I realized I was shouting, but not because I could feel it. Nope. The dead giveaway was the hands of all the men clamped over their ears. There might have been a little bit of blood running out of The Henry's ear too. I wasn't positive, but it didn't look good.
"The goddess Vampyres are in the dungeon of the Magic Mystery Castle and the baby is in the Grand Fun Palace," The Gus choked out quickly with tears of agony in his eyes. "Please don't speak anymore."
"Or ever again," The Bob begged.
"I am so confused," The Reggie wailed.
"See?" The Kev bellowed joyously as he slowly removed his hands from his ears in case I wasn't done. "That wasn't so difficult. This meeting never happened. You have no knowledge of the imminent arrival of Pink and Bon Jovi and you do not know that I am back in Xanthia."
"Yes, Sire," The Reggie said. "Do you want us to notify The Dave?"
"Who's The Dave?" I asked in a much quieter voice to the great relief of the gathered Fairies.
"The Dave is the leader of the Light. He is imprisoned in the Magic Mystery Castle with Martha and Jane," The Kev told me.
"Along with thousands of other Light Fairies," The Bob added sadly.
"Why aren't you in the dungeon? Aren't you Light?" I got right up in The Bob and The Gus' beautiful faces. They backed away and began to glow an iridescent green.
Looks of embarrassment and shame passed between the quartet. The Henry stepped forward and knelt at my feet. "Pink, we are not Dark, but we have done too many things to be considered Light anymore."
"We are Gray," The Reggie added despondently. "When the true Queen comes home and the Light is restored, we will have no place here."
"That doesn't seem fair," I said. "If you help restore the Light, why do you have to go?"
"It's not that simple," The Bob said. "Nothing the Fairies do is simple."
I glanced over at Ethan. He had said those same words to me. I was sure of it, but I couldn't remember when. The memory lapse sucked huge wads. There had to be something I could do to regain my past. I just wished I knew what it was. Shithellbitchass.
Chapter 12
Changes of plans that disrupt your child's schedule can result in madness (in the parent and occasionally the institutionalization of said parent). It is suggested to keep regular nap times and feeding times. If you can't do this, be prepared to suffer the consequences…
"So we're going to take Samuel back during the American Idol show?" I asked as I put some space between me and Ethan. He seemed to be taking the fake mate thing a bit too seriously.
"Hell to the no," The Kev said as he dusted the furniture in the new safe house he'd taken us to.
"But you told…" I started.
"Of course I told them that. I can't have them knowing our real plans," he explained as he rearranged knickknacks to his liking. He had one Hell of a case of OCD going on. "There's a chance one of them has already gone to The Corrine."
"Are you kidding me?" I snapped. "Why in the Hell would you tell them anything if you thought they would reveal us?"
"Because he wants The Corrine to know," Ethan said as he slid his large hands around my waist and pulled me close.
"Um, well I—you know," I stammered as I extricated myself from his grasp. It was alarming how good it felt to be in his arms. My brain got mushy when he was too close. "Why do you want her to know?"
"It will infuriate her and make her sloppy," The Kev said as he ripped a lovely afghan off the green couch and shredded it. "The color was wrong," he explained as he replaced it with a blinding orange and purple fleece blanket. Obsessive compulsive with horrendous taste…nice. "I also wanted to make it clear that the child did not belong to Gemma. You were quite spectacular in your explanation, Krumecaca."
If I could blush I'd be bloody. "It was the first thing that came to mind," I mumbled. "I don't even remember all of it." I refused to make eye contact with Ethan. I had given him a vasectomy and basically castrated him in front of witnesses. I wasn't sure he would like that much.
"Will they believe Samuel is not Gemma's?" Ethan asked as he examined a pile of clothes that The Kev had dropped on a table in front of him. "You can't possibly expect me to wear any of this."
"I can and I do." The Kev grinned from ear to ear. "You're a rock star, my man. You have to dress like one. And to answer your first question, I'm not sure."
"I have a difficult time believing Bon Jovi wore assless leather chaps," he said as he pinched the bridge of his nose and winced.
"Whoops!" The Kev chuckled. "Those are mine. Sorry about that."
"Does Gemma know about those?" I asked. I giggled at the appalled scream she would produce if she saw her man in pants with the butt cut out.
"She bought them for me." He grinned and wiggled his very nice rear end that I was now picturing in ways I shouldn't.
That certainly shut me up. Covering my shock and embarrassment I pawed through the pile of fabric scraps The Kev had dropped in front of me. "I can't wear any of this hookery shit," I told him.
"It's good to see you are becoming one with your profanity again," he said kindly and ignored my ultimatum.
"Did you hear me?" I asked.