“Um, thanks,” I said, extricating myself and moving away. I knew I may have lost a few points by moving out of lip range, but I had no intention of making out with my Cousin Wrath.
“Did you realize that huge penises were thought to be disgusting in Ancient Greece? That’s why all the statues are sporting itty bitty marble man junk,” Envy said, reading straight from her phone.
“Give me the phone before I zap it and shove it up your ass,” one of the sisters I hadn’t been introduced to said. It had to be Gluttony, Pride or Sloth . . . I was betting on Sloth. Although beautiful, she was a wrinkled mess and looked as if she’d just rolled out of bed.
“That’s Sloth,” Dixie said, confirming my guess. Sloth grinned and nodded. “And the other two are Pride and Gluttony.” All three girls had varying shades of dark brown hair and golden eyes. They were identical for all intents and purposes, only little things made them differ. It was difficult to tell them apart except for Sloth’s sloppiness. “They’re triplets,” Dixie added.
“Wow.” It was all I could think of to say. This was a whole new world of strange. I was a bit overwhelmed by my new family and not in a warm and fuzzy way.
“So Dixie,” Greed said with her hands clasped in excitement. “I think you’re going to be assigned tonight.”
“But I’m too young,” she gasped. She grabbed my arm so tightly I was sure a bone would snap. Her dismay and fear were so evident that I stayed still and let her maim me. I was a Vamp. I’d heal.
“Oh, honey child, I was fourteen when I got assigned,” Greed laughed and kissed her forehead.
What the hell did assigned mean? Clearly Dixie wasn’t on board with it.
“That was eight hundred years ago,” Dixie said.
“You’re twenty,” Envy chimed in, “and for whatever reason, Daddy thinks you’re going to come into a bunch of power very soon.”
“Wouldn’t it be better if I was at home when my powers emerged?” my sweet and terrified cousin asked.
“Nope.” Envy smiled and ran her beautifully manicured hand down Dixie’s cheek. “There are things happening that need to be dealt with and Daddy thinks you’re the gal to do it.”
Dixie was on the verge of tears and I was sure my arm would never be the same. I was tempted to ask what they were talking about, but I was afraid if I opened my mouth I would scream in pain.
“I haven’t had much training and I suck at being a Demon,” Dixie said desperately.
“Oh baby,” Sloth cooed, pulling her close and thankfully disengaging her from my arm. “You’re a beautiful Demon. None of us were trained before we were assigned. Lucifer believes in on the job training. You can’t conquer the world without failing miserably first, sweetie.”
“What if all I do is fail?” she whispered.
“You won’t, my darling.” Wrath smiled and gave her baby sister a quick hug.
“Of course you can bring your imaginary friend,” Lust said and elbowed Pride with glee. Dixie blushed a deep red and stared at the floor. She certainly seemed a little old for an imaginary friend, but who was I to judge? Growing up in Hell surrounded by nightmare inducing siblings had to be hard.
“Shut up, Lust. Stop being a bitch.” Wrath turned on Lust so quickly the air around us cooled. Lust closed her mouth and stared daggers at her sister. “You do not want to fuck with me,” Wrath hissed, advancing on Lust.
“Enough,” Greed snapped and separated her sisters before they had a go at each other. If this was good behavior, I would hate to see the alternative.
“Ohhhh, here he comes,” Sloth said, causing all to stand at attention.
A hush fell over the room as Satan entered. His beauty was absurd. Demons were an extraordinary looking race, but Satan put all to shame. His black Armani suit fit to perfection and he wore his black silk shirt open at the neck. It wasn’t just his looks, it was his aura—something intangible. Sheer unadulterated power. It was obvious by the reaction in the room that he instilled rabid loyalty, adoration and fear. He was beloved by his people and despised by his enemies. And he clearly loved being in charge.
“Good evening, my Demons,” Satan laughed, showing even white teeth and dimples that brought women to their knees. My cousin Greed snuck up behind me, poked me in the ribs and made a gagging sound as all the women in the room swooned over her father—my uncle. I stifled my grin and watched the drama unfold.
“Greed,” Dixie whispered in a panic, “am I getting assigned because I sent money to feed humans?”
“Of course not,” Greed whispered back. “Now hush.”
She did.
“Welcome my people,” the Devil’s voice boomed through the Grand Ballroom. His second in command, Cole, stood on his right and the skanky consort Amanda stood on his left.
“That’s certainly new,” Envy said under her breath.
“What’s new?” I asked, looking around. Dumb question because everything was new to me, but I was curious and Envy was approachable . . . kind of.
“I’ve never known a consort to stand so close to him at a public event. She has some big balls.” Envy glanced around at her sisters who were watching their father and mistress with great concern.
“Tonight is a night for celebration.” He grinned and my breath caught. His beauty was ridiculous. “My consort carries my child and she tells me it’s a son.”