“I considered suicide, but the only thing that stayed my hand was the thought that it would grieve my teacher. He’d written about it, of course, arguing it was a mortal sin. And in that moment, I was more averse to his sorrow than to the fate of hell.”
“William,” Raven murmured, approaching him.
He held out his hands, warding her off.
“But I wanted to die. I begged God to kill me because I couldn’t do it myself.
“It was then, at my lowest point, I heard something rustling in the copse of trees behind me. I turned and saw a man dressed in white, coming out of the darkness.”
“An angel?”
William’s upper lip curled. “My crisis of faith didn’t warrant the sending of an angel. But in his own way, God answered my prayer.
“At first, I thought the man was one of my brothers, sent to bring me back to the monastery. I knew I would never return. My belief in God’s justice died with my teacher. I could no longer serve him.
“The man stood at a distance, watching me for some time. At length, he addressed me in Latin. His Latin was archaic and spoken with a strange accent. It wasn’t the language of the Church, but he spoke slowly and simply so I could understand. He said he could scent my despair and he asked why I, a novice dressed in the robes of a Dominican, would have given up hope.
“I explained that my teacher had died. That I was lost. That God had forsaken me. The figure smiled and said he could give me life. He could give me power and riches and purpose. He promised to be my teacher and my father.” William gritted his teeth. “He called me his son.
“He said he’d been alone for many years, that he was wealthy and had a large estate. All he lacked was an heir. ‘Put away the playthings of the old religion and become my son,’ he said. ‘I can take away your pain.’
“On impulse, I dropped the things I’d inherited from my teacher. I took off my Dominican robe and stood in my underclothes. He beckoned me. I walked toward him and he hugged me like a son.
“I wept. He kissed my forehead and turned my head to the side, then he sank his teeth into my neck.”
Raven shivered. “He was a vampyre?”
“Yes. At the time, I had no idea there were such things. I’d heard rumors of strange beings in Paris, but we thought it was the work of the devil. We didn’t think there was a different race of beings hidden among us.
“When he was finished drinking from me, he whispered in my ear, asking if I wanted the life he could give me.” William’s eyes fixed on Raven’s. “I said yes. In that moment, I felt his power. I felt the pull to join him. And I felt relief from my suffering. He placed my mouth on his neck and told me to drink.
“At first, I was horrified, but he kept whispering, ‘I will give you life. I will take your pain away. You will be my son.’” William shuddered, turning toward the gardens. “I drank.”
Raven placed her arms around his waist from behind, hugging him. He stood stiff and still, not touching her.
“What happened next?” Her voice was muffled by his jacket.
“The transformation takes time. It’s painful and confusing. I was barely conscious through most of it. No sooner had I swallowed the first taste of his blood than I felt regret. But I kept drinking.” His hands clenched into fists. “I was angry, I was in despair. Yet, even as I knew I was making a terrible mistake and unwilling to stop making it, I sent a feeble prayer to my teacher, begging his forgiveness, begging for him to pray for me.”
William placed his hands against the glass, head bowed.
“When I awoke, my body was as you see it now. My maker was standing over me with a look of triumph. He pulled me to my feet and said that he would show me my new gifts. And that’s how my life as a vampyre began.”
She hugged him more tightly, not knowing what to say.
“My maker was extremely powerful, which probably explains my strength.”
“Could he walk in the sun?”
“No.”
“But you can.”
“Yes.”
“You’re a mystery.”
“Perhaps. I spent time with my maker, who, true to his word, treated me as a son. One day I realized the normal things that deterred vampyres had little effect on me. I was wise enough to realize my discovery was something I should keep secret. On that day, I went to my maker and took my leave, saying I wanted to make my own way in the world. He gave me a father’s blessing and I left.”
“Where did you go?”
“I returned to the place where my teacher died—out of sentimentality, perhaps. I don’t know. I traveled up the hill and found that the items I’d left behind were still there. It was as if they were waiting for me. Without thinking, I picked them up. It was only later I realized they had power over other vampyres, but not me.”
“The relics,” she whispered. “They belonged to your teacher.”
“Yes.” His posture softened and he placed his arms around her. “They are all I have left of him. I don’t know why they have no effect on me, but they don’t.”
“If I were a superstitious person, I’d suggest they were a gift.”
William’s eyebrows drew together. “From whom?”
“Your teacher.”
“He wouldn’t give a gift to a creature like me.”
“He had compassion for your suffering when he was alive,” she said softly. “I don’t believe in an afterlife. But if I did, I would expect your teacher to have compassion on you still.”