Home > Fashionably Dead in Diapers (Hot Damned #4)(24)

Fashionably Dead in Diapers (Hot Damned #4)(24)
Author: Robyn Peterman

"Oh my God," I gasped. "That's amazing! I can't believe you could find a dentist that would file your teeth like that." They really did look like fangs. "I know you're into the whole Vampyre thingie, but I think you're gonna regret doing that some day."

I shook my head and wondered what he had paid to get that done. As amusing and harmless as these two dudes seemed, I needed to leave. However, I was kind of curious how else they had mutilated themselves. "Can you guys do anything else?"

"She doesn't understand," Ethan said in utter disbelief.

The Kev sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling for a long moment. All of a sudden the room shook and the most gorgeous set of silver wings exploded from his back. Ethan raised his hands and flung them. A mist of golden glitter flew from his fingertips and a gentle breeze began to flow through the room. His eyes went from a beautiful gold color to a sparkling green, which made my lady bits jump to attention. Did I have Stockholm syndrome? Why I was attracted to my kidnapper? Was I still drunk?

Because none of what I was seeing was even remotely possible.

Something clicked in my head and I sat down on the couch with a thud. This was insane, but I was fairly sure they were telling the truth…or at least part of the truth. How was this possible? I wanted to believe they were deranged magicians, but the logical—or drunk—part of my brain rejected that theory.

"I'm dreaming," I mumbled. "This has to be a bad dream or a screwed up drug trip."

"It's the truth," The Kev said "And there's not much time for us to convince you."

"Why?" I demanded.

"Do you really not know?" he asked gravely.

My stomach clenched and a shiver skittered up my spine. Something was off and I needed desperately to remember. "I'm still not really buying the I'm a Vampyre and I'm a Fairy crap, but I know I'm here for a reason. I just can't remember," I whispered. "I think it's important, but I can't remember."

"Should we tell her?" Ethan asked as he squatted down in front of me and watched me intently.

His gaze made me uncomfortably hot. He was entirely too handsome for his own good.

"No," the Kev said. "She has to remember or she won't believe it. We have a little time. Let her be, Ethan."

Ethan's head whipped to The Kev in fury. I cringed a little at his ire. "We don't have any more fucking time," he hissed.

"What did I tell you about the potty language?" I yelled and slapped my hands over my ears. "You will not speak that way in front of me or I really will leave. I can put up with sharp canines and goofy wings, but I will not tolerate filthy language."

"This is bad," The Kev said. He watched me like a person watches a bad car wreck. He couldn't look away.

"What?" I demanded. "What's the problem here?"

"You normally have a mouth like a sailor," The Kev said, as he backed away just in case I launched myself at him.

"Nope, I refuse to believe that poop. I am a nice girl. I'm still not convinced my name is Astrid, but I'll answer to it until I can remember what my real name is. Also…" I eyed the hotter than sin Ethan. "You need to stay away from me. I find you redonkulously appealing and I'm pretty sure I'm already married with kids. I do not cheat."

"Um, okay," Ethan said as he choked back what I thought might be laughter. "I will respect that."

"Am I?" I demanded.

"Are you what?" he asked as his eyes sparkled even greener, which made me have to slam my legs shut and sit on my hands so I didn't reach out to him.

I rolled my eyes and then closed them tight so I could block him and his sexy face out. "Am I married with children?"

"Not exactly," he hedged.

"How does that make sense?" I asked with my eyes still sealed shut.

"You have someone in your life and you do have a child," he said cautiously.

"Horse caca, I would never have a child out of wedlock. I'm not that kind of girl."

The Kev ran from the room. It sounded like he was choking on his own spit. Ethan bit down on his own lip so hard he drew blood. My stomach rumbled and I turned away in disgust. I was not a Vampyre or a Demon. I did not want to suck the blood from his mouth and I did not want to strip him and lick every inch of his hot bod. Nope. I did not. At all. Ever. Not even a little bit. No way—no how.

Buttholes…yes I did. I wanted it so bad it physically hurt.

"Enough," I sputtered to myself more than my kooky captors as I stood. "We need to find the baby we're after and get out of here."

Wait. What? My knees buckled and I dropped like a sack of potatoes to the floor. My gut clenched in excruciating pain and my head pounded. I remembered. We had come here to save someone's baby. He was a beautiful child and he was in danger. Ethan froze and The Kev came barreling back into the room.

"You remember?" The Kev asked.

"Some." I nodded. "We are here to save a child. He's in danger and he's important to a lot of people," I said slowly.

"Who is he important to?" Ethan demanded as The Kev gave him a look.

"I don't know," I whispered and wanted to cry. "Can you tell me?"

"No," The Kev said harshly. "You have to remember on your own or none of this will work. It will fall apart and the child will be doomed."

   
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