. Because if one of the toughest guys I knew was asking for help, then how could I turn him away?
“Crap,” I muttered. This was just the last thing I needed.
He must have realized how close I was to giving in, because he took a step forward and said, “At least let me stay here for a couple of days. You and Mel can show me around.”
I studied him, still trying to pinpoint the source of my anxiety. “How did you know Mel was with me?”
“Why wouldn’t she be?”
I didn’t like that he’d been following me, even if it had been only for a few minutes. Even if it was only because I was the first person he knew from Richardson High. On the other hand, at least I no longer had to worry about some faceless Green selling us out to the Collabs.
“Where have you been sleeping until now?”
“I haven’t been. I spent most of the last two nights sitting in the hall in one of the dorms. I slept about thirty minutes the first night. Someone stole my backpack, so I’ve stayed awake since then.”
“You haven’t slept?” He did look tired, but he hadn’t slept at all?
“Military school,” he said simply. “We learned survivalist stuff like that.”
I had the feeling I was going to regret this, but I couldn’t just kick him out. I mean, besides the fact that I couldn’t actually kick him out. Our little tussle had proven that.
“Look, I can’t make you leave, even if I wanted to.”
He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Hey, I’m not going to force my way in here. I don’t have anywhere else to go, but if you want me to leave, I’ll leave.”
“Okay, leave,” I said, trying to be strong enough to send him away. And partly just to see if he would go, because I didn’t like being backed into a corner.
“I—” He blinked, looking surprised. “Okay. I’ll go.” He glanced around the room, like he was looking for anything he might have left behind. I looked, too, for a second, before remembering that he didn’t have anything. Everything he owned had already been stolen. He gave his shoulder a little shrug and then headed for the door. “Guess I’ll see you around.”
I gritted my teeth, shaking my head at my own idiocy. “Look, there are plenty of empty classrooms. I’ll loan you a blanket.” I knew I’d regret that later, but I couldn’t just boot him out entirely. Not when he looked so lost all of a sudden. Not when it was Carter. Maybe he and I hadn’t really been friends, but he’d always been so nice to Mel. I had a natural soft spot when it came to people who were nice to Mel. The least I could do was loan him a blanket and let him stay nearby. I’d slept on these floors myself and I knew how hard they were. “I probably even have an extra bag you can use. There’s an office two floors down with a wooden chair in it; you can carry it up to wedge under the knob. It’s enough to keep people out.”
“So I can stay?”
“Just try to stay out of our way. Mel doesn’t like strangers and I don’t want her to get upset.”
“I’m not a stranger,” he pointed out. “I know her.”
Back in the Before, Mel had been . . . not normal—never that—but her ASD symptoms weren’t so severe. She’d been mainstreamed into some classes at school. She’s talked, socialized, joked. Yeah, her jokes were usually stiff misfires, but I’d gotten them.
I missed that Mel, almost as much as I missed the person I’d been in the Before. I missed my sister. I missed having someone to talk to.
“Fine. You can walk down to fourth meal with us. I’ll see how it goes. But if she can’t take it, you leave, okay?”
“Okay.”
“There’s something you should know, though. Since coming to the Farm, she’s been . . . different.”
He frowned. “How?”
I could see his curiosity. “When you knew her, she had her ASD symptoms almost under control. I mean, yeah, she was Mel, but she was . . .” I cringed. Why did this seem so awkward? So I just blurted it out. “When we were kids, she did this thing where she only talked in nursery rhymes. Her therapist thought she did it because she was just repeating everything I said. Or maybe because they’re so rhythmic and she loves music. But she grew out of it and by the time you knew her in high school—”
Carter reached out like he was going to grab my hand, but then he didn’t.
I looked up at him.
“Hey,” he said. “You know I’m okay with Mel. I’m not going to do anything to upset her.”
“I know.” Strangely, I did know that. He kindness toward Mel was one of the reasons it had been so easy to crush on him. Even when he was a jerk to me, I knew he was a nice guy underneath.
“I just thought I’d tell you. That way you won’t be surprised. Because she’s not like she used to be.”
Not that any of us were.
Carter nodded, like he got it. I didn’t bother to tell him that he probably wouldn’t have to do anything. Mel was already freaked out. Between me being gone earlier and my long absence now, who knew what kind of shape she’d be in?
“Go down and get one of those chairs I mentioned. I’ll leave the blanket here.” I patted my hand on top of the nearest lab table. “For now, stay across the hall. I’ll come wake you when it’s time for fourth meal.”
“Thanks.” A slow smile teased his lips. “Then I’ll see you at dinner.”
I crossed to the door to the storage closet, but glanced back over my shoulder. He was watching me, hands shoved deep into his pockets, looking almost smug.
“And try to find a razor and shave.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t like the beard?”
“It makes you look too old. You don’t want to give any of the Collabs a reason to give you a hard time.” Or maybe I just wanted him to look more like I remembered him looking in the Before. Though why that should matter, I didn’t know. He wasn’t that person anymore. None of us were. “You should try a little harder to blend.”
I shook my head, thinking of all the things he didn’t know about surviving on the Farm. I had a lot to teach him and not much time to do it.
Plus, I had a lot more questions I wanted answers to. Like how had he escaped from the Ticks attacking his school? From what I’d seen on the news before Mel and I had been shipped off to the Farm, the Ticks were insentient monsters. Yeah, they’d been human once, but exposure to the Tick virus had destroyed their ability to reason and to control themselves. If they’d attacked Carter’s military school, they would have eaten everything in their path. Ticks didn’t take prisoners and ship them off to Farms. There was something Carter wasn’t telling me. Were there adult Collabs on the outside who rounded up kids and forced them to come in?
I needed to know everything that had happened to Carter between the moment his school had been attacked and now. If his story didn’t make sense, then I’d worry about whether or not I could trust him. For now, I had to work under the assumption that he was the same basically good guy who’d always been nice to Mel.
That guy may not have been on our side, but he sure as hell wouldn’t be on the side of the Collabs and the Dean.
Of course, if he could explain how he’d gotten caught and ended up here, then I had to figure out where he’d gone wrong.
He’d been on the outside and now he was trapped again. I needed to learn from his mistakes. I couldn’t let the same thing happen to us.
CHAPTER SIX
Carter
Carter breathed out a sigh as he watched Lily shut the door behind her with a resounding click. From where he stood in the science lab, he couldn’t tell if the room she’d disappeared into was an office or what. He walked close enough to the door to hear the unmistakable murmur of voices, which meant Mel was in there with her.
He’d found them. Lily was alive.
After years of thinking about her and months of praying she was safe, after all the crazy stuff he’d been through trying to track her down, he’d actually found her. She was alive—breathing and unhurt—not forty feet away from him.
He nearly laughed out loud as relief flooded him. Hell, he’d practically wrestled with her. A second later his laughter died out as reality set in. Yeah, she and Mel were alive, but earning her trust was not going to be as easy as he’d hoped. The fact that they lived in this building, isolated from most of the other Greens, said a lot. They obviously kept to themselves. He couldn’t slowly ingratiate himself into their circle of friends—not that that tactic was possible now that she’d tackled him and he’d had to fight her off. That had not exactly set the tone for the kind of friendly trust building he’d wanted for their reintroduction.