With a groan of defeat, I slapped the tape over my mouth and sunk lower into the soft leather. I was a True Immortal. I was virtually impossible to kill. I could flick my fingers and decimate the continental US, but I could be reduced to poop on a sharp stick in the left eye by my beautiful repetitive child.
“Samuel, if you see anything from someone you don’t know, including the four Vampyres that were in here tonight, I don’t want you to say anything about it except to me or Mommy. Is that a deal?” Ethan asked our son as he squatted down in front of him and put his hands on his cheeks.
“Is it dangewous?” Samuel asked with big eyes, scooting closer to Ethan.
“Possibly,” Ethan replied gravely as he pulled Samuel even closer.
I hated that my oversized nine month old had to learn things that someone twenty times his age wouldn’t want to know, but our world was dangerous—and unpredictable. My son was also a True Immortal who embodied the gifts of all the True Immortals combined. He was a miracle and an anomaly. He was probably in more danger than any of us. The fact that he was as impossible to kill as I was gave me a modicum of comfort, but the thought of things far worse than death often crowded my dreams. It wasn’t so long ago that my baby was taken by the Fairies. That one still kept me up at night…
Ripping the tape from my mouth with a pained yelp, I silently swore not to let one four-letter word rip. “I don’t want Samuel around any of those fuc…ahrgers,” I said. “I want him kept out of their sight. They’ve seen him. The shi…p ass…pirins can tell all the rest of our people that he exists. He’s off limits to them.”
“Ship aspirins?” Pam asked with a wide grin.
“Zip it,” I snapped with a barely disguised grin of my own. “It worked didn’t it?”
“Mommy, mommy, mommy,” Samuel said with a giggle and a shake of his blond curls. “If you hide me, they will want me more. Spike is sad. He do some bad things, but he not all bad. He just want to be different.”
“He’s got that cornered,” Pam muttered.
“Did he open the portals?” Gareth asked, standing up with some difficulty.
Samuel thought for a moment and then shook his head. “He no open port holes.”
“We could save some time and just let Samuel touch each of them,” Gareth suggested carefully as he backed away from an instantaneously irate Ethan.
“Absolutely not,” Ethan ground out in a voice that made the entire room take a few steps toward the door.
Ethan’s fangs had dropped and his eyes blazed a menacing green. Power rolled off of him and I feared for Gareth’s undead life. However, I was completely onboard with my mate. My son would not be used in any way whatsoever in this fucking mess.
“Stay over there, Gareth,” Ethan instructed as tried to regain control of his fury. “Not quite sure I won’t tear your head from your shoulders for offering up my son as bait.”
“Ethan, I wouldn’t put him in danger,” Gareth said, holding his ground. “I’d kill anything or anyone that even looked at him sideways. I was just saying…”
“You were suggesting that the rest of our race learn of Samuel’s powers. Rationally, I understand that you didn’t mean that, but that’s exactly what it would lead to. My son’s gifts need to be kept under wraps as much as possible until he’s able to defend himself. He is nowhere near being able to defend himself. So… suggest it again and you lose your head.”
“My apologies,” Gareth said. “You are correct and I was, um…”
“You were bass-ackwards, Gong Show goofy, full of bollocks, you FUBARed?” Pam offered with a chuckle.
“Wrong would have sufficed,” Gareth said with an eye roll that he somehow made look proper.
“The Demons are nothing new. Dealing with angry Vampyres is nothing new,” Ethan said, now calm. “All of these things we have dealt with and will deal with again—many times.”
“I’m meeting with Satan shortly and I’ll have the portals closed this evening,” I told everyone. “I’m with Ethan on protecting Samuel. Anyone who goes near him without our permission will be a pile of dust.”
“Mommy, wif all due respect, Uncle Garif is right. Me can tell who is opening the port holes,” Samuel said as he crawled into my lap and laid his tired head on my shoulder.
“I’ll keep that in mind, little man,” I said as I buried my face in his soft silky curls. “But this is nothing you need to worry about right now. Do you understand?”
“Yep,” he said with a huge yawn. “Blobbityflonk can do it if you don’t want me to.”
“What?” I asked, confused. “Blobbityflonk can see people too?”
Blobbityflonk was our pet baboon—an ill-advised Christmas gift to Samuel from Mother Nature. At first I was appalled due to his odor and lack of bathroom etiquette, but I quickly fell in love with the stinky bastard. He’d grown on Ethan as well, even though he complained about him frequently.
“Yes. Blobbityflonk can do lots of stuff,” Samuel said as his eyes began to flutter closed.
“Good to know, Baby,” I whispered to my now sleeping child.
His growth spurts made him constantly tired. With an internal sigh, I wondered if he’d wake up as a teenager tomorrow morning.
“Let me take him to the nursery,” Pam whispered. She held out her arms for my boy. “We’ll stay with him until we get this motherhumpin’ clustershitwhomp figured out. You deal with that pesky pain-in-the-ass Uncle of yours, and the King and I will protect Samuel.”