Kyden stood, strong and determined. “No more of this. We are done talking.” He reached down, took my hand and pulled me to my feet. “Let’s go. I am taking you somewhere where you can have a moment’s peace.”
As we walked away, my gaze met Talon’s. He still had said nothing, but he didn’t need to. His face said it all. He was hurting.
The further away we got from them, they less I understood of what had just taken place. Why had Zia’s words affected me so? What the heck had I been crying about? I was close to her, I knew that much, but that is where the feeling stopped. It was a thought, more of a word spoken, then a feeling inside my soul. All that remained in me was a jumble of confusion. A wonderment of what it actually meant to be close to her. Why was I feeling nothing toward her? Furthermore, what did it feel like to feel anything at all?
I gave my head a shake, clearing the thoughts. “Where are we going?” I asked Kyden.
He gripped my hand, his eyes searching. Apparently whatever he was looking for, he didn’t find. His gaze tore from mine as he bowed his head. “I’m taking you to see something that is filled with happiness.”
Silence fell between us as we made our way through the grounds of the Otherworld, back toward the Council. My gaze flicked between Kyden, the grass, and the sky. I felt exhausted, nearly ready to just fall down and die.
Kyden’s presence beside me was the only thing holding me together now. His strength provided a much-needed blanket to keep going. He was right, we had now, and all I thought about. Forced myself to remember why I loved him, the way he made me feel. It surprised me to find these emotions for him still lay strong within me because besides his presence in my heart, I felt nothing else.
Once at the castle, we stepped in the foyer, then quickly made our way to the portal. Still unknowing where we going, I let my mind go blank as Kyden opened the door. The flash of light hit and when it ceased, I opened my eyes to see Valor’s home.
The view only lasted a second as I caught sight of Rynn and Briggs who approached from the side of the house.
When they reached us, Rynn gave me a strange look. “Nexi?” she said as if she’d never met me before. “Something is terribly wrong. What’s happened?”
Kyden quickly gave her a rundown, a condensed version of our hell. By the end of it, Rynn was trembling, but Briggs didn’t look shocked to hear what was being said. Apparently, word had spread about my current situation.
“There is an Underworld?” Rynn asked, her voice trembled slightly. “Like demons and scary things like that?”
Briggs nodded. “Aye.”
Then, her stunned gaze met mine. “And you’re going to be mated to their leader?”
All I could do was nod. The point of denial had passed. It wasn’t a question of if, now the only question was when. My gut told me time was counting down. My only thoughts were of Kyden. If I kept the connection with him, he wouldn’t be lost to me. That is all that mattered now.
The tone of Rynn’s voice was almost beseeching, “We have to do something to help you.” Then, she glanced back to Briggs. “What can we do to help her, Briggs?”
“I’m afraid, darlin’, there’s nothing we can do.” Then, he took my hand and pulled me away from Kyden, into a hug.
The second my touch left Kyden’s, darkness seeped in, resentment held me frozen. Resentment for what, I had no idea. All I did know, I wanted this wolf off me, and I wanted it now.
Kyden lunged forward, pulled me back to him, and the detestation within me subsided immediately. “She needs the connection.”
“He can’t let me go,” I told Briggs firmly. It was all we had left, a thin string we scrambled to keep hold of. As the words left my mouth, only a small part of me understood why I needed him so much. “We have some news of the attack on Rynn,” Kyden said to Briggs, breaking the silence that had filled the air.
Rynn’s eyes went wide. “You do?”
Kyden gave them the low down on Magnus’ plan and the extent of Rynn’s involvement.
By the end of it, Briggs looked torn. He finally glanced at me. “This comes with mixed feelings,” he said softly.
“I know,” I told him in all honesty. If Magnus hadn’t planned what he had, done what he did, Rynn would be dead and Briggs wouldn’t have met her. His mate. I gave Briggs a hug, keeping a hold on Kyden’s hand—awkward to say the least. “I wouldn’t change any of this if it meant Rynn survived. Remember that.”
Sad gazes met mine.
Tears filled Rynn’s eyes as she leaned against Briggs. “You don’t even sound like you.”
“What do I sound like?” I asked.
She wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek. “Cold.”
Again, silence fell around us as the others processed what was happening here began to sink in. It was obvious that I was changing. My heart told me to say and think things, but inside I was beginning to die. Everyone saw it.
Briggs finally let out a deep sigh, placed his hand on Kyden’s shoulder. “They are waiting for us.”
Kyden glanced down to me, gave me a soft smile. “Come on, Álainn. This night is because of you.”
I gave him a curious look as he pulled on my hand a little to get my feet working. His words confused me, what had I done that would bring us back to Valor’s?
When I met the back of Valor’s house, and saw his backfield was full of wolves, my confusion only deepened. “What’s happening here?” I asked Kyden.
He smiled. Never had his smile looked so sad. “A mating ceremony.”
“Whose?”
“Isla.”
Oh! I glanced back out, immediately connecting with Valor as he approached me. By the time he reached me, he was frowning. “Nexi,” he whispered.
“Hello, Valor,” I said in return.
His entire body tensed. Why was he looking at me like this? He could barely contain himself. What was going on? Before I could think of that anymore he leaned forward, shocking me completely when he kissed my lips.
As he backed away, he placed his hands on my shoulders, and bowed his head to meet my gaze. “You are a part of my family, no matter what. Do you hear me?”
Before I had a chance to really process that, Isla appeared beside me. She wore a long flowing pink chevron dress, her eyes focused deeply on Thor even as she said to me. “Thanks, Nexi.”
My mind reeled, trying to understand all this. Why was she thanking me? But then, a memory surfaced, a conversation with Valor. It was impossible to understand my motivations now. Why had I thought it so important that Valor agree to this bonding ceremony? After a moment of thinking, I came up blank.
Luckily, no one said more on the matter
Valor took Isla’s arm and approached Thor. Then, the ceremony began. Kyden wrapped himself around my back. I leaned against him and listened to Valor’s words. Saw the happiness spread across Isla’s face and the way Thor watched her with adoring eyes.
As each second passed and each word spoken, an odd feeling began to stir within me. I tried to shake it away, clenched onto Kyden tighter, but something about being here, seeing this bond gnawed at me. Made me yearn for something, but I just couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
“Thor.” Valor smiled, completing the ceremony. “Kiss your mate and seal your bond.”
Thor smiled gloriously, then took Isla into a brilliant kiss. Two souls, long withheld from one another had finally become one.
Swiftly, it hit me then. What I felt made sense. I was filled with an uncontrollable jealously, completely desolate that they were experiencing this and I wasn’t.
This should have been my life.
The worst part—and it hit hard—I was feeling it in Kyden’s arms. I was losing myself while he touched me. A wave of sickness washed over me. Without thought, I pulled away from him and ran.
“Nexi,” Kyden called out.
I didn’t look back as I ran toward the front of the house. Once there, away from watchful eyes, I dropped to me knees and threw up violently. I heaved so deeply, it was impossible to breathe.
After my stomach settled, I raised my head to see Rynn standing beside me.
“You okay?” she asked.
I wiped my mouth and leaned against my legs. “No.”
Anger burned within me, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why I had been throwing up. What made me sick? I knew something upset me, but I just couldn’t place it. Couldn’t remember the emotion that went with it.
Rynn lunged forward, wrapped herself around me and hugged me tight. “It will be alright. It has to be.”
My arms stayed glued at my sides, fists clenched. “No, Rynn. It doesn’t.” My voice came out as a low growl. Everything was wrong. Nothing was how it should be. I wasn’t where I should be.
Immediately, she backed away, scrambled back so she rested a foot away.
Darkness, hate and rage burned within me.
Briggs suddenly was there beside her, lifting Rynn to her feet and placing her protectively behind him. “Nexi,” he said, cautiously.
“What,” I snapped.