My cock pressed hard against my jeans, and my pulse raced like I was a fuckin’ sixteen-year-old thinking about getting laid for the first time. But I was a Scar and she had no idea what the fuck she was dealing with.
I grabbed her by the hips and jerked her hard up against me. Then I cupped her neck, fingers cruelly digging into her flesh. “Tell me, Danni. Can you fuck me when I’m like this?” My grip tightened and I saw her wince. “Because this is me.” I felt her panic begin to surface, but I couldn’t ease up. She had to know exactly what she was asking.
“Can you?” I demanded before my mouth came down on hers. It was meant to be bruising and harsh, forcing her lips apart and taking what I’d wanted—needed. This was to make her run from me, to make her fear me. Yet, as my fingers curled in her hair and I pulled her head back, I felt her body relax and succumb to my kiss.
She moaned beneath my assault and my cock jerked. Fuck, I wanted this woman. Whether it was something in my dark world that was driving us together or just what we’d been through together . . . it no longer mattered. I had to have her and there was no turning back.
I swept her up into my arms and kicked open the gallery door. My mouth left hers for one second to grab the keys then lock the door again.
“Fuck, baby.” I stared down at her in my arms, her face flushed, lips swollen and red from my bruising kiss. “I’m going to fuck you and then I’m going to leave. You good with that?”
She nodded, her fingers curling into the back of my neck.
“I want to hear you say it, Danni. I need to know you’re okay with this.”
“You going to fuck me or stand here and talk about it?”
I growled low in my throat then strode through the gallery, carried her upstairs and tossed her on the bed. I followed, hovering over top, my weight on my knees as I straddled her. I ran my finger across her brow, loving how it curved slightly upward in the center. “I don’t do nice and sweet.”
Her eyes flickered away from mine for a second and I could see the artery in her throat throb faster. Yeah, she was scared of me and she should be. I needed possession of her and she needed submission from me, something I didn’t have in me to give.
My cock had never been so fuckin’ hard before as I waited for her to say something. I almost wished she’d push me away; tell me to go to hell. Because one thing I was certain of, leaving was going to fuckin’ destroy me.
She raised her hand to wrap around the back of my neck. “I want what only you can give me—salvation.” Before I could tell her I was no one’s fuckin’ salvation, she pulled me toward her, tilted her head and her lips took mine in a sweet, gentle urging.
I groaned and any resistance collapsed. I lowered my weight on top of her and weaved my fingers in her hair. My mouth harsh and unforgiving against hers, I took what I’d been starving for. Took what I needed. And even if I only had one night with her, I was making her mine.
I tensed as the urge to fight him overpowered my desire. I tried to push it back, but his weight wouldn’t allow me to move. He had my wrists locked in his hand above my head while his mouth drove into mine.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to move my head away from his harsh kiss.
Click.
Oh, God, please let me do this.
Click.
I curled my fingers, nails digging into my palm.
I couldn’t move. Trapped. Tied down on a cold metal . . . no, Balen was on top of me.
He reached under my top, his hand sliding up my abdomen, over my ribs and then he cupped my breast. “Fuck, little one. Your breasts are perfect.” I couldn’t focus anymore on what he was doing as the fear escalated. I couldn’t move. My arms were held down with chains. I writhed beneath him as he pinned me to the mattress.
“No. God, please no.”
My whispered pleas mumbled against his mouth and Balen jolted back so hard he fell off the bed.
I sat up the instant he was off me.
Balen ran his hand down his face then drove his fist into the floor before climbing to his feet. “I told you. I fuckin’ warned you. Jesus Christ.” He strode to the window and placed his palms on the pane. “Fuck.”
Us being together was something more than just sex. This was about conquering my demons, and I suspected it was about conquering his as well. Maybe neither of us had the power to defeat the memories, but we could replace them with new ones.
“This was a bad idea.”
“Balen, if you don’t hold me down, then—”
“No. Fuck no.” His head lowered as he shook it slowly from side to side.
I got up and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He was stiff and unmoving as I leaned in and pressed up against him. “It has to be you.”
“Damn it, Danni. I’m not what you need right now.”
“You are. You’re exactly what I need and want.” I gripped the bottom edge of his shirt then slowly pulled it up and over his chest. “Raise your arms,” I whispered. Standing on my tiptoes, I nipped his earlobe when he hesitated.
Balen groaned then yanked his shirt off the rest of the way. “You’re not ready for this, Danni.”
“Yes, I am.”
He swung around and our eyes locked. “You just freaked out with me on top of you.” His eyes were dark and hard, and yet, beneath that I saw the uncontrollable desire threatening to give way.
“I’ve felt numb to desire—until now. I don’t know why it’s you and right now I don’t give a fuck.” I was determined to have him. To end this constant torment that gripped my mind and wouldn’t allow me to feel anything but fear.