“How do you know?” I ask her. “Were you there? Did you know about them before they killed him? Are they after us?” I feel guilty for taking advantage of this situation, but that’s exactly what I’m doing. Hoping she’s upset enough to give me more details. Hoping I can find the hole in her story to show her it’s a delusion.
When she grabs my hand, I know my odds aren’t that great. It’s what she always does when she’s going to tell me something I don’t like. “I’m not ready, Abbs. And honestly, I know you don’t believe me, but you aren’t either. Not for all the answers.”
Now I’m angry again. My body doesn’t know what to feel, whiplashing between different emotions. I pull my hand away.
“I wanted to wait until you were old enough to tell you about him, but you caught me off guard. I know you don’t understand, but I need you to trust me. I can’t give you more until I know more myself. It wouldn’t be right.”
I shake my head. “How can you expect me to trust you when you’ve kept so much from me my whole life?” I can’t keep hiding inside at night. I can’t keep running away from people who throw your craziness at me.
“Because you’re old enough to know that you don’t know everything. That all I want to do is protect you.” I expect her to try and reach for my hand again, but she doesn’t.
“Oh, so I’m old enough to understand you get to call all the shots, but not old enough to understand what’s going on?” I’m shaking. In a second I’m off the couch and standing on the other side of the room. It’s then that I realize I think I want the answers because I want to believe her. I would rather vampires be real than know she really is crazy. It scares me.
“I got a job.” The words fly out of my mouth. “That’s what I wanted to tell you. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.”
Mom opens her mouth to talk, but I cut her off. “I figure I’m old enough to have this kind of responsibility. Most kids my age already have jobs. I’ll get off at nine which isn’t too late, so I don’t see any reason you shouldn’t let--”
“No.”
“No?”
“It’s dangerous, Abbs. You don’t seem to understand that.”
“Of course I don’t understand it! You won’t give me any answers so I can understand. You just expect me to follow your orders and trust you when you don’t trust me! You think I’m old enough for what suits you and not what helps me.”
“Abby, its dangerous--”
“You can’t always protect me!” I yell. It startles her. Startles me. “Getting in the car every day is dangerous, but we still do it.”
She stands. “It’s not the same thing, and I won’t have you talking to me like that, young lady.”
“Pfft. Yeah, I’m sure vampire attacks outnumber car accidents.” I continue before she can call me on my sarcasm, “Look, I’m sorry I got an attitude, but, please, Mom.” My voice is soft…pleading. “I just want to be like a normal teenager. I’ll wear my cross like I always do. I’ll keep my vial of holy water and my pepper spray, for the off chance I get attacked by an actual human. Anything. Just, please?” I walk over to her and this time, I grab her hand. “I need this. I’m asking you to trust me like you want me to trust you.”
My last words hit home. I can see the change in the worn-out features of her face. If she wants my trust, she’s going to have to give me a little in return. Defeated, she nods.
“Okay.”
***
Mom makes me reiterate at least fifty times that I understand the dangers. From there we move to reciting the ways to hurt or kill a vampire, and confirm our hours so we make sure I can use the car. Of course she throws in the whole call her the second I leave work thing, and finally I start to believe this is happening.
I ignore the shake in Mom’s hand as she repeats that we have a deal. My bad daughter hat is in place again, but I can’t help it. I want to hold onto this freedom as tightly as I clutched the letter still sitting in my pocket.
When Mom says she’s going to take a nap, I tell her I’m going for a walk. Even though we just came to an agreement about work, I still let her know I will be home before dark. I’m not surprised when I find myself slipping through the woods, hoping to find Caleb and share my news with him. Which is dumb. I know that. It’s not like we’re friends, but even though our conversation yesterday is the only real one we’ve ever had, he’s the only person I feel I can share this with.
Butterflies dance in my belly, making me feel a tad nauseous. The thing is, I didn’t want it to be obvious I came looking for him. I’m not a total idiot. There’s no way I’m putting myself out there for him to shoot me down, but this means I can’t go to his house. The only thing I can think to do is to go to the tree we met at yesterday and hope my bad luck gives me a break and he shows up. I know exactly where it is because it’s my tree.
The trunk is huge, with knobs and winding paths of bark around it. It looks different, a little older, a little more knowledgeable, which is really dumb. I think Mom's crazy for believing in vampires, but I think a tree is capable of intelligence. Nice.
I move my dad’s letter around in my hands. Since I found it, it’s always on me. I don’t know why I’m scared. It’s still light outside, but the sun won’t last long. If Caleb doesn’t show up soon, I’m going to have to leave. Which I’m sure is better. I’m not convinced waiting for him isn’t the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. What am I going to say? “Hey, Caleb. Remember me? You look at me a lot, but we never talk. Well, we did yesterday when I was bawling my eyes out. Guess what? I got a job!”
Yeah, now I can see why I don’t have friends.
But still I wait, much too long because the sun is dipping farther and farther into the horizon. The cool late afternoon breeze whispers over me like a gentle caress. I pull my legs closer to fight the chill, telling myself five more minutes. I’ll wait five more minutes before I head home.
The sun sets, dusk settling over the woods around me. As I get up to leave, a branch crunches behind me. Caleb! I’m totally embarrassed over my own giddiness. I turn and suddenly I realize, really realize that it will be dark soon and I’m alone. Well, alone except for the boy in the woods with me. A boy who is definitely not Caleb.
Chapter Four
The boy laughs. “Hi. I hope I didn’t scare you. From the look on your face, I guess I probably did.” He has to be about my age. He has dusty blond hair that sits on the collar of his black jacket. He’s cute. Very cute. If he’s not a psycho murderer, that is.
I frantically scan the area around us. Oh God. No one will hear me scream out here. The thing is, this guy is a stranger. I’m not usually all freaked out about the whole stranger danger thing, but I’m also not usually alone in the woods with someone I don’t know. Even being an outcast, there aren’t many people I don’t know in Karma. Especially people who hang-out in the woods. “Um…hi.” I play it cool, wishing I had my pepper spray.
“Hi. Are you okay? You look like you’re about to bolt at any minute.” He smiles. A real smile. A full, ear to ear one. It’s kind of contagious.
“Should I be ready to run?” Now some people might think that is a stupid question, but not me. I figure if he is a crazy murderer, he’s going to have a little respect for me for coming right out and asking him. Maybe enough to tell me the truth and at least give me head start.
This time, he laughs, holding his hands up in feigned surrender. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just taking a walk and saw you out here. It’s getting dark so I thought I’d check on you.”
Crap. It’s getting darker. Great, I get Mom to give me a little freedom and I stay out too late. Oh and end up in the woods with a strange boy.
He takes a couple steps toward me. “I’m Gabriel Chambers. I just moved here. I can show you my ID if you want.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. He’s a cute boy and he’s talking to me. That doesn’t happen too often. Well, except for yesterday. “ID isn’t necessary. I better go, though. My mom is probably freaking out right now." I have no choice but to walk toward him because he’s standing in the direction of my house. I move past him, ready to break into a run if I need to.
“Yeah, I hear you there.” He starts to walk with me. The butterflies are back and I’m not sure if it’s because he’s cute or because I should be scared. “I didn’t catch your name.”
I speed up. Mom is really going to freak if I don’t hurry and get home. But I still can’t help but think, A cute guy is asking my name! Go me! Of course, that’s only because he doesn’t know about me, but still. “Abigail, but I go by Abby.”
Gabriel keeps up with me. “Can I walk with you? I’m home schooled so this might be my only chance to meet someone my age for a while.”
I’m not really much of an optimist, but this just might be the luckiest day ever. Excluding my earlier bad luck, that is. This might be my chance to meet someone who knows nothing about me. Someone The LP can’t brainwash with their big boobs and even bigger attitudes. “Sure. It’d be cool to have some company. My house is this way.” Duh! It’s the way I’m walking.
We walk in silence for a few minutes. I have no idea what to say to him and, honestly, I’m half afraid if I open my mouth, something really lame will fall out. Luckily, he saves me.
“Lived here long?” Gabe asks.
“A few years. Since right before my freshman year. It sucks.”
Gabriel smiles. “Does it? I moved here from outside Boston. Sucked pretty badly there too, but you get used to it.”
A chill sweeps over me as the wind rustles the trees. Stupid, cold wind.
“Here, take my jacket.”
I stop in my tracks. He’s offering me his coat. It’s ridiculous for me to take it. I don’t know him, we’re almost to the edge of the woods and to the street that leads to my house, but it’s almost like a movie to me. The loser girl who finds this really hot guy to offer her is coat. It’s too good an opportunity to pass up. I take it, slipping my arms inside the warm sleeves. It smells like cloves, I think. Just faintly. The rest is all boy. “Thanks.”