His eyes shoot toward me. For a few long seconds, he doesn’t talk. He does nothing but stare. “Thank you.”
“You’re a good guy. I’m,” I look away from him. “I’m really glad I met you.”
More moments of silence between us before he speaks. “You shouldn’t be,” he mumbles then points to the glowing, green numbers on my dashboard. “It’s time for you to go.” Gabe opens his door. “Wait. Do you need me to drive you home?”
Gabe shakes his head, gets out of the car, and slams the door. When he doesn’t move, I start the car and pull away. When I glance in the rearview mirror, he’s already gone.
I can’t stop thinking about Gabe. Even when I’m home and in bed. He’s been through so much. Even more than I know. He’d been so upset earlier, some of what he said didn’t even make sense. I’m sure most of it had to do with anger and embarrassment. At the restaurant he told me the housekeeper is his teacher, but then he told me she got fired over his drug problem. Maybe he said she currently taught him because he didn’t expect to tell me about the drugs?
I fall asleep and as I do, Caleb floats into my head. I smile at him and my heart accelerates. Then Gabe eclipses him, pushing him out of the way. Part of me wants to cry, but the other? The other part is glad Gabe’s there too.
***
I don’t want to get out of bed this morning, but then I remember Caleb will be waiting for me. The thought catapults me out of bed. After a quick shower, I put on my favorite pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. On a whim, I slip into Mom’s room and spray myself with her perfume, careful not to use too much so I don’t smell like those old ladies who’ve lost their sniffer and use a whole bottle daily.
I scarf down a bowl of Lucky Charms before running a brush through my hair and tying it back. I’m early again, even with staying in bed an extra few minutes. I’ve been meaning to work on my promptness and now I have the perfect excuse.
A few minutes later, I’m walking out of my house and down the street. Up ahead, I see Caleb. His back is to me and he’s pacing. It’s cute seeing him all tense like that. It makes him real. Is he nervous to see me for some reason? My belly gets tingly.
I keep watching him, but things change. He bends at the waist, his hands linked behind his head. Did something happen to him? Is he hurt or angry? He stands again, rubbing his hands through his hair, before shaking his head.
The tingly in my stomach transform to nausea, eating at my insides. Something’s wrong. I feel it, clawing at me. I start to walk faster and then to my surprise, Caleb starts to walk away. I glance at my watch to make sure I’m not late, even though I know I’m not. My mouth opens to yell for him to stop, but then he does before the words leave my mouth. With the heel of his hand, he rubs his temple, before turning around, his eyes finding mine.
I stop and just look at him. We’re far enough away that I can’t see his eyes, but somehow, I know they don’t look right. He’s not standing as tall, his body not as…strong? As it usually is.
Seconds pass. I swear I hear my watch ticking and tocking in my head. But then, shivers spread through the length of me as Caleb smiles. When his hand runs through his messy black hair, it’s somehow different. He’s wearing a long sleeved, dark blue shirt and faded jeans. It’s like he transforms in front of me, from the tense, stressed-out Caleb I saw just a minute ago to the relaxed, slightly vulnerable, but proud Caleb I’m becoming so used to.
Another attack of shivers hits me, the type only he gives me. I start to walk again. He doesn’t come toward me, but he’s still smiling that real smile I didn’t know he had until recently. “Hey.” I don’t even need to ask him why he was walking away, because he’s here now.
“Hey, Kitten.”
The name ignites fireworks inside me. We start to walk together. Every few steps, I glace at him. His eyes are bloodshot. Weariness laces his features. “Are you okay?” I can’t help but ask him. At least I make sure not to tell him he looks tired even though guys, being as strange as they are, probably don’t care about that kind of thing.
It takes him a minute to answer, but I’m getting used to that coming from Caleb. It feels good to actually get used to something about someone. Like you know them in a way you didn’t before. It makes me warm inside.
When he speaks, his voice is gravely almost like he just woke up. “It’s…” Caleb shakes his head. “It’s nothing. Just bad headaches lately. I feel like I’m trying to see in the fog or something.”
Worry seeps in. “Do you have migraines?”
“I never have. Guess, I do now though.”
“Hold up.” We stop and I pull some Tylenol out of my bag. Caleb opens his hand and I shake two of them out. “I have water too. I haven’t drunk out of it yet.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not afraid of your cooties.” Caleb takes the bottle too, takes the pills and hands it back. He may not be afraid of my cooties, but I wonder if he wants them the way I want his. You know, not in a creepy, weird way, but I totally can’t wait to drink out of this bottle.
“Thanks.” We start walking again, the Caleb silence floating around us. It’s weird how he’s quiet, but I always feel like he’s staying something. It’s always comfortable, because I know it’s just a part of him. Comfortable or not, my big mouth still feels the need to interrupt the quiet.
“Why do you call me Kitten?” Gah! Why did I just ask him that? Yes, I want to know, but I can’t believe I asked him! Well, I’m a little proud of it, actually, but mostly I just want to throw up waiting to hear what he says.
Caleb opens his mouth, his tongue sliding along his top teeth. Not in the come-hither way, but the deep-in-thought way. Like always, I feel there’s a war he’s battling inside him. Does he want to tell me or not? And it’s sexy. Everything about him is sexy. His mouth closes, his tongue laced with all those cooties I want hides inside his mouth again. Finally he speaks. “You remind me of a Kitten. You’re all soft on the outside…kind of innocent, but I have a feeling there’s someone a lot tougher inside. Like the way you stood up to Cavanaugh the other day. Three on one, but as soon as someone pushed you, the claws tried to come out. You’ll grow into those claws one day and no one will be able to stop you.”
I. Just. Died. My feet cement to the ground. Heat simmers through me, wrapping around me in little ribbons. Not because I’m embarrassed, but because I’m touched. His words reach down to a place inside me I didn’t know existed. A place no one has tried to reach before, but one I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied without someone reaching again. He thinks I’m strong? I don’t feel it. Never have. “Caleb…I…”
He does the tongue thing again. Let’s out a deep breath and then groans. “I screwed up, huh?”
“What? No--”
“I shouldn’t have said anything. Can we forget I said that? Like we did with you the other day?”
Of course he had to add the last part in. No, I didn’t want to forget this at all. I wanted to ask him a million questions. Dissect everything he said and how he said it. Which I would do later on my own, but how can I tell him no when he let me forget my boyfriend comment? I can’t. I try to smile. “Forget you said what?” Inside my head, I’m already replaying his words again.
Chapter Ten
I’ve passed Caleb twice at school today and he hasn’t said a word to me. Both times he offers small smiles. Both times I return them, hoping and praying he’ll stop and say hi. Praying that Gabe was right and my newfound friendship with Caleb will be what starts to turn things around in school, but so far nothing.
It’s now lunchtime, and I’m out in the hall when everyone else has already gone to the cafeteria. I should be there too, but I know Caleb and his friends go across the street for lunch, even though it’s a closed campus. Because this time, I’m approaching him. I’m strong, right? I’m done with sitting around and waiting for things to happen. If I want to talk to him, I will. Maybe that’s even what he’s waiting for.
“Hi, Abby.”
I freeze and not because it’s Caleb’s voice, but because I do believe Hell just froze over. I turn to make sure my mind isn’t playing tricks on me. It’s not. Stacy stands about five feet away from me, the rest of her shadows missing. I turn. Nope, not another Abby behind me. I continue out of my turn and start walking the other way. Hello? Does she think I’m stupid? No way am I standing around while she pretends to be nice, meanwhile leaving me sidetracked for her friends to jump out of lockers like ninjas and attack me or something.
“Hi, Abby!” Stacy calls after me again and I’m starting to get a little freaked. Can you say ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’? I glace at her once more before rounding the corner to the cafeteria just to make sure there’s no symptoms of her becoming a zombie. There’s not, which only means one thing. The LP are up to something and I have no doubt, I’m at the center of it.
Having wasted half my lunch waiting for Caleb, I have to scarf down my lunch as quick as I can. Almost the second I finish, the bell rings. I hang toward the back, a little nervous to venture in the hallway again in case creepy-Stacy makes another appearance. When I can’t wait any longer without running the risk of being late—which I won’t let happen since I just skipped—I go. As I turn the corner, I run right into a familiar chest.
See? I even recognize his chest now. “Hi.” I smile up at Caleb, thinking maybe my karma might not be so bad.
Caleb looks down at me. “Hey.” His voice is detached, like we didn’t spend yesterday together. Like he didn’t call me Kitten because he thinks I’m strong. Like I’m a girl he doesn’t know.
“How are you?”
“I gotta run.” And then he moves around me and walks away. The little spot he found inside me just this morning slinks away and hides.