“Thank you.” I have no idea what he’s thanking me for. I should be the one thanking him, but I don’t have the time to say it because his mouth covers mine. He kisses me sweetly, slipping his tongue into my mouth. My tears mix with his taste as I kiss him back. His lips feel so different than Caleb’s as they tease mine.
Gabe pulls me tighter against him and deepens the kiss. It becomes fiercer, needier. Almost like he craves me.
And I want to crave him back, but I hate myself for what happens next. Caleb fills my mind. His kisses, his words, his smile. After everything, I still love him.
I move to pull away, but Gabe does it first. He jerks back from me, stepping backward and away. How did he know what I was feeling? Maybe he felt me start to pull away first? “Gabe, I’m sorry. I…” I try and step closer, but he backs away.
“Don’t. Stay away from me.” Gabe’s typical, smooth voice holds a rough edge.
“I’m not ready. It’s not you. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re my friend…my best friend and I care about you.”
“Care? Ha. Just go, Abigail.”
He hates me. My one and only friend and I somehow made him hate me. What’s wrong with me? It’s like I ruin everything I touch. “Please, just let me drive you home.”
“Get out of here!” he bellows.
A new wave of tears stream down my face as I run to my car, jump in and drive away.
Chapter Seventeen
I stare off to the side of the road as Mom drives me to school. I thought about faking sick today. I almost did, but what’s the point? I couldn’t stay away forever. One day or another I’d have to face whatever waits for me at Karma High so why not get it over with now? Show the LP, Caleb and his friends, or whoever else knows about what happened that they can’t get me down that easily. That I’m stronger than them.
It’s a lie of course, but I’m getting used to the lies by now. I’m a regular politician with all the untruths that come out of my mouth.
I crack the window, needing air. Mom knows something’s going on. She knew it last night, but I played it off that it had to do with our fight, and then my losing my job. Luckily, she believes me. See? Politician? I make people believe me no matter what I say.
I’ve never felt as ill as I feel right now. My eyes ache, but nothing like my chest. My stomach is sick. Karma is squeezing the life out of me and I can’t find it in myself to care.
Tears threaten my eyes. I still remember what it’s like to be kissed by Caleb. How my insides melted whenever he called me Kitten. But I’m madder at myself than I am him because I made it so easy on him.
“Abbs? Are you sure you’re okay, kiddo?”
I shake my head, wishing all my memories would fall out. Oh, crap. I didn’t even realize we’d already pulled up at my school. “Yeah.”
I grab the handle, but she stops me. “All that stuff you told me about friends, and vamp freak? I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t know.” Tears fill her eyes. “I didn’t know…” she whispers again.
I lean over and hug her. “I know, Mom. I love you.” I’m done caring about the rest of it. I don’t care what she believes in because she loves me. When everyone else walks away from me, she’ll always love me.
“I love you too, Abby.”
I get out of the car. “I might be late after school. Don’t worry.” I slam the door before she can argue. I’ll have nowhere to go, but I’m not sure I can handle being home either.
With a sigh, I head toward the building to face my day.
***
Nothing has happened. No laughs, names or sneers. Between each class, I’m waiting. Waiting to hear the words vamp freak. Wondering when the ball will drop and they’ll all chime in about what happened at Sampson’s. Teasing me on how I could ever think Caleb Evans would like me. Obviously I’m not just a freak, but a stupid one.
But they never come.
All the other students laugh together at jokes I’ll never be in on, but for now, at least they’re not about me. They answers teacher’s questions, get sent to the principal, complain about cafeteria food just like today is a normal day. Like I wasn’t in the middle of some psycho-drama last night in the middle of the town’s diner.
Is it possible they don’t know? How could they not? News travels around Karma faster than a salon filled with old women. What would be the point in everything Caleb and Stacy did if they aren’t going to blab about it?
I continue through the day, waiting to be the punch line. Waiting for the joke where I’m the proverbial butt. And that’s not even the worst part of my day. The part that really slays me, pun intended, is that I can’t stop myself from looking for Caleb. I scan the halls all day, bail on the lunchroom scene to peek across the street to see if I see him. I’m like a regular stalker, but he’s nowhere to be found.
And I’m the idiot who’s worried about him. I can’t shake the feeling that something’s…off. How could someone fake the terror I saw on his face? The pain in his voice? Last I checked, Caleb’s not a professional actor.
Stop it! How could I explain Stacy? The way she approached him at the diner? My head feels like it’s going to split in two.
The bell rings. I glance over at Stacy who’s pretending I don’t exist. Funny how that’s what I always wanted for her to pretend I’m not around, but now that she’s doing it, I’m angry. Why did she ruin my life if she wasn’t going to do it completely?
She’s laughing when she walks past me and I can’t hold it back anymore. Years of pain and torment twist together creating a powerful tornado inside me.
And I push her.
Stacy stumbles forward, her hip catching on one of the desks.
“Fight!” Someone yells. I hear the teacher in the background, but right now, I don’t care.
“Why! Why did you do it?”
She’s looking at me like I’m crazy, and maybe I finally am. Pushing someone? Getting in a fight in a classroom?
“Do what? What are you talking about?” Stacy stands up and she doesn’t even look mad. Did I just play into her hand? She doesn’t look smug either, just indifferent, before she walks away.
“Abigail Thompson!” Mr. Henry stops up behind me, but I don’t wait for him to say anything else. I run. Through the classroom, down the hall and out the back door. My eyes blur, but I keep going until I make it to that familiar tree line.
And he’s not there. Of course he’s not there. Why would he be? Why would I want him to be? I fall to the ground and cry. What’s going on with me? I can’t believe I just pushed Stacy. That I ran out of school when a teacher called to me. Is this part of the game? To really make me go crazy? If so, they get an A—plus.
I flash back to Stacy’s face in class. To Caleb’s face in the diner. How did they act so well? Is it possible—
No! Possible that what Caleb said had been true? But that wouldn’t explain Stacy. I clutch the side of my head like I’ve seen Caleb do so many times.
In a quick movement, I shove to my feet. I have to talk to him. Have to know why he did it.
***
The Cabin’s dark. I knock on the door for at least five minutes, even trying the handle. He’s either hiding like a coward, or he’s not here. I check all our spots. Ours. What am I doing here? Why can’t I accept he’s gone and never cared?
Instead I check his swing, the creek and that first tree we talked about. It feels so long ago, rather than just weeks like it’s been. With no other options, I sit on his porch and wait, even though I know he’s gone. He always planned on leaving anyway, so what better time than after breaking someone’s heart?
It starts getting darker sooner, surrounded by all these trees. The sun falling asleep, looking for that place it hides every night. Or I guess it just decides to bless the other half of the word with its presence.
I shiver and I’m not sure it’s from the chill in the air. The headaches, the dreams, the noises outside my cabin. Noises outside my cabin…
All of a sudden, I can’t get out of here fast enough. Leaping down from Caleb’s porch, I run. It’s not far from his house to the edge of the woods where I won’t be swallowed by the shadows of the trees. By the time I clear the distance, it’s full on night. Darkness seeps around me. A wave of goose bumps travel up my arms.
I stumble off the curb, picking up the pace as I jog toward my house.
The closer I get, the more uneasy I feel. The back of my neck tingles. Caleb and my stop sign is only a few feet away, which means only one block until I’m home. When I pass the sign, someone steps out in front of me. A scream threatens to pull from the back of my throat, but I can’t make a sound. Arms tighten around me, making my survival instincts click in. I kick my captor, my heart nearly exploding in my chest.
“Shh, Abigail. It’s just me.”
I stop kicking, but still fight to pull myself free. I might recognize the voice, but I still don’t like his arms around me right now. “Gabe? Let me go!”
Just like that, his grip loosens. “I always seem to be scaring you. I’m sorry about grabbing you, but you were running so fast, you almost mowed me down. Is everything okay?”
I groan, feeling a little silly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just scaring myself half to death, that’s all. What are you doing out here?”
“I was worried. I felt terrible about the way I left things last night. I went to your window again, but you weren’t home, so I’ve been walking around out here ever since.”
Great, another stab in my guilty, untrusting heart. “I had some thinking to do…” He touches my cheek and for a minute, I wonder if he’s going to kiss me again.
“I’m so sorry, Abby. I’ve made such a mess of things.” Abby… it’s the first time he’s called me Abby. And I don’t want him feeling guilty. None of this has been his fault.
“Don’t be sorry. I’ve made an even bigger mess of things than you have. I should be the one apologizing to you.”