I tuck the watch behind my back. “Aiden, it’s time. I know what I have to do—what we have to do.”
He crosses his arms. “I’m not doing anything. I already told you I’m not one of Monarch’s soldiers anymore. I made that choice a long time ago.”
“Even if it means you’ll die,” I finally say.
But he already knows. “Even if it means I die, yes, I’m not becoming a Day Taker.”
I enclose my fingers around the watch. “Aiden, it’s not just about being Monarch’s soldier. It’s about the truth. It’s about a world full of sunshine and green grass. It’s about life.”
“What have you seen?” He picks up the flashlight and shines it in my face. “A lot, I’m guessing.”
“But not enough.” I sigh, blocking the light with my hand. “I have to fix this, Aiden.”
“You think you have to fix the world because that’s what Monarch programmed you to think. If you could just see past him, you’d realize that living your life is what’s important.”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Where my life—where everyone’s lives went. Things used to be so different. And we were alive to see it, even though we were always told we weren’t.”
He sets the flashlight on the ground and guides me down by my hips. He pulls me onto his lap, so I’m straddling him. “Just because things were different, doesn’t mean they were better.”
“I don’t agree with you.” I set my hands on his shoulders. “They killed everyone on the hillside, Aiden. The Highers’ death and control isn’t just limited to The Colony.”
“That’s because Dominic is a traitor,” he breathes bitterly. “He turned over our location to the Highers.”
“What?” My jaw drops. “How did you find this out?”
Ryder rolls over and her hand searches for Aiden as she mutters in her sleep.
“Maci,” Aiden whispers. “She said she saw—well in her head she saw Dominic make a bargain with them. He’d tell them where we—where you were—and in return they’d take him back to The Colony.”
I remember my brief visit with the old man vaguely. “But he hated Highers. He kept talking about them being against nature and needing to die.”
“Well, he must have had a change of heart.” He swallows hard and hugs me closer. “Kayla, I’m so sorry.”
I press my lips together. “For what?”
“For telling Dominic what I saw you do that night—when you scared off dozens of vampires. If I never told him, then he never would have become interested in you. He knew there was something about you that the Highers wanted.”
“But why would he want to go back to The Colony,” I wonder. “It’s horrible there. And he was so against the Highers.”
“Could you two keep it down over there,” Sylas mutters, irritated. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”
“You’re not,” I retort over my shoulder. “You never sleep. You’re just pretending you are.”
Aiden tucks a finger under my chin and turns my head to him. “Hey, just ignore him, okay? He’s just trying to get to you.”
“Like you need to tell her that.” Sylas snort a laugh. “And I think the only person I’m getting to is you.”
Aiden lifts me from his lap and gets up. Sylas matches his move and they meet each other in the middle of the cave. Testosterone pours off of them as they clench their fists, ready for a smack down. I’m going to let them do it, because it distracts them from what I’m doing.
I crawl over to Ryder and take the knife out of my back pocket. “I’m sorry,” I whisper before vaulting on her.
Her eyes sprout open and her body shudders. I position the knife to her throat and say in calm voice, “Don’t even think about screaming.”
She glowers at me, hating me, but keeps her mouth shut.
“Good,” I say. “Now tell me what I need to do to get my memories out of Aiden’s head and into mine.”
“I’m going to kill you for this,” she snarls, but she’s lying. She doesn’t have murder in her. “I swear I will, Kayla.”
“No you won’t.” I tip the blade closer to her throat. “And you’re right to be afraid of me. I’m dangerous. Now tell me what I want to know.”
Her lips quiver and a tear slips down her cheek. “Put the watch to the back of my neck and hold it there for as long as it takes.”
“As long as it takes for what?”
“You’ll know when it happens.” She’s scared to death.
I feel bad, just not enough to stop. I align the pocket watch with the red circle on the back of her neck.
“Please, don’t do it,” she begs though her sobs. “You don’t know how bad it is for me.”
I hesitate. “Then explain it to me.”
“I can’t.” Tears spill from her eyes. “I really can’t.”
“Then I’m sorry.” I force the watch against her neck and the metal warms. It singes my flesh and I bite down on my lip to stifle the scream clawing up my throat. My hand spasms and my knees shake. But I refuse to pull it back. Sylas and Aiden argue in the background, growling words of hate. Ryder’s eyes zip from side to side and then her head joins in. Bright blue rays of light shoot out from her neck and connect with the watch. It heats hotter than fire and instinctively, I drop the watch.
Ryder’s silent, her eyes close, her heart lifeless.
“Ryder?” I pat her cheek, trying to wake her. “Ryder, can you hear me.”
“What did you do to her?” Aiden puts his hand on Ryder’s cheek, his eyes full of fire. “Kayla, you killed her!”
“She’s not dead,” I fib, guilt washing over me. “She’s just unconscious.”
His fingers tremble to feel her pulse. “No, no, no. You killed her.”
I back away, shaking my head. “No, I didn’t. No…” But her heart’s not beating. I want to run. I want to flee from everything I’m feeling. I bump into Sylas and he encloses his arms around me, like he knows what I’m thinking.
“Just give her a minute.” He nods his head at Ryder. “I’m sure she’ll come around.”
We wait, listening to the vampires’ cry just outside the cave.
“Come on, Ryder,” Aiden pleads in a whisper. For a second, he wants to hurt me for hurting her.
Suddenly, Ryder’s eyes flinch open. She sucks in a huge breath of air and sits up. Her pupils are dilated so large her eyes are black. “Moartea,” she breathes and her pupils target Aiden. “Monstru.”
“What is she saying?” I ask Sylas.
“She called him a monster,” he explains. “And she warns us all of death.”
“She knows the Highers' language then,” I say, remembering that I spoke it once, yet I still don’t understand it.
“I don’t think she’s Ryder at the moment,” Sylas says nonchalantly. “She crossed over into the Highers’ world.”
Aiden scowls at Sylas and then he leans closer to Ryder. “Can you hear me?” He cups her cheek. “Please come back to us.”
“You guys need to think of her as in the state right between when your memories are being erased and when you revive from them.” Sylas tightens his arms around me. “The time when your mind is weak and vulnerable.”
I elbow him away. “Let’s just get this over with.”
Aiden jumps in front of me and thrust his hand out, nearly hitting me. “You’re not going near her.”
“Aiden.” I stand firm. “Move out of my way. I’m not going to hurt her. I just need her help.”
“She’s already hurt,” he snaps. “This is hurting her. Can’t you see that?”
“No, she can’t feel a thing,” I lie, losing count of the number of lies I’ve told for the day.
He points at my arm. “You’re lying. You just scratched your wrist.”
I look down and my hand is itching away. I hide them behind my back. “Aiden, either you can move out of my way on your own or I’ll make you move.”
Aiden fears the thought, but he cares for Ryder too much to back down. “Then I guess you’ll have to make me.”
Sylas is ecstatic over the situation. “I have never seen you two fight like this,” he comments. “It’s pretty entertaining.”
I glare at him. “Shut up. You’re not helping.”
“If you wanted my help, all you have to do is ask.” He strolls forward eagerly.
I lay my hand against his chest and secure him back. “I can handle this. You stay back.”
“Are you sure?” He smirks.
I nod and turn to Aiden, crossing my arms as I deliberate what to do. Slam him down, knock him unconscious.
He folds his arms and stands with confidence. “Juniper,” he says in angelic voice. “I know you won’t hurt me.”
The rays emitting from Ryder’s neck flicker. Time's running out and a choice needs to be made. Like the soldier Monarch built me to be, I tackle Aiden. But our strengths match and he manages to detain us from falling to the ground. His boots skid against the dirt as he forces me backward.
“Juniper, knock it off,” he grunts, red faced. “This isn’t you.”
“How do you know?” I push back. “I don’t even know who I am.”
“Yes, you do.” He twirls me around and his arms sneak around my stomach. “And this isn’t it.”
“Maybe it is,” I huff and stomp on his foot. “Maybe you just never wanted to see what I really was.”
“I know you better than anyone.” He stiffens in pain, but doesn’t let me go. “And the Kayla I know is kind and… and she loves me.”