“Any time.” He shrugs.
I feel a little guilty taking his jacket because he’s only wearing a blue t-shirt, but then I remember he’s from Boston. It gets colder there than it does in Northern California so he’s probably used to it.
His arms are muscular and like the rest of him, pretty damn hot. Can arms be hot? Yes, I think so.
“So,” he says as we walk. “You were saying it sucks here? I actually think I’m going to like it.” Gabriel winks at me and my insides start fluttering. My belly feels light. I’m not sure how to respond.
“How old are you?”
“Eighteen. You?”
“Seventeen. I can’t wait until I graduate. The first thing I’m going to do is leave this town.”
We clear the edge of the woods and step onto the street. “That bad, huh? What’s there to do around here for fun?”
“Fun? What’s that?” I tease, wondering why it’s so much easier to talk to Gabriel than it is Caleb. He laughs. “Um, not much. The typical stuff, I guess. I got my first job today. I’m going to bus tables at Sampson’s Diner.”
Gabriel stops walking. They we’re only a block from my house. “That’s fun?”
My mouth drops open and I cross my arms.
“I’m kidding! Maybe I’ll have to stop in and see you some time.”
Great, I’m blushing. My heart starts to race. Do NOT have a heart attack in front of him, Abbs! The first boy to ever show interest in me and I keel over dead when he mentions seeing me again. Sounds about right. “I’d like that.” And then, even though I hate it, I say, “I need to get going though. My house is right up the street. I can make it fine from here.” I take off his jacket. The crisp breeze makes me shiver.
“You can keep it.” He cocks his head toward the coat, but I shake my head. I want nothing more than to keep this jacket so I know he will have to see me again, but the last thing I need is something I’ll have to explain to Mom. “No thanks. I’m almost home and I don’t want you to be cold.”
He takes it from me. “Thanks for letting me walk home with you, Abigail. I’ll see you soon?”
I hear the question in his voice. Is he just as nervous as me? I doubt it, but it makes me feel good to know he at least feels part of the nerves I do. “Sure.” Before I blow it, I turn and walk away. “Bye, Gabriel.”
“Gabe. Call me, Gabe.” he calls after me as I start to jog.
I run the rest of the way home. I skid to a stop in front of my house and look back. Gabe is gone. I smile. First Caleb talks to me, I get a job, and now a new, cute boy that no one else knows talks to me. Maybe my luck is going to change.
“Abby! Dear God, is that you?” Mom yells from the porch, her voice shaky.
There goes my luck.
After my neck check, the yelling begins. You just asked me to trust you and then you pull this! If you want to keep that job you’re going to have to prove you deserve it much better than this. Yada, yada until I wanted to poke my own eyes out. Or maybe ears. That would make more sense.
Finally, I make it to my room for a little peace and quiet. My body is all jittery. I pull out my Dad’s letter and wonder if it’s good luck. If somehow, having this little piece of him is making my life better. I wish for more. I want him, but this is at least something.
I grab my diary from under my mattress before sitting in front of my window. It’s always been my favorite place to sit. Like I can look out on other people’s lives and pretend it’s mine. Tonight, for the first time, I don’t feel like pretending. I just feel like living in the moment. In the hope that maybe Caleb and I can be friends. My lips stretch into a smile. Or maybe Gabe. Or both. But mostly, I’m excited for my job. For hope.
Not even the memory of Stacy and her lipstick-wearing psycho friends can bring me down tonight. Actually, I feel pretty sorry for them. If they have nothing better to do than chase me around, they need more of a life than me.
Okay, so I’m stretching it a little bit, but still.
After I scrawl every detail of my day, I close the book and let my eyes find the darkness outside. There’s movement, and my insides freeze as I think I see a figure step behind the trees. Goosebumps spring to life on my arms. I shake my head to toss the vision away, but it's still there. My legs feel heavy, like they’re anchored to the floor. I want to move them, to step away from the window, but I can’t make them work. No, no, no.
I’m hot. Burning up, but I don’t know why. The figure is still there, in the darkness. A peeping Tom? One of The LP’s minions sent to try to make me feel like I’m going crazy? Now, I squint, finally able to make my body work. I rub my eyes.
And it’s gone.
There’s nothing but dark night, trees, and houses. A shaky breath falls from my mouth. Still, I stand there, half-relieved whatever it was is gone. Who wants someone lurking outside their window, right? Definitely not a sane person and that’s what scares me because the other part of me is hoping, praying, the person will step out of the shadows just so I will know someone’s really there. It’s almost better some psycho killer or pervert be outside my window then the other option.
It doesn’t take being the daughter of a crazy person to know seeing things isn’t a good sign. Fear rears up inside me like a wild horse. Not fear for anything outside my window, but for me. “Please be there, please be there, please be there,” I whisper, not caring that most sane people don’t wish for someone to be outside their window.
I’m more scared of losing my mind. Did I hear something too? I can’t be sure, but don’t know if that would help or hurt. Could prove someone was really there, or hell, I could be both hearing and seeing things. Please…I don’t want to be like her.
“Abbs?”
Finally my body jumps into action. I twist toward the voice, breathing ragged. “Mom, you scared the crap out of me.” I hold my hand over my chest, fighting the urge for one more look out the window.
“Abigail? What’s wrong?” She steps toward me, her eyes scanning my room. That’s all I need. If she thinks someone is watching me, I can’t imagine what she’ll do. I know she won’t think I’m seeing things. She’ll make me quit my job and I’ll lose the freedom so within reach.
“Nothing. Seriously, I was just writing. I didn’t hear you come in.” Luckily, my diary still sits by the window.
“Okay.” She keeps walked to me. “I was just thinking you might want to back some cookies with me? Maybe watch a movie or something.” She brushes her fingers through my curls, and I sigh. “We haven’t really spent much time together lately. Since you’re going to be a working woman soon, I better schedule my time in while I can.”
She tries to laugh, but I see the fear dancing behind her words. I feel guilty, but not enough to change my mind. Plus, I know what she’s doing and after everything, I need it just as much as she does. I need my best friend. I need normal. “Double chocolate chip?”
“Is there any other kind?”
“Deal.”
Mom heads for my door. I follow behind her. As I turn the corner to go into the hallway, I make myself look behind me. Darkness, trees and nothing.
***
“Stop, you goober. I already put the eggs in.”
I roll my eyes at Mom. “Goober? Really?”
“You’re my goober,” she teases. She used to call me that when I was little. I’m not sure why or where it came from, but I had to fight to lose the name when I realized it totally wasn’t cool.
“You’re a dork.” I dip my finger into the batter and lick it clean. “Mmm, I love chocolate.”
“Me too. I like it much better as a cookie, though.” She smacks my hand. I move to the stove and start scooping chunks of cookie dough onto the cookie sheet. Mom loves to bake. It’s not something I’m really into, but it's something we always do together. I like it, spending time with her like this. I imagine all the other girls at school who do stuff like this with their moms and it makes me feel like I’m not so different from them.
“Not so much. You can use almost half the amount you’re using,” Mom says from beside me.
“Not if I want big cookies.”
“You’ll have one big cookie and nothing else if you keep using so much.” She laughs and I do too. Right now, she doesn’t look so worn out. “They’re going to spread so they’re all touching if you’re not careful.”
I take a little bit of dough from each of the piles and start using the second cookie sheet. After I put them both in the oven, I turn to her. It’s so hard not to ask more questions, but I don’t. Right now I just want to forget. Forget the imaginary person outside my window, forget our fights lately and forget everything I’ve learned. “How’s work?”
It’s such a lame question but she knows what I meant to say because she replies with, “I missed you more.”
Before we get too sentimental, I squeeze her hand and ask, “What do you want to watch?”
It takes us a good twenty minutes to agree on a movie. Of course neither of us throw out any horror titles, but she likes those crime flicks and I’m more of a romantic comedy girl, myself. Finally we decide right as the oven timer goes off. I get the movie set up and sit on the couch. A few minutes later Mom comes in with a big plate of warm, double chocolate chip cookies and two glasses of milk.
As she sits beside me, I smile, forgetting all about the person outside my window. I feel normal.
Chapter Five
It’s funny how sometimes you expect things to magically get better when you get talked to by a cute boy—I mean, when something really cool happens. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I had this image of walking into school today and suddenly not being the vamp freak. Caleb would ask me to hang-out after school; maybe Stacy would trip and break her nose or something. You know, a cool day.
I know it’s not real nice to wish that, but a girl has to get perks somehow, right?